AIBU to expect DH to have a bit of common sense?

[HeyThoughIWalk]

On Friday, DS (3) had a routine hospital appointment. One of the tests showed up something that they were a bit concerned about, so they decided to keep him in over the weekend for observation.

I sent DH a message with a list of things to bring to the hospital (as I hadn't been expecting us to be staying). The list included "underwear".

He turned up with 1 pair of pants to last the weekend. No socks, no bras.

He tried to argue that I should have been more specific, but surely a moment's thought would have told him that 1 pair of pants was not going to be adequate for a weekend stay.

Anyone else have a DP who completely lacks common sense?

I left dh to pack for DS on a camping trip. He forgot to pack trousers and all ds had was the shorts he wore in the car. Good thing it was a warm weekend and he didn't have any accidents!
(to be fair dh is usually really good when it comes to DS. When it's me he needs to do stuff for he kind of gets brain freeze.)

I can’t.

Mine is getting better bless him. But hmmm... sometimes you do wonder.

I did not look good. High heeled knee high boots and very slouchy trackies. Not the look I normally go for.

What a pudding brain. LTB! I cannot stand childish incompetence.

My OH was stood looking in the fridge once and shouted to me in another room "where is X? I can't see it in the fridge?"

I laughed at him and said "you have a much better chance of finding it from where you are, you simpleton". And he hasn't done it since. He did laugh when I pointed out his stupidity. Male stupidity I have no patience for. None.

When you get home, don't wash his clothes and just say "oh I didn't know you needed clean stuff. You should have been more specific". Honestly.

Try re-training him. Just do exactly what he does, pretend to be a three year old. Answer 'I don't know' to every stupid question he asks. Resist the urge to help. Eg

Dh: what is the number for the dry cleaner?
Op: I don't know
Dh: but I need to know when my suit will be ready
Op:...
Dh: what am I supposed to do
Op: I don't know
Dh: you aren't helping
Op: I'm sure you can sort it
Dh: how???
OP : I don't know

Try to enjoy this process. He goes into panic mode because he can. He will probably sulk when he realises his facilitator has gone on strike. Use this peace and quiet to search for the Incompetent Husbands thread.
Don't give in to the sulking. As with behaviour change in children, consistency is key.

When I went into labour at 31 weeks unexpectedly without a hospital bag packed. dh went home and came back with my suitcase filled with the contents of my knicker drawer which he had just tipped into the case complete with my make up and hair straighteners. no actual clothes either. Had to send my mum out of a mission to get me some clothes to wear!😂

@MeanTangerine I'm going to try that. It does drive me up the wall when he asks me things that I've no reason to know. But he gets really wound up when he can't find things; eg with the dry cleaner number he'll have been stamping round the house, swearing. It's so much easier to just find the number to shut him up, but I'm going to try to stop.

I hope you sent it home with a flea in his ear to do it properly!

Was in hospital prior to birth of dd so used all the clothes I had brought dh took them home and I asked him to bring clothes to go home in. He brought a lycra top I went clubbing in and a tight short denim skirt and 6inch knee high boots ! I swear to god my mum nearly died when I climbed out the car in my outfit 3 days post c-section. It's all on video forever ( no the skirt wasn't done up and the top was a crop style )
I sympathise OP

I have always asked for a detailed list and I would only take in enough for 1 day as I would expect to be visiting everyday.

I have to say that if I was in hospital looking after an inpatient child - I would genuinely kill my husband for demanding information about dry cleaners

The only offering I got from DH when in hospital after a tibia/ fibula break with ankle dislocation was a pair of my slippers. Where did he think I'd be walking to?

Yes, @BathshebaKnickerStickers - I was so annoyed! It just smacked of "my problem is the most important and must be solved NOW".

Even though it wasn't particularly urgent or important, and in any case, I was less capable of finding a solution than he was.

@Singletomingle I have always asked for a detailed list and I would only take in enough for 1 day as I would expect to be visiting everyday.

See, this is another thing that cracks me up - DH does this too. He assumes that all future plans will work out. So he'd bring enough for one day, assuming he can bring more the next day.

But if something happens the next day, like the car won't start, or he has a cold and isn't allowed in, or my parents can't take DD so he has to stay at home with her, then I'm the one sitting in hospital with no pants!

Genuinely: why not just bring it all on the first day, and then you know it's there, and it's one less thing to think about?

If my wife and child were in hospital I would make it everyday, worst case scenario I would make sure a relative or close friend could get there.

So many depressing replies on here, why the fuck are you all breeding with such shit specimens? How can you find misogyny and being treated as an appliance arousing? Raise your standards, ffs,