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Original poster

My house is alive.

59 replies

Scrowy · 09/09/2018 22:34

For context It's a very, very, very old house. It has forgotten cellars and boarded up secret passageways and basically things are living and breeding in it at unprecedented levels.

I can deal with the massive spiders, everyone gets those don't they? I admit to being slightly displeased about the one that ran past my lips and over my pillow at 4am this morning. I wasn't overly enamoured about the one that found its way into my wet hair via my (freshly laundered and folded) towel the other day either.

But we also seem to have a massive infestation of black beetles. They don't half make a racket as they scuttle across some paperwork or packets in the kitchen cupboards. They are making a tail across the carpet from the (listed and therefore untouchable) oak panelling

Then there's the slugs. They seem to apparate from every wall and skirting-board during the night leaving their silvery trails. I made the mistake of venturing downstairs in the small hours of the morning earlier in the week and I am not joking when I say there was a slug fir each kitchen floor tile.

We then move on to the rats in the attic. They are all dead now but before they partook in the (extremely fast acting) poison they seemed to be in training for the ratty Olympics. One pairing had a nest right above the toilet and would go wild every time someone flushed.

Then there's the flies because of the -billions of-- dead rats in the attic. I have fly strips in and they were all full within 24 hours and no noticable reduction in actual fly numbers.

Then there is the tiny deceased newt I found curled up in a gap between the carpet/doorframe/skirting board when vacuuming on Friday, and the very fat field mouse dead in the mouse trap in the cupboard next to the washing machine that houses the outlet pipe. Presumably looking for it's sadly deceased friends of weeks gone by.

I'm pretty much flinching at every single noise wondering what's going to scuttle across the floor in front of me.

Just needed to share... because I'm too scared to go to bed and close my eyes after hearing scuttling noises in the bedroom last night

Grin
OP posts:
FantastikRik · 09/09/2018 23:34

I was doing ok until you mentioned the woodlice.

I’m not sure how you sleep at night OP Envy

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 09/09/2018 23:39

FGS get your attic cleared! Pay someone to do it if you can't face it yourself (I couldn't). You are going to have bluebottles and maggots, oh I can't even.... You need to deal with that!

MarcieBluebell · 09/09/2018 23:40

Nope. Nope. Nope. Shudders.

OhNoGroken · 09/09/2018 23:41

I live in a Tudor house. Whilst there are certainly more than a reasonable amount of nooks and crannies here and we do have a few spiders, odd cellar mushroom and the occasional rat (they dont last long!) it sounds like this is all down to poor upkeep to be honest - Untreated woodworm and beetles can cause structural damage. Remove the decaying rat corpses and you won’t have flies. Erm, don’t leave piles of damp laundry about. Make sure you have enough ventilation and appropriate materials are used to allow the original structure to ‘breathe’ and you won’t have as many damp-associated issues.

Blameanamechange · 09/09/2018 23:42

Will you ever sleep again OP? What a nightmare. As dp has lived there years I presume he is the farmer and you have moved in with him? I couldn't live like that no matter how in love or wonderful the dp was! You are either brave or crazy. If you're not sleeping then prob cGrinrazy Grin

ana18 · 09/09/2018 23:45

I couldn't live there ! I panic if I see one spider a year

Imknackeredzzz · 09/09/2018 23:45

U need to get the attic sorted!!! You can’t just leave decomposing rat carcasses up there! Trust me it’ll get far worse if you don’t- if that were possible!

Pay someone if needed!

Blameanamechange · 09/09/2018 23:48

It must be big if there are boarded up secret passages I would have to know about them if I lived there ( but I wouldn't live there ) At least you don't have Gliss-gliss living in your attic. They are similar to squirrels and are protected so you can't get rid if them. Someone always worse off than you......Grin

anotheroneofthattype · 09/09/2018 23:50

Op you'll be immune to the smell of the rats most likely. But you're house will be minging.

If you get rid of the dead, decomposing rats the flies will go. My god you'll end up with maggots falling through cracks onto your face when you sleep at night!!

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 10/09/2018 00:07

@anotheroneofthattype I'm so glad I checked back to this thread just before heading to bed because that image won't stay with me all night, no sir.

SarahBeeney · 10/09/2018 00:10

Those horses are brilliant 😀🐴

Dobbythesockelf · 10/09/2018 00:17

You are going to leave rats to decompose in your attic?? Surely it will stink? I can cope with bugs but rotting carcasses are another level of horrible.

Original poster
Scrowy · 10/09/2018 00:17

Even if we could easily get into the attic (we can't without sending a small child up there first to move unknown objects blocking the other larger entrance at the other side of the house, and none of the ones we have available to us are willing) it wouldn't solve the problem that the rats were getting into the attic through the walls and via boxed in beams and long bricked up/boarded up areas. Short of demolishing a listed building we probably will never actually be able to get to every dead rat anyway.

The rats are hopefully a one off problem due to a nearby area being developed and displacing them this summer. This is the first time since I've been here we have had to put poison down and DP or his parents who used to live here don't remember it ever being this bad before.

It's a huge house (we are farm tenants so don't own it) and we use less than half the rooms.

I grew up in a similar house and I'm not squeamish about these things individually. I know I've been making a joke of it all here but I've genuinely become quite paranoid and keep thinking I've seen something move out of the corner of my eye. It's very unsettling.

OP posts:
HumphreyCobblers · 10/09/2018 06:12

I did actually experience maggots raining down on my bed through a gap in the ceiling , after poisoning a mouse. I had a thread about it at the time which caused near universal horror.

QOFE · 10/09/2018 06:58

Oh gawd OP you have my sympathy Flowers

I live in a similar house. We've had toads and slowworms in the kitchen of a morning before now, bats occasionally come in and fly around the house, on one memorable occasion a crow entered through the cat flap (shunned by the bloody cat, only ever used by local wildlife) and scared me half to death when I almost walked into it eating the cat biscuits while the cat glared from the other side of the room, rats running happily and unstoppable through the 2 foot thick rubble filled walls, a maggot once landed in my morning fucking coffee after a poisoning session.

People with normal houses don't get it. You can't just "clear the attic" or "get rid of the rats". It's not really that simple...

AltheaorDonna · 10/09/2018 07:14

Bloody hell! My mum got rats in her house and once Rentokil had done their worst the upstairs of their house stank for months (Ratty died in an unaccessible part of the attic). My mum was so grossed out by the smell she seriously considered selling the house, dead rat and all!

I'd rather live in a tent than live like that!

TheMythicalChicken · 10/09/2018 07:21

My house is very old. When I moved in we had ants, rats, cockroaches and massive spiders (Southern Hemisphere). We don’t have any of those things now.

They come in for a reason (food or cardboard in the case of rats, for example), so you need to remove those reasons. Also research essential oils that those creatures hate the smell of and spritz the house every night.

Saggital · 10/09/2018 07:28

You need to breed some boys. Several of them. They can do terrible things to little animals. The exodus will begin.

QOFE · 10/09/2018 07:55

Rats come in for shelter and warmth too so actually unless you remove the roof and walls and stop heating the place you can't prevent that being an attraction! I don't think a rat has ever come actually inside our house, they aren't able to access the kitchen for example but it's actually impossible to stop them getting inside the walls and under the floors. We lay poison in rooms and under floors and the stuff in rooms never gets taken whereas the stuff under the floors does - which just proves my point.

Womaningreen · 10/09/2018 08:58

wow
when I clicked on this, I knew it would be either music Grin or insects

but I was not expecting quite so many critters!!

isn't the landlord responsible for helping clear some of them out? I like nature...but.....!

Talith · 10/09/2018 09:07

Crikey it sounds unfit to inhabit and makes me think of as Life of Grime (I'm sure it's not that bad!).

Maggoty rats with swarms of flies in the attic must reek. I thought my Victorian terrace was bad being a bit spidery and sluggy at times... I didn't know it got that bad and that it's considered normal!

themagicamulet · 10/09/2018 09:38

Omg OP. I have no words...

themagicamulet · 10/09/2018 09:46

Sheep - I love those photos! But presumably not your horse?!

themagicamulet · 10/09/2018 09:50

I grew up in a spidery mousey old house in the country with slugs and newts in the kitchen (and ice on the inside of the windows in the winter!) but nothing like that. I do remember it being an ongoing battle - you could never relax. 17 mice in traps in one night in the kitchen was particularly menorable. So you have my sympathy OP, and recognition that there isn't really a solution!

LadyR77 · 10/09/2018 10:20

Jesus. This thread has made me feel queasy! I just couldn't cope with any of that. Nope.