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House invaded by pop stars [Trigger Warning]

30 replies

Saggital · 15/09/2018 19:21

I know its getting a bit cooler, evenings are drawing in, but what the heck. What is it about this time of year?

Take last night, sitting watching TV heard a scratching from the corner of the room and we've got flippin Beatles. I jumped a mile, Paul and Ringo in the corner under the lampshade strumming away on their guitars. They had eaten half my bombay mix before I spotted them and then I noticed my gin had gone down. So I said I'm not putting up with this and storm up to bed. Half an hour later I hear a scratching from the ceiling and DH says not to worry its just a mouse. Like WTF, these noises are LOUD and deliberate. He gets the huff but eventually goes up in the attic to have a look and frickin' Bob Geldof is up there isn't he! Strutting around, banging against the rafters with the rest of the Boomtown Rats. Anyway we called The Police and eventually Sting turned up turfed them out so we could get back to sleep.

Toll forward to 7am, get up to go to work and hear the most almighty deep crashes and bangs coming from the kitchen. Not what I want on a weekend is Flaming Adam and his Ants crashing out their ant music on umpteen sets of drums. Frickin DS left the window open and that's how they got in.

Got back home this afternoon thinking the house will be a haven of peace now, but No! I can hear them half a mile away. Flock of bloody Seagulls have moved in and shitting all over the roof. Get to the garden gate, holes everywhere. Bloody everywhere. Echo and his frickin' Bunnymen have come in off the fields during harvest.

LOL at some posters freakin out at spiders. You should try living in Weybridge this time of year.

OP posts:
MLTS · 15/09/2018 19:31

Are you high? 😂

SneakyGremlins · 15/09/2018 19:32
Confused
Littlechocola · 15/09/2018 19:33

😂

HemanOrSheRa · 15/09/2018 19:34

I...erm...No Grin

worknamechanged · 15/09/2018 19:35

Have you checked the bathroom for Hoodie and the Blowfish?

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 15/09/2018 19:35

OP, I like your style Grin

Cleanermaidcook · 15/09/2018 19:35

😂😂😂

Saggital · 15/09/2018 19:37

Can't get in there work my son Noah is in the bath with a frickin Whale.

Spiders would be good. Bring back spiders.

OP posts:
OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 15/09/2018 19:38

👏👏👏for channeling Pete & Dud.
Ive got a plague of Spiders from Mars here.

Easynow · 15/09/2018 19:39

Sorry - what? Grin

VanillaSugary · 15/09/2018 19:40

Sounds like OP has gone a bit Lady GaGa.

DollyWilde · 15/09/2018 19:43

I’m a glass of wine in so think this is brilliant. Also YABU OP, I grew up near Weybridge and you wouldn’t get any of this nonsense in those mega mansions on St George’s Hill Shock

worknamechanged · 15/09/2018 19:43

I stumbled across the pussy cat dolls earlier whilst trying to get the Gorillaz out. Would also rather spiders than early 2000s bands.

TheWoollybacksWife · 15/09/2018 19:46

You need to get them out OP. Dead or Alive.

ohdeardeardear · 15/09/2018 19:46

😂 made my evening

INeedNewShoes · 15/09/2018 19:48

Very good Grin

Saggital · 15/09/2018 19:51

Anyone know how to get a Ringo out? I tried to put a glass over him and scoop him up with a bit of cardboard underneath, but he saw it coming and scuttled down to the kitchen.

He's been sat at my table now since 10.30 and he's already had a box of jaffa cakes, tube of Pringles, pack of frozen mince, whole litre of Irn Bru and now he's on a packet of Haribos. I'm too frightened to pick him up and I'm at my wit's end.

OP posts:
BlancheM · 15/09/2018 19:58

I'm not clever enough for this 😂
That's enough todaying for today

Bluejeanz · 15/09/2018 20:02

Brilliant 😂!

A580Hojas · 15/09/2018 20:03

Hate "in joke" threads.

AynRandTheObjectivist · 15/09/2018 20:05

I wonder if I should remind you that there are, or were, bands called Ned's Atomic Dustbin and A Life Changing Buttock Condition. Oh, and the Barenaked Ladies.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 15/09/2018 20:10

Meh. Think yer self lucky yer not Jayne Mansfield. She had to put up with Lobsters. And they weren’t even Rock Lobsters. Won’t tell you where they took up residence but she’d have probably preferred they were in her roof space and not, y’know. You should call Derek and Clive’s pest control.

Sparklingbrook · 15/09/2018 20:14

I have no clue what is going on but if Duran Duran turn up at your house OP, I will be round to sort it. Oh and same for Martin Kemp.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 15/09/2018 20:17

Well op, have you been in the garden for a break? Iwent out and was surprised to see the Hollies (both bushes) are covered in Berries (Dave and Nick). However the bloody Stone Roses are making a right mess, will have to (virgin) prune them. The Byrds have obviously been down Blackberry way though as they are pooing purple over my washing. They did make a mess of my Strawbs in The Summertime.
Btw, it's not an in joke, it's a series of poor puns (in my case) OP has obviously been on the airfix. 😏

Saggital · 15/09/2018 20:25

You be Counting Crows while you are there OhWhat

OP posts:
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