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Original poster

Sorry, another would you leave DC home thread!

33 replies

Serendipity09 · 09/09/2018 10:58

Two DS's age 19 and almost 15.
We're going to France for 3 nights. 19 year old doesn't want to come, that's fine, he's stayed home while we've been on short breaks past couple of years.
But 14 year old wants to stay with him this time.
I'm in two minds. They are sensible boys, probably just sleep, eat and play video games to be honest! Grandparents 15 mins away who will pop in etc. Fab neighbours who they could call on.
But leaving a 14 year old for 3 nights while I leave the country is playing on my mind!
Would you??!

OP posts:
Bippitybo · 09/09/2018 10:59

I would

Butterymuffin · 09/09/2018 11:00

I probably would given there's two of them and help nearby. Be clear about what's not allowed (parties).

kaytee87 · 09/09/2018 11:13

No I wouldn't leave a 14yo home alone while i was in a different country. A teenage sibling isn't enough supervision.

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AspieHere · 09/09/2018 11:34

I'd be concerned the 19 year old would be off doing his own thing and the 14 year old will be left alone. On that basis I wouldn't do it. Can the 14 year old not stay with GPs?

comedycentral · 09/09/2018 11:36

Leaving a 14 year old with a 19 year old grown man sounds fine to me. Especially with grandparents close and trusting neighbours. It sounds like you know your boys well. I imagine it's quicker travelling to France than most places in the UK by car...depending on how your travelling of course.

sanssherif · 09/09/2018 11:37

No. 14 too young. At grandparents yes.

booellesmum · 09/09/2018 11:38

You are leaving you 14 year old with an adult and if they are both sensible generally I wouldn't have a problem with this.

colditz · 09/09/2018 11:39

Depends entirely on the 19 year old. I was perfectly fine to care for younglings at 19, and did while my parents were in france.

Some nineteen year olds can't boil an egg without supervision.

Lokisglowstickofdestiny · 09/09/2018 11:40

The biggest risk is the 19 yo leaves his younger brother. How likely is that to happen? Only you know what they are like. If it's very unlikely I don't see a problem leaving an adult in charge.

Original poster
Serendipity09 · 09/09/2018 11:40

Thank you for your replies.
Yes, he could stay with GPs or they would stay here but he doesn't want them to!
I know it depends on the individual child really and in my heart of hearts I know they would be ok together. They are so studious and sensible, it is often me telling them to have more fun! So I know there wouldn't be parties etc. DS (19) often looks after his Dsis who is 8 for a few hours and there have never been any problems there.

Also, I don't feel it would be the older DS looking after the younger DS as he is totally self sufficient and can look after himself. He acts much older so I have to remind myself he's only 14. Which is why I agreed to this in the first place and am now questioning myself!

OP posts:
Original poster
Serendipity09 · 09/09/2018 11:42

19 year old can absolutely be trusted.

Going by Eurostar so not a long trip at all really.

OP posts:
lljkk · 09/09/2018 11:43

I'd tell them they're both to blame if the house burns down or anything else bad happens.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/09/2018 11:45

I wouldn’t - I would be concerned about arguments and the 19yr old doing his own thing

Noboozeforme · 09/09/2018 11:55

You know your own children. Would I do this with my two boys ? Yes, and I have.

PretendIWasNeverHere · 09/09/2018 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Serendipity09 · 09/09/2018 12:08

Grandparents said they think they will be absolutely fine but are happy to stay if we want them to, and will take them out for dinner one of the days.
DH thinks absolutely fine.

OP posts:
VioletCharlotte · 09/09/2018 12:17

I'm sure they'll be fine. They sound like sensible boys who can be trusted and grandparents are near by in case of emergency. All kids are different and you know them best. I wouldn't have left my DS 2 at 14, but that's because he's wasn't v sensible and I wouldn't have felt I could trust him. DS1 would have been fine .

sirfredfredgeorge · 09/09/2018 12:38

What supervision do 14 year olds need exactly?

They need lots of support and help from parents through all sorts of things, but supervision?

Unless you knew specific reasons why it would not be okay for your individual kids, in which you wouldn't be asking - I can't see any reason not leave the brothers there.

chasinggarlic · 09/09/2018 12:42

Depends on the child. My eldest has friends who are the youngest. The parents seem more relaxed about things by then and think nothing of leaving them at 13/14 with siblings of 18/19.

Sometimes it's fine. Sometimes they argue because younger sibling won't listen to older sibling. Sometimes older sibling fucks off and leaves younger to it. And sometimes the older lets the younger have a bunch of friends in, bits then drink and they wreck the place.

A few examples, but as PP, only you know your kids.

reallybadidea · 09/09/2018 12:46

With grandparents 15 minutes away I wouldn't even think twice. I'd probably still leave them without grandparents nearby too!

kaytee87 · 09/09/2018 13:01

What supervision do 14 year olds need exactly?

To stop them having parties, getting drunk etc etc

serbska · 09/09/2018 13:53

I would if they are both happy and will phone you or GPs at the first hint of trouble.

serbska · 09/09/2018 13:55

To stop them having parties, getting drunk etc etc

Not all 14 year olds are wannabe junior delinquents with an army of mates ready to come over with a sound system, booze and drugs.

Stressedoverkids · 09/09/2018 13:55

Yes would do and have done. Grandparents live next door.

Original poster
Serendipity09 · 09/09/2018 13:57

You're right, the only supervision this 14 year old needs is to actually get up at a decent hour at weekends and not to eat too much junk but that's not really going to hurt for one weekend! Not at all worried about the parties thing or getting drunk. Honestly not worried about anything at all really except for the fact I'm leaving 14 year old home for 3 days. But yes, he is with an adult.

OP posts: