How can I help my 10 year old lose weight?

[Kitsandkids]

My 10 year old is gradually piling on the weight. Until he was 7 he was very slim but now he is noticeably big. He doesn't seem bothered though he has said a few times 'I've got a big belly.' I have never mentioned his weight to him.

The thing is, I don't really know what more I can do. We walk 25 minutes to and from school each day. He does Cubs one night a week, a youth club where they play football etc another night, ice skating another night. Swimming at least once a week. On Sundays he does a fairly active hobby for 3 hours.

We eat fairly healthily though do often get a takeaway on a Saturday night. I've put him onto packed lunches (which he wanted) because I suspect he was getting seconds at school dinners.

His brother, a year younger, is absolutely stick thin, so I can't really make the portions smaller as he obviously needs the food! I have noticed when we're out at play parks etc that the younger one will race about while the 10 year old spends more time sitting.

Any suggestions? He has slight SEN and no friends at school and I don't really want it to become something that he could be picked on about. Many thanks.

Do you have a park run or junior park run near you? It's something you can all do and it's free?

I'm in the same situation. Following for ideas. I have just swapped back to school dinners as my DD was getting so picky with packed lunch it was no longer a better option.
I've been advised rather than trying to get her to loose weight to make sure she does not get heavier. Easier said than done!

You can make his portions smaller! Just don’t make them smaller for the other boy.

No snacking.

Stop the takeaway.

It only takes a very small amount of extra calories regularly to out on the weight.

How can I make his portions smaller without making it a big thing? Research etc says don't talk about weight to children or they're more likely to end up with eating disorders. He's the older brother, and they are always comparing to see what each other's got, so it would be very noticeable if I give him less.

I will try to stop the takeaway but they both look forward to it - we usually have it in front of a film or Strictly or BGT or something. But yes, I know that's the obvious thing to do.

He doesn't snack. He honestly doesn't. When at home he has 3 meals and that's it. I don't even give them anything when they get in from school. They wait til dinner to eat. He does get given packets of sweets from relatives so I usually let them have a few sweets after tea as a pudding.

We have been to a Park Run once and he enjoyed it though he cut off a few corners! I will have to make the effort to go there more regularly. It's just hard when his brother is so slim so I'm obviously not giving him too much food!

Give him more protein foods/veg, less carbs. Activity levels I don't really think make much difference, high activity usually makes a person more hungry and they overcompensate. Is he due a growth spurt?

Buy a smaller dinner plate and use that for the him as he shouldn’t then notice the portion change as much. Keep giving the stick thin one the portions you do now.

Get out for even more exercise as a family, i.e bike rides, scooters, the park, Just for a walk. Park run as pp suggested is a great idea

Lose the weekly takeaway, even if you just change it to fortnightly or monthly it would be better. Small changes all add up!

A snack is fine but say it’s veg stick, an apple, pot of yoghurt only. If he is hungry he will eat it or wait until his next meal

I don't agree about not taking to children about weight, yes if your constantly taking about it and you are weird about food it can cause problems but nothing wrong with learning then about healthy choices or getting them to see how much sugar is in things for example.

Just make them smaller little by little. You can be creative by how you present it. Shave a little off here and there.

You have probably just given the answer to the problem. They are comparing their food - presumably the older thinks he needs more? You need to be in charge and educate. My children wouldn’t even think to compare food.

We talk about calories (energy ). The more energy you use, the more energy (calories) you need to eat. If they’ve had a sedentary day, they eat less (or make a point of no treats).

I’m losing weight after it gradually creeping on - just a slice of bread too many a day (c.100 calories) will pile on the weight over time.

I’m determined to educate my children about food - no other area would you not talk about it in order to educate!

What is he drinking? Has he suddenly started drinking fizzy drinks etc instead of water?

If he is genuinely not eating any more than usual, could it be a medical reason (although they probably won't believe you).

I’m in a similar situation with my ds, he is 12 and he does say things about not wanting to be fat.

The thing with him is, that he is a big build - quite tall for his age, firm legs and arms, he seems to be friends with lots of boys who are very small build - much much shorter than him, very slim limbs. My sister commented on a recent photo of him and his best friend that ds looks like a man, where his friend is still a child.

DH was also a big child, but hit puberty, shot up and was very slim. I feel sure that this will happen to ds too.

I don’t want to be ignorant about his weight and do encourage healthy meals, healthy/minimal snacks and plenty of exercise, but like you kits I don’t want to make too much of an issue of it.

It’s very difficult when they are surrounded by hollow legs type friends, who eat 4 rounds of toast followed by cereal, snack constantly and remain slight.

Following with interest.

Might be controversial but I absolutely think that you should talk about weight and health with your children to educate them to make healthy choices. I think that this tip toeing around to avoid eating disorders is a red herring. Statistically most children have a much higher risk or type 2 diabetes and heart disease as a result of bad diet than they are to end up with en eating disorder. I realise I will be flamed but I think your role as a parent is to educate about these things. We talk about healthy choices all the time at home, not necessarily In terms of weight but what is “good for you”. I often say to my ds that one helping is enough, eating to much is not good for your tummy, your teeth or whatever.

Also, I realise I will be flamed but this country is obsessed with snacking and pudding. Pudding were a treat on a Saturday and christmas where I am from. Ditto snacking.

I’m talking as someone who has to watch my weight very very carefully so I’m not sitting on a high horse. If anything I know how hard it is. But more so how vital it is.

How about keeping a food diary of everything he eats and drinks . By that I mean writing it down, weighing everything. Even if it's a biscuit in the evening. Obviously do it out of sight of your son. Then after a few days/week sit down and review it calorie size looking them up as necessary. He seems to be getting plenty of exercise by the sound of it but perhaps little snacks are sneaking in which are forgotten about. There is also the possibility that he is raiding the fridge or cupboard without you knowing or perhaps being given food when he is away from home.

I had a similar issue with my DD 10, slim arms, legs etc but large tummy, had a decent diet, only drinks water and milk, average exercise, I cut down on white bread, potatoes, rice etc and she lost her pot belly within 3 weeks. It seems most of her tummy flab was bloating, certain foods just do not agree with her.

I think you can give him smaller portions than his brother. You don't have to mention his weight, just point out his brother runs around more and therefore needs more food. Park run is a good idea. Could you go out running/cycling with him too? I agree with you not making a big thing of his weight but think discussions about healthy eating and exercise are a good idea.

I definitely agree about talking about healthy food and exercise and we do do that. I just don't want to focus on pointing out that he's fat and I can't see a way of giving him less food than his brother without it coming down to that.

The sweets that he has after tea are in a place he could potentially be raiding so I think I'll move them in case he is.

Thinking about it, at some of his clubs he is encouraged by the leaders to bring money for 'tuck' which is sweets generally. I only give 10-20p whereas most kids get 50p-£1 but even so I might cut it out altogether.

Yesterday he had a bowl of own brand Cheerio type cereal for breakfast, a ham and cheese sandwich on white bread, a portion of cut up pepper, a portion of water melon, a yoghurt pouch for lunch, tomato soup, half a shop bought garlic bread with cheese and some plain popcorn for tea. I don't think that's too bad for a growing 10 year old?

Yesterday he had a bowl of own brand Cheerio type cereal for breakfast, a ham and cheese sandwich on white bread, a portion of cut up pepper, a portion of water melon, a yoghurt pouch for lunch, tomato soup, half a shop bought garlic bread with cheese and some plain popcorn for tea. I don't think that's too bad for a growing 10 year old?

So 2 portions of fruit and tomato soup - was the soup home made or shop bought?
Where's his dinner?

That's not the best diet TBH. This is just my thoughts but

Id get rid of the sugary cereal for breakfast, try porridge or eggs.

Try wholemeal or rye bread if he has to have sandwiches try wholemeal or rye bread. Maybe chicken or tuna rather than processed ham or cheese.

Tinned tomato soup can be full of sugar and garlic bread should be one slice, not half a loaf.

Id try to include more protein too.

When you say a few sweets, do you mean 3 or 4 haribo type or three or four mini bars of chocolate?

That is mostly carbs and no protein and not enough vegetables. Could be have an egg and wholemeal toast for breakfast, a snack of get and a low fat/ low sugar dip. Lunch could be a ham & veg wrap. Evening meal Chicken breast half a jacket pot or baked sweet potato chips with lots of veg or salad.Dessert / Evening snack a banana & yoghurt. Water or diluted fruit juice.

I don't think that's a very healthy diet for a 10yo at all and i have a [pretty relaxed attitude to food.

How is garlic bread with cheese and popcorn a decent dinner for anyone? His diet is full of refined carbs if you add in the cereal and the white bread. I think you need to overhaul the food you eat as a whole family.

To be fair the tea was just something I could put together quickly after we got home from an active hobby. And the popcorn was extra as he'd got it from a relative and I was trying to use it up.

I agree that it's ok to talk about healthy diet and unhealthy eating patterns without making it personal about someone's body size. My 11yo is bigger than I think she should be at the moment, and I'm happy to speak about how we should be gently sated rather than fit to burst after a meal (she has sadly inherited my greedy streak), and how the best meals have lots of lean protein and fresh veg as this is a good way of getting the nutrients needed.

I would also add that I'm trying not to stress too much about it, as at the onset of puberty at 10/11 I've observed a fair few of her friends to gain a little weight, but then go through a growth spurt which evens them out again.

I think the advice with children is not so much for them to lose weight as to not put more on and then they grow into it.
I would suggest sticking to three meals a day, breakfast needs to be healthy which means no sugary cereal, a slice of wholemeal toast with a tiny bit of butter/ spread and an egg (poached, boiled or scrambled) would be good as the protein will fill him up. A low fat (eg the rind cut off) in a no/ low butter sandwich would also be ok, but not too big, again maybe one slice of bread? Will he eat muesli (home made means you can cut out the added sugar (a couple of scoops of oats, a scoop of rye flakes, a scoop of pumpkin seeds and a scoop of sunflower seeds is a good start but you can add or take away as you/ he prefers? Alternatively a small pot of natural yoghurt with a chopped banana and a drizzle of honey is quite nice too?
Think the key is protein so he doesn't feel too hungry.

Lunch, again check sugar content, wraps and sandwiches could be whole meal as they will be more filling, low fat contents eg chicken/ ham/ tuna etc? Add some vegetable sticks and if allowed (sesame allergy) houmous as that's good protein source- you could make your own sesame free of necessary? Or tzatziki would be good? Fruit nice but not vast quantities and if banana for breakfast something else for lunch. Maybe a small cheese portion eg baby bel? I'd avoid crisps, if possible? Although better crisps than a chocolate or cereal bar?
Dinner needs to be filling but not laden with carbs etc. So some protein- meat/ fish/ quorn/ beans etc with about 1/4 plate of protein, 1/4 carbs (potatoes, rice, pasta?) and 1/2 plate vegetables, ideally two or better still three types?
I'd encourage him to help with cooking- the hairy bikers do a series of diet cookbooks which are calorie counted yet still nice 'normal' family meals. He might quite enjoy the cooking.
You will find 'take away' recipes in these books and on the internet and something like chicken fajitas are a nice social yet easy meal and feels like a treat.
There is lots of advice available and your Gp would I'm sure be happy to advise, perhaps keep a food diary for a couple of weeks before you go to see them admit will be helpful.
You might find he's about to have a massive growth spurt and in a few months time will have grown out of this but no harm in being a bit healthier in the interim?

I do think his diet sounds bad. I'm sorry but a single portion of veg, a sugary breakfast cereal, white bread, processed meat do not constitute a good diet. And the half garlic bread with cheese would be extremely high in calories.

I was upset recently looking at photos of myself when I was ten and realising that I was overweight. I do think it was my parents' responsibility to control my food intake and educate me. As it happens I was then overweight until my mid twenties when I educated myself.

My ds would put on weight with that type of diet. He has done in the past when he ate croissants, bread and pastries fairly regularly.
I now make sure that he only has max 2 slices of wholemeal bread a day and has plenty of fruit and veg.
He’ll still eat junk food occasionally but his weight is fine now.

a bowl of own brand Cheerio type cereal for breakfast, a ham and cheese sandwich on white bread, a portion of cut up pepper, a portion of water melon, a yoghurt pouch for lunch, tomato soup, half a shop bought garlic bread with cheese and some plain popcorn for tea

It's one day, so it may not be typical but if it IS a typical day then there is room for improvement.

Also, portion sizes are really easy to let sneak up. How big is the 'bowl' of Cheerios, for instance?

Sandwich, watermelon, yoghurt pouch, peppers is OK and fairly standard for lunch, but you could swap to just ham or just cheese, change the bread perhaps, add more salad etc.

Tea I would never follow a 'bread' lunch like sandwiches with more bread for tea - just because if I don't have that rule it is so easy for them to eat bread for every meal sometimes and that's not great. I know when you want something quick and easy it's tempting but I'd go for a quick jacket potato in the microwave etc.

Sympathies on the comparing portion sizes - my two are terrible for this. I think it's pretty standard sibling stuff, honestly. I wouldn't worry about cutting the portion for the skinny one a little too - chances are he'll be fine with a little less too, honestly.