All male ward, I'm the only female, would you be comfortable with it?

[ilovewelshrarebit123]

So I'm tired, tearful and fed up, so I'm not sure I'm thinking straight.

I've been in A&E for two days, and had a horrendous time, they've moved me to a ward with three nice old ladies.

I've been here half an hour and they've just told me I'm moving to another ward. Off we trot, I've no glasses or contacts in so can see very little.

I've just sat down and realised there are six beds in here and I'm the only woman the rest are occupied my men.

Next to me is a man who was aggressive in A&E abusing the staff. He's trying to engage me in conversation.

I've had no sleep as I sat on a chair in a corridor for 19 hours. I cannot sleep in here and I want to cry.

What can I do?

That's horrible. Without your glasses too, bless you I'd be in a state of panic without mine in what already sounds like a very vunrable situation.

As others have suggested, can someone help? A family or relative?

Awful. No I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all - even if they were all the nicest guys, I would still want to be on a female only ward.

They were meant to be getting rid of mixed sex wards completely - for obvious reasons. We're at risk now of losing single sex spaces completely, or everything going 'gender neutral'

I'm sure the doctor you spoke to was lovely - but that "oh please complain, or nothing will change" is such a cop out. The onus should be on them to deal with this for you now - not just telling you to complain about it. Still, please do complain. Or get someone else to complain for you. Loudly.

I hope you have real-life support as well OP?

And anyone who says they wouldn’t mind being in this situation is an absolute blithering idiot, with limited intelligence and no empathy.

How incredibly fucking rude

Both times I’ve been in hospital I’ve been in so much pain that I literally wouldn’t have cared if I’d had a bed in the waiting room and surgery there and then with it being broadcast out over the BBC. Being in a ward with men wouldn’t phase me at all.

If the OP is uncomfortable by it and it goes against NHS guidelines then that’s a different issue and her wishes should be respected, but just because other posters have said they wouldn’t care doesnt make us all idiots as you describe

Oh I'm so sorry, you deserve better as do the other people on your bay/ward.

Did they move you out of a female bay because there was a lady in there with dementia? that's not fair, they could have dealt with that without moving you into a male bay. I'd ask to speak to the site manager and tell them you need to be moved, either back to the female bay or into a sideroom.

I wouldn't be happy at all. Do you have curtains that can be pulled around to give you some privacy?

I had my obs taken and burst into tears. I told the nurse I CAN'T stay on this ward and she offered to draw the curtains round.

So now I'm sat here listening to the dick head next door playing music feeling like shit.

I thought she would come back to me but she hasn't, this whole experience has just been shocking.

Press your bell again OP.
Assert yourself as much as you can. Let them know this is not okay, you don't feel safe and you need to be in a different space.

I really feel for you.

Tell them you are afraid of the man next door. Tell them with the curtains closed no one else can see if you are safe, and with them open he keeps bothering you. Weep loudly.

Assessment units are still classed as wards I think, they need to move you you poor thing

Oh OP, I think you've no choice but to make a nuisance of yourself until you get listened to. It's awful, but the staff are under so much pressure it's easier to ignore polite patients than deal with them.

I feel complegely shocked, sad and scared when I read about conditions in NHS hospitals. I can’t believe you had to sit in a corridor for 19 hours OP. That is truly shocking. And now not only are you with men against your wishes, but someone is playing music??

Can you ask for some earplugs ? I am stunned and horrified for you and truly hope this is resolved ASAP :-( xxxx

They should have asked you and given you the choice. I'd pick the blethering old lady every day in your situation.

I have slept on mixed wards before but it's been on the children's ward with DS. Still feels a bit funny knowing there's a random man in the bed next to you but at least I'm not the one who's ill and they are there with their DC (and DH and I alternate nights in hospital when DS is in so it's not like some other women doesn't have to put up with his snoring the next night). And frankly the men have been less hassle than some of the other women (sends daggers towards a very loud GM who spoke on her phone until about 11pm one memorable night. Don't think she realised how often they did Obs overnight and how early you got woken up, her GC had been in for weeks and I assume she was in to give the parents a break. She went to sleep a lot earlier the next night!).

Keep ringing your bell-if you stay quiet behind the curtain you will get forgotten. Ask to see whichever manager is on call for the hospital tonight and say you want to raise a complaint and they need to fill in an incident form about your 19 hr wait.

Ring up the main hospital reception and ask them what their policy is on mixed wards.

Then when they tell you that they don't have them (or just have mixed wards but single sex bays) point out that they do have them because you're in one, it's a safeguarding issue as the man in the next bed is harassing you and you would like to go back to the single sex ward you were moved out of due to the old lady with dementia chatting - that you find that much preferable to being harassed by the bloke in the next bed. And that if they can't do anything then please will they take a message to that effect and escalate it to the person who can do something about it tonight.

Sorry to hear you're soooo ill and being put in such a stressful position which must be making you feel worse - hope it gets sorted soon...

God op how awful. Please get more assertive and say you need to be moved now.

You need to speak to the site manager, they won't come straight away as they usually have a night handover to go to. Turn your light on, ring for the nurse and say you will be putting a complaint in tomorrow or when you feel stronger.

I was only female on mixed ward overnight when I was 18, I think those saying they wouldn't mind, if you haven't actually tried it, and with an aggressive man in next bed as per op, you don't really know. I found it a really unsettling experience.

Op is there anyone who can ring them and have a word? Are you physically able to up sticks and find simewhere else to sit or be? Can you ask to be put back with the old ladies?

I’m sorry you’re poorly and now you feel unsafe too. I understand that single sex wards are preferable but cannot always be accommodated e.g. intensive care and A&E. I’m not sure how it works on a medical assessment unit. Either way, I totally get why you feel the way you do and wish you well.

Happened to me once, but it wasn't their fault. Staff do their best, hopefully they'll move you soon.the mens wives were more upset than me!

Ask to speak to nurse in charge and if no joy, the site manager. Tell them you feel vulnerable. This can be resolved tonight.

Hospitals can have mixed sex areas in critical care. That's it. Assessment wards must not be mixed if patients are admitted, it's ok if it's an assessment area with chairs where you are waiting to be seen. The hospital will be fined because of what's happening now to the op.
Op the rules are on your side. Insist on speaking to somebody in authority.

Yanbu this is crap

I ended up staying on the ward with the curtains closed.

The nurse told me at 6 this morning another lady had been brought on.

I had a good nights sleep and I'm thinking clearer now, so will think about the complaint they want me to put in.