OH not happy about holiday

[BingsAWankerSoHeIs]

My friend has just split up with her fiancé. She's distraught, they had a holiday booked for two weeks time

She's begging me to go, she won't even take any money off me for it - gorgeous hotel - very nice of her. She is distraught

OH of just under a year isn't happy..

It'll only be a week..he doesn't want me to go even though we have no plans for that week

He's being a dick, isn't he?

We don't live together or anything

Like huggy I'd be a bit irritated at the loss of holiday time together, assuming you both work. But you have said that you don't live together, so maybe it's not that. What do you think is the reason, OP?

huggy That’s different.

Not happy about what? It sounds to me like he doesn’t particularly like your friend and possibly the dynamic when two of you are together?

Are you asking him to take care of pets or something while you’re gone?

Need more info, really.

He's worried you'll go out on the pull with your newly single friend. It's obvious. He's insecure or doesn't trust you. Where are you going? Tell him you'll send him a postcard

Perhaps he thinks now she's single you'll be off out on the pull every night
What a great opportunity, I wouldn't hesitate to go with her.
Hope you have a fab week!

Its non of his business really, your not married to him. Sounds to be showing his controlling side here I think.

He is being a dick. Perhaps reassure him that you won't be on the pull yourself but don't take any of his nonsense.

He isn't necessarily a dick...(he might be, but not enough info here!)

My DP is away at the moment and it sucks. I don't enjoy him going away, ridiculously, I can not sleep properly when he isn't here (it was 4am when I finally managed to get to sleep last night) and I just generally miss him. We don't get many weekends together due to his work schedule, so they are pretty precious. My feelings are valid.

However, I haven't stopped him, or been a pain in the arse about him going. (I am getting slightly annoyed by him texting me to tell me that he is bored - but he doesn't know that!)

"I was telling you, not asking permission"

What a twat.

I'm glad you're going.

If he makes additional noises about not wanting you to go, I'd reconsider the relationship. Imagine marrying him and him thinking he owned all your time!

Yes he is being a dick. Go and enjoy yourself. You could do with a free holiday and your mate could do with company during a difficult time. Its win,win!

sod him id go

I can't see what it has to do with him really. He is just a bloke you have been dating. You don't live together so I presume no shared finances?

He can be as unhappy as he likes about it. No way would I give up the chance for a nice holiday with my distraught mate.

And I would keep a watchful eye out for any further weird behaviour from him....

You should go. It's ok for him to miss you but it's not ok for him to try to stop you going.

My DP will be cheerfully waving me off on holiday tomorrow. I'm going with friends. DP can't wait to get the house to himself. He's gone as far as suggesting we make it an annual thing

Not a good sign about him.

Why would you “miss him like crazy”: it’s only one week!

What reasons did he give for not being happy you were going?

lol wot. My partner and I have been together for 7 years, live together, are expecting a baby, and both of us go on jollies without the other. I want my OH to do the things he enjoys that I don't, and to maintain his friendships; I hope he wants the same for me.

Your partner needs to learn that it's cute to miss you and be sad to be parted from you, but not cute to try to make you feel bad about it. It might all be totally benign, but if I were you I'd keep your wits about you in case this escalates.

A bf of one year, who you don't share finances or children with, has got no business objecting. It either means he doesn't trust you or wants to control you.

I think a partner has a right to object if you are expecting them to cover your share of family responsibilities, using family money or precious annual leave. None of that applies to a bf you don't even live with!

I think he thinks holidays with friends are for those of 21 years of age.

Then he needs to get his ideas up to date. I'm a long way past 21 and go on holiday with a friend quite often: she's widowed and doesn't like going on her own, DH is pretty neutral about holidays and it's really quite difficult to force him to take one, and he's perfectly happy for me to go. I think he enjoys having the bed to himself and not having to watch things like Strictly and Bake Off. Win-win.

I would go, and if he has any more of a reaction I would be looking at your relationship dumping him

Red flag. I had a boyfriend like this once, I'd booked a holiday with a friend prior to us getting together and as the holiday drew closer he got huffy about me going. I went but he made the entire trip a living nightmare. Upon my arrival at the hotel he called me distraught saying his mum had died (no idea if this was actually true, he had previously told me they were estranged as she had been abusive to him as a child) and then proceeded to harass me by phone night and day accusing me of all sorts if I didn't answer or didn't return his calls quick enough. Things only got worse when I got home, he was jealous and controlling. I was an absolute wreck by the time the relationship finally ended.

I would tell your boyfriend to stop being silly, you are going. Watch his reaction and his behaviour thereafter very carefully.

I was expecting this to be because he didn't want to look after the kids or something. No idea what his problem is!

I think he thinks holidays with friends are for those of 21 years of age.

My mother is in her late 70s and holidays with friends.

Do you have newborn twins that you would be leaving him with?

You are a grown woman, you don’t have children together I’m assuming as you don’t even live togther so no conversation needed really all this should require is I’m going away x week tbh.