DD's swimming lesson didn't go so well. Have I misunderstood Stage 1?

[Eastie77]

DD (just turned 5) had her first swimming lesson today, a Stage 1 class. I spoke with the leisure centre before booking and explained that she is a non-swimmer who is nervous in water and was told that is fine - Stage 1 is the right level for her. There were 4 other children so a nice small size. At the start of the lesson the teacher told everyone to get in. All 4 children turned around and slid in. DD sat on the side, very scared, and wouldn't get in. The teacher clicked her fingers and said "come on, in you get". When DD didn't comply the teacher carried on teaching the other 4 and I spent the best part of 40mins coaxing DD to get in. I managed to get her kind of halfway down the stairs leading into the pool and just before the lesson ended she finally stood up and let go of the side. Meanwhile the class continued with the other kids using Doodle's, going underwater etc. The teacher did not acknowledge DD during this time except on one occasions when she looked over and said "You need to get in the pool".

So firstly: in no way did I expect the teacher to devote time to just helping DD when she had 4 other pupils but am I BU in expecting a little bit more encouragement from her?

Secondly, it feels as if I need to get DD confident in the water otherwise these classes are not going to work so I'm looking at a booking a couple of private lessons to help with that. But I'm wondering if I've misunderstood Stage 1 since the kids in the class today were already able to jump/slide in, float on their bag with the Doodle and dive under water to pick up objects. I understand they may have already had a few lessons but wondering if in fact I should bother continuing until she overcomes her fear of water? It doesn't feel as if this 'Stage 1' class is geared up to help her with that.

The brusque teacher today announced it is her final week and a new teacher is starting next week so I will also try and see if DD gets more help with him/her.

Hi op swimming teacher here; certain schools may do things differently and set there stages differently.

My swim school we teach in the water with them. We have no more than 5 in stage 1 and each student is helped into the water, given a woogle or noddle as they are known as. I would go through everyone’s name introduce myself and do the news this helps break the ice and help calm nerves. We would then practice blowing bubbles, kicking our legs for swimming on our front going to face in the water, hiding our ears for backstroke this would be build up through the session in a fun way. We often go looking for the mermaid where the children are encouraged to jump in and see the mermaid to help build water confidence. At the end of the session we play the game water fall again this involves everyone kicking there legs to create a waterfall and we take each child through the waterfall. In no way would I ever ignore a child. I’m really sorry you experienced this. It’s quite normal for children to feel nervous even when they move up stages I had one girl very upset from moving up from stage 2 to 3 but it’s how the instructor deals with it. Look at round and see which school best fits your child. We had children come from other schools and have progressed a lot further due to our teaching style.

Mine did aquatots before stage 1 - they were already expecting water confidence by stage 1.

Feel free to give me a message op, I would happy give you advice and suggestions to help build water confidence.

If this is their "beginners" class totally reasonable to put your beginner in it and expect a bit of help. There's a stage 1 class after DD's and I often see the teacher coaxing nervous kids to have a go, it takes minimal time out of the lesson, and it's usually only a week or two till they're confidently getting their faces wet and kicking around with a pool noodle. One child though only got as far as dangling feet in for several weeks, they were encouraged but not at the cost of the lesson. The amount of time encouraging was still less than the time the other kids spent swimming with 1:1 attention so don't think anyone has a right to feel hard done by.

Hope new teacher is better, you're not being unreasonable to expect a little friendliness.

DD was always confident in the water but couldn’t actually swim (DH and I joked about putting “reckless beginner” on the forms for her current level when we put her to stage one lessons). It is tricky as stage one covers all non-swimmers and this takes in children like my DD who would fling herself around with no consideration to her safety and children who cry before they even get in.

I signed DD up for stage one intensive lessons in the Easter holidays - there were six of them, two “reckless beginners” including my daughter and 4 boys who cried when asked to put their faces in the water. The first lesson was a bit of a write off as the instructor did her best to keep the attention of the two confident ones whilst cajoling the nervous children. But straight after the lesson the instructor called me over and said she had another stage one class where my DD would be better suited so we moved to that slot instead. Perhaps worth an ask if there is a group of more cautious children your DD could be placed with OP?

In your postition though, I would quit the lessons and start taking your DD to the pool at least once a week. DS is naturally nervous in the water and although he was old enough to go to lessons when I sent DD, I knew they would just put him off further, as demands would be made of him that he wasn’t ready for. My mum and I started taking him once a week without fail, initially just getting him to be in the pool without being a limpet, then throwing and catching toys, then splashing, kicking, using the slide, putting his face under etc. All at his pace. We’re currently working on putting his whole head in - he did it for one session a couple of weeks ago and has since refused, which has acutally been the pattern with most of his achievements in the water. I think he will be ready to start lessons next summer. (He can actually swim with a pool noodle now, which is better than DD was before she started lessons, but I know he’s still not confident enough for lessons and would be frightened off if we sent him now.) It has been so good to watch his confidence grow and now he loves going to the pool instead of being scared.

I personally don't think the class is quite right for your DD.

My son is nearly 5 and has spent the past year doing Duckling 1-3 and Stage 1 award, all in the same Foundation class. He's just moved up to Stage 2, and it's a big jump, no arm bands and doing strokes, seated dives etc. The Foundation class is aimed at complete beginners and is very softly softly for nervous swimmers.

I don't think I would have been comfortable starting him in a Stage 1 class and would suggest Ducklings for her initially to build her confidence. I don't think she would be too old for this, my son had children from 3-6 in his class.

We do the Becky Adlington Swim Stars programme rather than a leisure centre. It's not cheap, but I liked there was 6 max in a class and a teacher always in the water.

They do duckling awards before stage one at our pool. They are all about water confidence and entering the water.

The teacher sounds awful, possibly because she's leaving and isn't prepared to make an effort. Does she get in the pool readily whilst swimming with you then just froze because you weren't with her? Or do you not take her? If she's normally fine in the water then give the new teacher a try next week. If she's like this because you don't take her swimming, please don't pay somebody else to do this..... getting a child confident in the water is a parent's job, take her to the pool, play and have fun together until she's happy to get in, then try again with the lessons.

babybythesea it’s not that she was nervous in the water, the child wouldn’t even get in the water! That’s a big difference and one that the op did not disclose to them.

Our leisure centre has an additional instructor in the water to give encouragement, a hand into the water, correct technique. You could take her yourself to get her used to jumping in but our leisure centre has pretty much taught my children to swim without any assistance from me as I'm a poor swimmer! That's why I pay them to do it.

My daughter has just started stage one after doing preschool classes but we also take her swimming at least once a week on top of lessons. She isn't the most confident but can get herself in and out and can swim with the noodle. They're expected to jump in and be a bit independent.

Could you take her a few times to get her more confident.

Op how often do you take her swimming?

My DDs did Duckling before starting stage 1, but they were younger than yours - we started ducklings at 3.5 and by age 5 they were on stage 3. But then we did take them to the pool every week from the time they'd had their first sets of vaccinations so they were already confident. I think you need to spend some time taking your DD to the pool and playing games with her - getting in and out, blowing bubbles with face in the water, kicking around on a noodle, that kind of thing. She's a bit old for ducklings now and probably wouldn't feel comfortable there with much younger children.

DS2 spent his first full session (6 weeks) pretty much sitting at the side of the pool. He would get in at first, he'd walk across the shallow end, but once they started putting their faces in the water and blowing bubbles or even holding the side and kicking, he'd climb right out. The teacher would occasionally simply say "Would you like to join us? No? OK, you just watch". No coaxing or signs of irritation. She told us he'd get there. During one lesson near the end of his second 6 week session he simply stood up, pinched his nose and jumped in the shallow end and bobbed underwater on his own. He rapidly progressed to swimming and finally jumping off the board into the deep end and swimming to the side. He became a very strong swimmer and still loves the water.

Don't rush, don't pressure. Let her watch and move at her own pace. As the teacher told us "she'll get there".

Really don't think you need to pay for private lessons to get her used to the water. I would save my money and simply do the getting used to water but with her myself.

Make going swimming fun. Every little thing these days has to be a 'lesson' or a 'educative experience in a structured way' . I would simply go play with her in the water and come back to lessons when she is happy.

It's not a race. It's about enjoying it and being confident.

Ok thanks for all the responses, very helpful.

I have never heard of Ducklings and didn't see it mentioned in any of the venues that offer swimming classes where we live. They all seem to do Tinytots/Baby & Parent sessions and then on to Stage 1. It sounds like Ducklings would be best for her but DD is 5 now and possibly too old so will probably go for the private 1-1.

I took DD to the pool from 6 months old until about 2 and then it tailed off a bit due to work, DS arrival etc. I probably haven't taken her enough in order for her to get used to a pool so point taken. In Wales on holiday 2 weeks ago she took a day to feel confident enough to walk into the pool but then did so.

@Snappedandfarted2018 - thanks, that is exactly what I was expecting from the lesson today. However the teacher did not introduce herself, ask any questions about DD and there was no kind of warm up (toes in the water etc) prior to telling everyone to get in. This is why I thought I must have 'missed' a stage except the swimming coordinater told me that this was the right stage for nervous kids who cannot swim, float etc and are scared of getting in. Had the coordinater suggested it (as a PP has) I would have chosen a session with other children lacking in confidence. There are 5 stage 1 classes a week.

I definitely did not expect the teacher to spend 30 or even 10 mins coaxing DD. I would totally be annoyed if I was the parent of the the other 4 kids and that happened. However I thought she might try to verbally encourage her, acknowledge the situation or pop over at the end of the session with advice even if it was to tell me DD is not suited. Nada. When she told me she would not be teaching next week I said I'll bring DD again and see if she feels more confident and she nodded wordlessly.

After the lesson DD went to the main pool that has a beach entry type entrance and happily splashed in the shallow bit for an hour.

My neighbour has kindly offered to come along to a splash about with her DD (stage 5) who is good friends with DD to help build up her enjoyment and hopefully confidence.

@offtocornwall sorry cross-post. I think 1-1 is best as she will have her confidence built up by an expert. I don't know if just going in with me will be sufficient? I lack patience. I fumed when she wouldn't put her face in the water after 30mins of coaxing when we were on hols. I just don't think I will be able to really get her confidence up, she picks up on my irritation and starts to cry/whimper.

I think when you told the leisure centre your DD was nervous in the water, they might have assumed she didn't want to get splashed or put her head under etc or just a bit shy, maybe nervous of letting go of the side. It sounds like your DD wasn't nervous IN the water but your DD is actually too frightened to even get in. That's probably a bit above what a group teacher is able to deal with effectively with 4 additional children all paying to learn.

I would try the new teacher (maybe try to come early and get a look at the teaching style of the other teachers). At our leisure centre they mix up the groups they teach although the Stage 1 and 2 teachers tend to stick with the lower stages. However, I honestly wouldn't have enrolled a child too frightened to even get in the pool into group lessons. Even with lots of encouragement from the teacher, they do have to teach the others so you're paying a lot of money for not a lot. I would use all the advice above to help your DD get in the pool to be more ready for the lessons.

I find that the lessons do look a bit harsh though as the teacher is teaching the whole syllabus to kids starting at all points. So the ones at the top of the group need to secure the skill to go up, at the same time there's middle ones practising the skill and the new ones just need to give it a good go despite never doing it before. It can seem like they're thrown in the deep end in a bit when they start (obviously not literally!!). It's most apparent at the lower stages and I was petrified of DD moving up to Stage 3 as I honestly thought she'd drown swimming 25m right to the deep end.

DD didn't start swimming until she was 6.5yo (in a Stage 2 class for older kids, so in the main pool) and she's now just about to move up to Stage 7, 2.5 years later. It might be worth asking around for leisure centres that do the early stages for older kids, in case it's worth gently working up to it if she's not ready yet.

It sounds like it’s not the right swim school you op,they are plenty of them out there that are experienced with nervous swimmers and would engage them in an appropriate way. Where abouts are you based? We teach plenty of stage 1 who are not water confident and nervous and it’s very common especially if they can’t touch the floor. My own dd is stage 1 at the moment and is doing well. Don’t listen to posters who say she’s not ready yet it’s about finding the school that’s best for her.

Sorry posted at the same time as your update.

I would do exactly as you've suggested, get her going into the pool with her, no need to push anything else, just get her in the water. Then do some 1-2-1 lessons to build her up to a confident Stage 1 start, so she can go back to group lessons if you want, but she's already done some of those skills, so she's middle of the group level rather than beginner.

I think you need to take her yourself to get her used to the water. If she hasn't been much for years I think expecting her to get into the water with a stranger was way too much!

Having said that - my own DD started swimming late and the beginners used to have a helper as well as the teacher. It was quite common to see children in that section not want to get into the water and they were not forced, but they would keep checking during the lesson. Often about 10 mins before the end the child would venture down the steps and the helper or teacher would hold them. Something like that would be better.

During the school holidays and half-terms, try looking for a crash course for swimming - my DD did them even when she wasn't having lessons and enjoyed them. Hers was a one-to-one.

At my local leisure centre there always seems to be at least 2 teachers/helpers in the pool. One teacher seems quite a stretch for a beginners class so on that basis alone, it doesn’t seem right for your daughter if she isn’t confident in the water. The problem seems to be the range of abilities in that sort of ‘beginner’ class. If the other kids have been doing waterbabies/ducklings etc and are ready to progress to proper swimming lessons there will be a vast difference in water confidence. My 2 year old is very confident and I suspect she’d be able to swim a little way independently by 3. Her needs in a stage 1 class when she gets there will be quite different to a total beginner. It seems a bit unfair to put anxious kids in with the ones that will be dive bombing in given half the chance. It may be naive of me but it would seem fairer if the leisure centre had separate groups for total beginners versus more confident kids. The latter will surely need a bit more kindness and attention at the start and not an expectation that they’ll just be able to do what the stronger ones can.

Sorry, drip feed, there was a helper/another teacher. She stood on the other side of the pool and smiled over at us but did not come over to help either.

I didn't realise DD would be too scared to even get in as she has previously and quite recently got into a pool. I was a bit thrown when she would not step in even when she saw how shallow it was. We also talked about the lessons at lot before and she was excited about them. I also showed her the teaching pool beforehand.

There was another mum standing poolside and she said if DD has not got in by lesson 3 then she should just get a dose of shock therapy and be forcibly placed in. Apparently this worked for her DD who was "traumatised at first but it was the only way to get over her fear and look at her now" (her DD was confidently diving under water)

My 3yo has just done her first lessons. She wasn't really ready tbh and physically she struggled compared to the others. The teacher told them to get in and started taking the other kids across. By the time it was dd's turn she'd just about got in I wouldn't have expected them all to wait for her, you can't in a group lesson.

I don’t know what Stage 1 is meant to be like but my experience wasn’t good.
I took DS to swimming lessons (for 2 terms) beginning when he was almost 5 and we were still living in the U.K. I really wasn’t impressed by the set up.
The teachers in all 4 groups at the pool all stood on the side and didn’t actually get in the water for a start. I found that really odd but none of the other parents seemed bothered so I went along with it. DS obviously didn’t enjoy them and only went because a friend from school was in the same group. I’m an ok swimmer and learnt at school when I was about 8 so I’ve never had formal lessons as such.

When we moved to Ireland, I booked him for swimming lessons in our local tiny leasure pool with his school friend. The difference was chalk and cheese. The teachers all got in the water with their groups, lessons lasted 35 minutes with a further 10 minutes ‘play time’ at the end where extra toys are thrown in the pool and the groups can mingle. Non swimmers have to wear arm bands during ‘play time’. All the teachers stay in the water during play time and join in with the splashy fun.
DS is dyspraxic so not sporty at all but he loves his swimming lessons and I’m really impressed with how good he is at going underwater and holding his breath. His swimming style isn’t so great but that’s definitely related to the dyspraxia.

OP, I think if you’re not happy with their style of teaching, definitely look for another group that’s more welcoming with the emphasis on fun rather than box ticking.