Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

AIBU to expect DH to have a bit of common sense?

41 replies

HeyThoughIWalk · 11/09/2018 19:53

On Friday, DS (3) had a routine hospital appointment. One of the tests showed up something that they were a bit concerned about, so they decided to keep him in over the weekend for observation.

I sent DH a message with a list of things to bring to the hospital (as I hadn't been expecting us to be staying). The list included "underwear".

He turned up with 1 pair of pants to last the weekend. No socks, no bras.

He tried to argue that I should have been more specific, but surely a moment's thought would have told him that 1 pair of pants was not going to be adequate for a weekend stay.

Anyone else have a DP who completely lacks common sense?

OP posts:
Original poster
HeyThoughIWalk · 11/09/2018 20:07

Oh, he also sent me a message saying "Mrs X phoned, you need to call her back". Mrs X is a parent from a youth club I'm involved in. I don't have her number, but of course DH didn't think to ask for it.

Plus he sent me a message to ask for the number for the dry cleaner so he could phone and check if his suit was ready... I didn't know which dry cleaner he'd gone to, let alone their number. I suggested he Google it, but he didn't know the name.
Me: if you know where it was located, try Google maps and see if it's on there.
Him (10 minutes later): I can't work Google maps. It's not on there. I need the number
Me: why not just go down and see if it's ready? (Knowing he used somewhere reasonably local)
Him: no, I've stuff to do
Me: if you have the docket, maybe their name/number is on it
Him (2 minutes later): just the name is on it, no phone number
Me: but if you have the name, now you can Google it

I despair. He's normally fairly organised and competent, but if something turns up unexpectedly, he's absolutely hopeless. He just goes into this kind of panic mode where he can't think of any solutions at all.

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 11/09/2018 20:08

I tried answering a similar question in another thread and got my head handed to me, so I'll just post the link:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3361811-AIBU-to-expect-DH-to-have-sought-out-the-packed-lunch-boxes-and-washed-them

Original poster
HeyThoughIWalk · 11/09/2018 20:13

@MissConductUS I refuse to believe that anyone is incapable of looking at a list of items that includes "underwear" and at least thinking "well, that's pants and socks, so 2 of each since it's for the weekend". He has no problem packing his own stuff when he goes away. I can vaguely understand that he might not think of bras, or maybe thinks they don't get changed every day or something... but 1 pair of pants for a full weekend, and no socks?!

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
MissConductUS · 11/09/2018 20:18

I posted before seeing your second post. He's a numpty, what can I tell you?

KMoKMo · 11/09/2018 20:26

I feel your pain.
What’s worse is that I met my DH at work. He is exceptional at his job. Organised, efficient - totally on the ball and very highly thought of.
What happens when he leaves the workplace I don’t know. If I ask him to pack a bag for our 2 year old, of things she’ll need for a day out, so nappies, drink, change of clothes, woolly hat/sun cream depending on season etc you’d think I’d asked him to perform brain surgery. He just cannot get his head round it. Even if I (reluctantly - he’s the parent too) list the (few) things that I know aren’t already in her bag he’ll still manage to forget something.
I’m not sure what the answer is.

cervy · 11/09/2018 20:36

Socks aren't underwear.

MollysMummy2010 · 11/09/2018 20:45

I went to hospital unexpectedly to have dd. I was wearing pjs and he brought me track suit bottoms and knee length boots to go home in. Don’t know how I am still married.

sproutsandparsnips · 11/09/2018 20:50

Mollys Grin
I beg to differ though verve- socks are underwear, you wear them under your shoes which are outerwear.

sproutsandparsnips · 11/09/2018 20:51

Bloody hell, cervy stupid autocorrect!

MissConductUS · 11/09/2018 20:55

Mollys, I'm sure you looked smashing in a PJ's top and track suit bottom. Were the boots at least a bit stylish? Grin

Neshoma · 11/09/2018 20:58

Bras? As in more than one? I'd have stayed in the same one if it was just a weekend. Even the same undies if I had to.

Original poster
HeyThoughIWalk · 11/09/2018 21:01

@MollysMummy2010 that's hilarious!!

This weekend, DH brought DS clothes to go home in - 2 pairs of pants, a pair of shoes, and a pair of shorts. No jumper or socks.

OP posts:
cervy · 11/09/2018 21:01

Is your top underwear, you wear it under your jacket which is outerwear?

Original poster
HeyThoughIWalk · 11/09/2018 21:02

@cervy what do you mean, socks aren't underwear?! In any case, would you not think "oh, there are no socks on this list, but I'm sure she'll need some; I'll throw in a pair and I can always bring them home again if they're not needed".

OP posts:
Original poster
HeyThoughIWalk · 11/09/2018 21:03

@Neshoma yes, I change my bra every day... is that not normal?

I did end up wearing the same socks all weekend... I was just mystified that he didn't think to bring any!

OP posts:
Neshoma · 11/09/2018 21:18

No I don't think It's normal. I change every 2-3 days. Same with my DDs.

Unless you are very sweaty.....

HelenUrth · 11/09/2018 21:21

My aunt had her 1st baby unexpectedly early many years ago, in the days before disposable nappies. Uncle was despatched to shop for baby stuff. Bought 2 nappies.
When asked why only 2, he said one on, one in the wash!

FinallyARainbow · 11/09/2018 21:26

After giving birth to DC1 I needed more underwear as I was kept in for 4 nights thanks to preeclampsia. DH turned up with a mix of size 6 thongs and tiny lace pants Hmm he brought enough bras though so not a total let down (I also change mine every day)

delphguelph · 11/09/2018 21:28

To be blunt, he just doesn't see it as that important.

delphguelph · 11/09/2018 21:29

DH needs specific, detailed instructions for stuff. He's another one who's infallible at work Confused

Original poster
HeyThoughIWalk · 11/09/2018 21:33

@HelenUrth oh, yes, I also said we needed more nappies for DS... he bought them, but didn't actually bring them. He thought I just wanted them for when DS got home. This is despite the list I sent him being specifically entitled "Things To Bring To The Hospital".

OP posts:
IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 11/09/2018 21:33

It's sheer laziness. Why bother thinking when you can get a woman to do it for you?
If he is competent at work, then being crap at home is a choice.

Original poster
HeyThoughIWalk · 11/09/2018 21:35

@delphguelph That's what I think - it's just not that important, in his head. As I said, if he's packing for himself, he can manage to pack an appropriate number of pairs of boxers. He never forgets anything. But somehow I'm meant to only need 1 pair of pants.

OP posts:
delphguelph · 11/09/2018 21:38

Why bother thinking when you can get a woman to do it for you?

^^

This. It's easier for them if you do it for them.

Feel your pain op, if you find the solution let me know!

MipMipMip · 11/09/2018 21:41

Neshoma I rewear bras but you should have at least 24 and ideally 48 hours between wears to maintain the life of the bra. Otherwise they stretch weirdly.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.