DD's swimming lesson didn't go so well. Have I misunderstood Stage 1?

[Eastie77]

DD (just turned 5) had her first swimming lesson today, a Stage 1 class. I spoke with the leisure centre before booking and explained that she is a non-swimmer who is nervous in water and was told that is fine - Stage 1 is the right level for her. There were 4 other children so a nice small size. At the start of the lesson the teacher told everyone to get in. All 4 children turned around and slid in. DD sat on the side, very scared, and wouldn't get in. The teacher clicked her fingers and said "come on, in you get". When DD didn't comply the teacher carried on teaching the other 4 and I spent the best part of 40mins coaxing DD to get in. I managed to get her kind of halfway down the stairs leading into the pool and just before the lesson ended she finally stood up and let go of the side. Meanwhile the class continued with the other kids using Doodle's, going underwater etc. The teacher did not acknowledge DD during this time except on one occasions when she looked over and said "You need to get in the pool".

So firstly: in no way did I expect the teacher to devote time to just helping DD when she had 4 other pupils but am I BU in expecting a little bit more encouragement from her?

Secondly, it feels as if I need to get DD confident in the water otherwise these classes are not going to work so I'm looking at a booking a couple of private lessons to help with that. But I'm wondering if I've misunderstood Stage 1 since the kids in the class today were already able to jump/slide in, float on their bag with the Doodle and dive under water to pick up objects. I understand they may have already had a few lessons but wondering if in fact I should bother continuing until she overcomes her fear of water? It doesn't feel as if this 'Stage 1' class is geared up to help her with that.

The brusque teacher today announced it is her final week and a new teacher is starting next week so I will also try and see if DD gets more help with him/her.

My dc is in stage one and i've found that their class focuses on aiming to get to unaided swimming rather than just teaching water confidence. Ducklings is more where your daughter needs to be although at her age maybe private lessons would be best. There's no way that the instructor could focus on getting your daughter into the water whilst also teaching the other children. I would remove her from the class as she doesn't seem ready, get some private lessons to deal with her fear of water and try again with stage one when she seems more ready.

Swimming is a life skill but you need to put in a bit of effort in order for lessons to be effective.

You should take your child to the pool at least once a week in order for them get used to the water.

They will then be able to use the lessons to actually learn to swim.

Stage 1 here we have a lot of ‘beginners’ the teacher usually has a couple of teenagers in the water with her & they encourage the reluctant ones in, hold them, make them comfortable and confident. However, if the girls aren’t there then she will do that whilst teaching the others too. It’s stage 1. You know, the place to start, so any twat complaining about a non swimmer in the group would get told to stop being ridiculous.

See how it goes with the new teacher, the other one sounds mean. If she does the same thing, then talk to the Centre because they said it was suitable for a non swimmer, but your DD isn’t being taught. Being taught starts with getting them into the pool, not learning strokes.

Ofcourse the teacher couldn’t have spent the half hour coaxing your dd into the pool. She should have given the other parents tasks to do and assisted your dd to get in and talked to you about the situation.

Idk if I’d go back before speaking to the leisure centre staff first. Preferably a supervisor/manager. Did you explain your dd was nervous of the water before you booked the classes? I would complain.

isn't there a pre-stage 1 when you get in the water with them?

mine didn't move to stage 1 until they were happy going under in the water, gliding under water etc..

lessons are expensive. personally i think the teacher did the right thing - sometimes if dcs are scared the more fuss you make the less likely they are to get in. You need to make sure she is at least happy to get in before signing her up for group swimming lessons.

A 5 year old wouldn’t be allowed to go to the preschool classes at our pool. But it’s worth checking out.

I think you are both in the wrong.

It's your responsibility to make sure your child will get in to the water and she should have been taken lots before turning 5.

But the teacher being so short with her won't encourage anyone in getting in the pool. I would be speaking to whoever oversees the lessons and seeing what they suggest.

Sounds like the class was misold to you if there's an expectation before she can start.

I think your expectations were a bit unrealistic. There’s a massive difference between lacking in confidence and not even getting in the water. I think you should look at lessons we’re you get in with her.

Stage 1 covers quite a range, and some of those kids will have been in that lesson for weeks. It's beginners swim skills... But it's not really beginners to water. You need to take her to the pool yourself and get her in the water. Buy a ring, float her around the pool. Get her comfy in it. Then they can start teaching the 1st stage of swimming.

My DGC have attended swimming lessons at the local pool and it was very like your experience. From the first lesson the teacher expected them all to go into the water by themselves and they used floats and put their heads under water, walked across the pool alone etc.

There was one teacher for up to 10 children and one life guard and no cajoling and children were moved up levels as soon as they were able and not en masse, some children needed longer to complete each level.

Has she never been swimming at all? You need to maybe take her yourself a bit first. Was there no one else poolside to help out? In DS's classes there's someone there to assist in that sort of situation ie someone who isn't actively teaching a class.

If she's that terrified of water and the pool then cancel the lessons for now.

My DD2 was the same. It was utterly pointless trying to teach her until she was comfortable in water and getting her face and head wet. Although I could get her in the pool she hated the noise, the splashing etc and it wasn't until she was 9 that she stopped screeching about going in a shower.

So at 9 she asked to learn to swim and I booked her in and she was ready. Two years later she had finished every level, could swim 3 miles in the pool and now nearly 13 is a rookie lifeguard.

Go at her pace and work on water confidence. Make it fun otherwise you'll put her off swimming for life.

1 teacher to 10 children sounds unsafe

The thing is, the teacher's manner was unfortunate but she was probably technically in the right so the centre will back her or give a "sorry you feel that way" nonpology.

DD1 did Stage 0 from 5 mos to about 2y10m and then moved into S1. Her S0 teacher had been lovely but the S1 teacher we called The Shark (not in front of DD) as she never smiled and had dead, dead eyes. Thankfully she rotated out of that class and there is a new lovely young man there.

"feels as if I need to get DD confident in the water "

yup! I think you have figured this one out for yourself.

I am neutral on whether the Stage1 teacher could have done anything else; some kids need to be pushed out of their comfort zones. It's a vote of confidence, really, of course they can do this.

Both mine started stage 1 at 3, DD1 had done waterbabies but DD2 hadn’t done any form of lessons (I had taken her swimming a lot though). They did go straight in to swimming up and down with the aid of noodles, putting their face under and practising their breathing, jumping in etc so it does sound typical of a stage 1 lesson IME.
I would have expected the teacher to spend a bit of time encouraging her into the water, although I obviously not too much as she had a class to each.

I think you need to get her used to the water and teach her the preschool skills or put her in one-to-one lessons first. I think a timid child who has some experience in the water, or a confident child who has never been in the water could catch up quickly, but I don't think your child sounds ready for school aged group lessons just yet.

Ours do Beginners > Stage 1 and wouldn't put a total non swimmer straight into stage 1... hell DD2 still hasn't made it into stage 1 after a few terms of lessons (but she has coordination and core strength problems)

I do see what people are saying about your Dd needing to be confident in the water already, and I agree. But you specifically phoned and asked the leisure centre beforehand, and got told it was fine and designed for people like your Dd. They can't have it both ways - tell you it's fine for children who are nervous in water, and then do nothing to help her.
Whatever the other parents think isn't your concern - you were told it was the appropriate place to be by people who should know.
I do think you need one to one, whether lessons or with you, to build up her confidence, but I would also go back to the leisure centre and query what they told you, and get them to explain what they want - either that it's not the place for her, or what they will do to help her.

Has she ever been in a pool before?

Our local ones do sessions in the toddler pool with loads floats etc thrown in and its a bit of a free for all. Something like this may build up her confidence in water 1st?

Stage 1 is for water confidence and getting to 5mtrs without aid. How long did you leave your child with teacher before you tried cajoling it sounds like you did not go away at all. You need to leave the area somewhere perhaps you can see her but she can’t see you. Have a pack of tissues ready for your tears. Your child may be left for a while but the teacher will be asking if she wants to join in and trying to coax in but it’s meant to be fun and relaxed. Once other children have started moving and get going you should find teacher wil try coAxing more taking hand or picking up. The main point is you need to step back. Go back and keep trying xx

I have to say I always cringe when such nervous children join the beginners class as the teachers tend to devote the entire lesson to that child alone, so I’m not going to be too judgemental against the teacher as it’s good to see she understood that the parents of the more confident children had also paid.

Personally I would have a word with the new teacher but also try abd twke your daughter swimming alone so you can get her used to the water outside of he swimming lessons.

My kids swim teacher would probably be described as 'brusque', but actually she's an utter gem and amazing teacher.

At Stage 1, our swim school would assume kids have done the Duckling stages too, so they'd be confident in the water, able to float etc, but still 'beginners'

I think water confident is a huge chunk of it, and lessons are a bit of a waste if they're not confidence. There was a Mum who brought her son to the same class as my kids, and he spend about 6 weeks on the side refusing to get in. I'd have been cheesed off if the teacher had spent her time encouraging him, instead of teacher the others. The Mum eventually stopped coming, but I've recently seen her back and the kid is doing well.

I wouldn't stress too much about lessons at the moment, just go to the pool and make it fun.

Its absolutely fine - apart from her being a bit brusque she isnt supposed to spend the lesson coaxing your dd in the pool. You need to do this yourself before you go.

Are you in Scotland by any chance OP? Ours do swim skills level 1-3, and by the end of level 1 they have to swim 10m of front and back crawl unaided without stopping, amongst other things. They would expect all children to be able to enter the pool, not necessarily by jumping in, but it wouldn’t be fair on others to spend time trying to get one child just to enter the water- the lessons are only 30 mins long. I’d ask if there’s water confidence she could attend instead, I know our council runs them during school holidays, and try taking her yourself and making it fun.