bugger it I've got to stop drinking

[YeahCorvid]

at least for a bit.

sigh. who else is teetering on the edge of a drink problem and facing up to it?

I think if you tell yourself you cannot drink ever again, you will set yourself up for failure. You're just starting out on controlling your drinking, so decide that you will not have a drink today. Then tomorrow, you tell yourself you will not have a drink that day either. One day at a time.

And if you think you have a real dependency problem (which you might well do) then think about not doing this alone. AA is one option you have, but there are others.

Op, you sound a lot like me.
I faced up to it in January, but only really just turned a proper corner when I joined slimming world. The wine made me fat. I didn't want to be fat (or drunk or hungover) anymore. Now I'm trying just not to have any in the house.

I also have a cross stitch kit I've been meaning to do! lol. But it's too fiddly to do when you're drinking! I actually really enjoy doing craft stuff and there is so much I could be doing with my evenings. I tried the non alcohol red wine but it's just too sweet for me. I've been trying to implement some non alcohol nights for a while now but I'm just not managing it. Hence why I think I might go and see the GP. I tend to drink half a bottle of wine on a "good" night and a whole bottle on a "bad" night. When I add up the units though it does come to about 50 which is way over the guidelines.

Have you tried taking out wine? I find this very addictive.

I would recommend you either switch to one drink - the smallest splash of gin and then a pint of slimline tonic and ice. Or a splash of wine topped with lemonade or soda. You can cut down to nothing in a week or two or just stick to the smallest of quantities (and I do mean less than a thimble) If the end of the day drink is important to you then this is a good option. It worked for me. I don't miss a glass of wine at all, I still feel I am having a 'special' evening downtime drink but without the alcohol content so that is probably why.

I have lost weight, feel so good in the mornings and I don't feel compromised in the evenings. If try this and it doesn't work and you can't cut down any other way, then consider quietly going to the GP (or private dr for off the record help) and talk to your dr. There is medication now you can take once a day. No need to tell the world if you don't want to, but you can change things quietly and off the radar.

@LanguidLobster (and anyone else!) I've headed over to DRY if anyone wants to buddy up on some booze free chat with me

Can you post a link? @YeahCorvid I can't find you

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2973421-DRY-18

I've just posted there - come on over @whatsthisbear

Also anyone else! Let's get this party started :)

The best book I've read on this is 'The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober'. Absolutely brilliant. www.amazon.co.uk/Unexpected-Joy-Being-Sober-alcohol-free/dp/1912023385?tag=mumsnetforum-21

If you're determined to try and moderate, check out Club Soda. They have a really active, friendly private FB group as well.
joinclubsoda.co.uk/

Another online community, focused more on women, is Soberistas
soberistas.com/

And here's a list of relevant blogs:
blog.feedspot.com/living_sober_blogs/

Finally, there is AA. Totally understand if it doesn't appeal, but it does work for many people:
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/

Thanks @YeahCorvid

@BeUpStanding thanks for all the info & links, will have a proper look when I have more time.

Thanks @beupstanding. I had not heard of Club Soda, they look interesting.
I've put my goals in as quitting for a month. Maybe I need to do more than that but I can see when I get there - this is a starting point and I feel like I have some accountability.

I was feeling the same way as you, OP. I was drinking a bottle of wine per night, sometimes as much as 1.5 - 2 on a Friday or Saturday night.

I decided in May that I had to cut back. For my health and my weight.

The key for me was breaking my evening routine. Every night it was get home, pyjamas on, bottle open. Instead, I got home and immediately took the dog out for a walk. I found this was enough to distract from the mindset of "finished work = drink wine". At weekends, I allowed myself two glasses of wine on Friday and two glasses on Saturday. Nothing from Sunday to Thursday.

I honestly couldn't believe how bad the wine used to make me feel. I didn't even realise I felt so bad because it was the norm to me. But the feeling of going to bed sober and waking up sober was fantastic.

From there, I did dry June. However, come July we were on holiday visiting family (who themselves are heavy drinkers) and it's kind of slipped from there. I still don't drink Mon-Thurs but I have started drinking heavily again on Fridays, Saturdays and the occasional Sunday.

It's a start and a hell of a lot better than I used to be. Plus it has shown me that I can stop drinking for a month at a time. 3 weeks until my next holiday so I've already decided to stop again for those 3 weeks Baby steps, OP. It can be done.

A motto that's helped me lots is never give up giving up. Keep chipping away at it. Try different ideas, keep what works and ditch what doesn't.

I've spent years trying to moderate my drinking, with varying degrees of success, but personally I have no 'stop' switch. Once I have a glass, there's no stopping me until it runs out or I pass out! So I've come to the realisation it's easier for me not to drink at all, but we're all different.

A huge problem is that UK culture is absolutely sodden in alcohol. Every social occasion, celebration, commiseration, holiday, and festival is accompanied by booze. Heavy drinking is generally acceptable, and there's stigma attached to admitting that you think you might have a bit of a problem. It's a ridiculous situation once you start thinking about it!

Personally I found reading and learning more about alcohol and it's effects went a long way to helping reset my relationship with it. This book was great for that:
www.amazon.co.uk/This-Naked-Mind-Discover-Happiness/dp/0996715002?tag=mumsnetforum-21

A huge problem is that UK culture is absolutely sodden in alcohol. Every social occasion, celebration, commiseration, holiday, and festival is accompanied by booze.

This ^^ absolutely.

I got a ridiculously hard time from my ILs some months ago. DP and I were invited to theirs for an impromptu BBQ. No special occasion, just a spur-of-the-moment BBQ on a Thursday evening. I got questioned and berated and even accused of hiding a secret pregnancy just because I said I didn't want to drink that day.

Also when you stop drinking you notice how much of our culture is drink led, Birthday cards, Facebook posts, nights out etc all booze
The soaps main meeting places are the pub.
I now have no problem drinking but people I know feel uncomfortable about it, why don’t you drink, just have one etc.
It was the same back in the day when I gave up smoking.
It’s bloody hard to stop but once you break the routine, start to lose weight etc you will feel so much better.
It’s a case of today I won’t have a drink or
Good luck 😬
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