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Original poster

People that don’t believe when you say your partner doesn’t watch porn.

56 replies

CocoDeMoll · 10/09/2018 18:19

It’s not a conversation I have all that regularly Grin but when it does come up so many people pull a Hmm face when I say that dh isn’t into porn and that I wouldn’t like it playing a part in our relationship. Is it really that common among men? Are women really ok with it?

OP posts:
namechangefriday · 10/09/2018 18:21

I thought my ex husband didn’t use porn too - until he got a virus on the laptop and freaked out and had to admit it.
I didn’t care but I did laugh at his embarrassment!

Nothisispatrick · 10/09/2018 18:22

I’ve never had that discussion with anyone! Is it something that comes up often?

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 10/09/2018 18:22

Uh not this again. Yes, many men, not all, watch it. And many women are fine with it. And many women watch it too.

troodiedoo · 10/09/2018 18:26

it's because it's not something you can say with 100% authority. unless you monitor your husband 24 hours a day.

You could say:
if I found out my partner had used porn I would end the relationship.
or even:
porn is not an issue in our relationship.

Pissedoffdotcom · 10/09/2018 18:31

Yeah unless you monitor 24/7 you can't say 100% fact your oh doesn't use it.

missyB1 · 10/09/2018 18:41

I know my dh better than anyone and I know he finds porn a turn off, i know that like i know he hates the smell of fag smoke and he hates strictly. It's just something i know about him, its not a big deal so he wouldn't have any reason to pretend.

Yes in theory he could be a secret porn watcher but that's like saying he could really love the smell of fags, and be secretly binge watching strictly - not very likely!!
I don;t need to watch him 24/7 to know his likes and dislikes.

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 10/09/2018 19:38

Dh has no way of accessing it...well not without me seeing at any rate

So im fairly sure he isn't interested in it

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 10/09/2018 19:39

If i was asked I'd say i was 100% sure

fantasmasgoria1 · 10/09/2018 19:55

My fiancé doesn’t watch it. People on here say he probably does and I’m in denial basically! We have discussed it and he said he doesn’t enjoy it! He watched it a bit when younger but he would rather have the real thing.

PhilomenaButterfly · 10/09/2018 19:57

I'm thinking of Avenue Q - The Internet is for Porn.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 10/09/2018 20:22

That's an odd thing to say rufus. Are you two never apart then?

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 10/09/2018 20:26

Also, saying 'I would rather have the real thing' is a silly and meaningless thing to say. Generally, masturbating to porn (books, films, internet, whatever) doesn't replace actual sex, it's just a means to an end when one wants a quick no strings orgasm in private. It's really none of the partner's business.

Pebblespony · 10/09/2018 20:26

I couldn't be 100% sure my DH doesn't. However, I am 100% sure that I do.

Ragwort · 10/09/2018 20:30

I know my dh better than anyone - I am sure everyone thinks they know their own DH better than anyone - but no one can genuinely know everything about their husband or partner. Look at the threads on here when women are totally shocked at finding out their 'perfect, family loving' DH has been having an affair.

Unless you are with someone 24/7 you cannot possibly know if they are using porn or not, they may have access to another social media account you have no knowledge of so you can't do a search, they must just buy an old fashioned porn mag (do they still exist?) when they are out and about. I don't know if my DH uses porn, it is certainly something we have never discussed, there is no 'evidence' that he uses it but I genuinely don't know if he does when he is away from home on business for example.

Fatted · 10/09/2018 20:32

I think a lot of people probably assume that your DP is just telling you what you want to hear them say about it.

I know a woman who told me their DP would never go to a strip club. Yet I know for a fact that he did and there are photos to prove it.

You know your DP better than most. You know your relationship better than most. Others may judge, but really you shouldn't let that bother you.

madeoficecream · 10/09/2018 20:39

Id be completely fine with it if it were run of the mill couples having sex where it appeared consensual. And as long as I did not feel it was interfering with our sex life. Im not really in to it myself. I think ive looked at some a handful of times in my life.
Id probably not mind a bit of S&M type stuff either as long as it was clear that it had been arranged and was consensual...

I would have a serious problem with my partner wanking over very young women or women who genuinely appeared to be drugged or not in to it in any way. Id have a problem if it seemed compulsive and he had to use it to get aroused. Id have a problem with it if he did not seem to want to have actual sex because of how much porn he was viewing.

Its theoretical anyway because my husband is genuinely not fussed by it. I asked him about it and he said when he was single for a while hed had a few pics he likes of a redheaded model that he used to wank over.

I really dont think he has any porn habit to be honest. Neither do I. Perhaps once a year I might read a sexy story lol and thats about it! Id imagine hes similar... we are just very busy and tired and have two children under 4 and are no longer in our twenties.... only manage to have sex a couple of times a week now days!

Would be extremely surprised if he were hiding some mammoth porn addiction! I dont know when he would fit that in, and how he would hide it?

DelurkingAJ · 10/09/2018 20:40

I file this one under ‘gross generalisation’ along with ‘all women dye their hair’ etc. Agree that you can never be certain but meh, I’m as sure as my DH is that I don’t.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 10/09/2018 20:50

So all you people convinced your partners never look at porn- do you think they never wank either?

Oblomov18 · 10/09/2018 20:55

I don't know why people find it so hard to believe that other people: men AND women don't watch porn. I don't. Doesn't really float my boat'.

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 10/09/2018 20:58

I just mean that he doesn't have any private access to porn sites

He could have dvds I guess...but i doubt it

He could be watching it constantly without my knowledge Grin

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 10/09/2018 20:59

Of course he wanks

I never understand that bit...cant men wank without porn

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 10/09/2018 21:01

I dunno when he’d have the time. We’re either commuting, working, pottering round the house, eating, sitting on the sofa, exercising or in bed.

He’d have to be quick Wink

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 10/09/2018 21:02

under

I reckon dh is quick...

AntiHop · 10/09/2018 21:05

I've had people disbelieve me when I've said that about dp.

I know my dp doesn't watch porn as, like me, he believes it is sexist, mostly violent, and therefore not sexy. You might say I don't know for sure that he's lying but why would he? Should I disbelieve him when he tells me his has left wing political views and votes for the Green party? Views on porn are political views.

BonnieF · 10/09/2018 21:08

If a man knows his partner dislikes or disapproves of porn, he is hardly likely to admit to watching it, now is he?

Given the scale of audiences for the big porn sites (Pornhub is one of the most popular sites on the web), it’s a bit naive to think that everyone else’s partner is looking at porn, but your own isn’t.