How can I help my 10 year old lose weight?

[Kitsandkids]

My 10 year old is gradually piling on the weight. Until he was 7 he was very slim but now he is noticeably big. He doesn't seem bothered though he has said a few times 'I've got a big belly.' I have never mentioned his weight to him.

The thing is, I don't really know what more I can do. We walk 25 minutes to and from school each day. He does Cubs one night a week, a youth club where they play football etc another night, ice skating another night. Swimming at least once a week. On Sundays he does a fairly active hobby for 3 hours.

We eat fairly healthily though do often get a takeaway on a Saturday night. I've put him onto packed lunches (which he wanted) because I suspect he was getting seconds at school dinners.

His brother, a year younger, is absolutely stick thin, so I can't really make the portions smaller as he obviously needs the food! I have noticed when we're out at play parks etc that the younger one will race about while the 10 year old spends more time sitting.

Any suggestions? He has slight SEN and no friends at school and I don't really want it to become something that he could be picked on about. Many thanks.

I think you need to look at this backwards. I think your other son is one of those 'naturally skinny' people that don't put on weight because they either expend a lot of nervous energy or forget to eat. They may get the same size portions but does DS2 always eat as much or does he get distracted and not finish his food more? Are you and your DH a healthy weight? DH eats a terrible diet at work, loads of chocolate bars and 'treat' foods but his BMI is 'only' 23 (and at approaching 50 that's the biggest he's ever been). I think it's partially balanced by DH never sitting still as well as doing his planned exercise (he cycles to work), and he regularly forgets to eat (weirdo).

I'm not overweight but if I ate the amount of junk he did I would be and I can see with our kids that although none are overweight the child that most like DH is as lean as anything and also is easily put off eating if e.g. she's tired or busy chatting or whatever. She's got the 'skinny gene'.

I don't think your DS's diet is that bad, kids need a lot less fibre in their diet than adults. I'd maybe revise the portion sizes for everyone and think about easy wins. How many calories does he drink? Swap to water or SS milk. Talk about eating the rainbow and discussing which fruit or veg they ate that day but don't talk about calories, just about being healthy and eating the food you need to grow. See who eats the biggest variety of fruit veg in a day. If the plates are as full but have veg rather than bread and cheese on them he'll stop gaining weight.

We have a similar problem with DSD2. She has noticeably put on weight and it's almost certainly because she is regularly allowed to eat too much and hasn't been doing enough exercise. She is also one of those children who wants everything to be absolutely fair, and if she sees her older, much more active sister having something, she will want it too regardless of if she is actually hungry. My husband tends to be a bit head in the sand about it but he is finally beginning to see it needs to be tackled. This school year she is doing more exercise so we hope that with more controlled eating/portions as well we can at least halt the gain.

At his age can you get him involved in cooking and preparing food himself. Maybe get him involved in cooking fakeaways at the weekend instead of ordering in? He could investigate recipes online, help you shop for ingredients and do the cooking. All good skills to have anyway and if you can start introducing more healthy meals this way without making it a thing then all the better.

Tomato soup with half a garlic baguette isn't dinner. Where's the protein? If you offer a more protein heavy dinner you may find there's less snacking. Eg you could do a casserole/curry/chilli/bolognese or chicken/salmon with veg? You can bulk out meat dishes with lentils to make them go further if you're on a budget.

And stop the takeaways every week - you could drop this to once a month, or do a fakeaway instead

Any suggestions of quick, filling healthy dinners I can make? Sorry if it's a drip feed but I also have a 1 year old and if my husband is at work I can't spend much time making meals because I can't trust the boys to watch her (they don't hurt her but she's done things like fallen off the sofa or bumped her head on the window sill in the 2 mins I've left her with them) and if I try putting her in a highchair while I cook she screams. She's walking now so I tried to just let her potter about the kitchen with me the other day and she jammed her finger in a drawer when I looked away for a few seconds. So meals need to be quick!

Yesterday he had a bowl of own brand Cheerio type cereal for breakfast, a ham and cheese sandwich on white bread, a portion of cut up pepper, a portion of water melon, a yoghurt pouch for lunch, tomato soup, half a shop bought garlic bread with cheese and some plain popcorn for tea. I don't think that's too bad for a growing 10 year old?

My ds, also 10 eats way more than that and is slim...at the weekend he had.

Breakfast...yoghurt, apple, pain au chocolat and a glass of milk.

Snack...carrot sticks and a couple of custard cream biscuits.

Lunch... griddled chicken breast with salad and tortilla wrap.

Went for a walk and he got a twirl from the sweet shop.

Dinner...home made curry with rice, broccoli and poppadoms.

Pudding..ice cream.

I honestly think some people are just really unlucky to put weight on easily.

Have you got a slow cooker? If not I'd see if you can pick one up cheaply, you can do loads of one pot meals that require very little prep also have a look at the Little Helper Funpod, might be useful for the 1 year old?

Hi OP, reading my post I do hope it doesn’t come across as judgey I was trying to help and I do realise how hard it is. I use convenience food often (beans/fish fingers etc) but I try to make up the other half of the plate as healthy as I can so baked beans with low gi soy or Linseed bread (one slice is enough) or fish fingers with beans and veg (no chips).
To avoid sweets I never mention weight, I go on about teeth and how bad it is for teeth to eat sweet things every day. He is allowed them but once a week only.
My son is terrible with protein so I’m working on this but it’s hard. I have been way to relaxed about ice creams and snacks in the heat over th summer (and I have had a newborn) and it has defiantly made a difference to his size.
We have had a chat about now we are back to school and we all need to help eachother to eat healthy foods so we can be fit and healthy over winter and do lots of fun stuff.

First of all, OP, could you buy him a cheap FitBit or other fitness tracker? That will give you an idea about how much he is moving around.

If it is really lack of activity that is the issue then maybe reward him (not with food treats) for upping his steps.

Fortnightly takeaway would be fine.

BBC Good Food is really good for simple recipes.

www.bbcgoodfood.com/feature/family-and-kids

Food intake is really important, but one thing I found really useful (and telling) in getting a FitBit, is that my slimmer friends do loads of steps. Not necessarily loads of formal exercise, going to the gym etc but are just very active in general, walking the dog etc.

Does your younger DS take packed lunches as well?

If so, reduce portions for both of them at dinner time but pack your younger son a bigger lunch.

My little cousin(11) was very over weight. His Mum, Dad and sister joined slimming world. Due to this there was a change in the family meals and as he had no disposable income of his own was unable to buy extras or cheat.
He has benefited the most and is now average weight.
The big realisation he came to on his own was the amount of cereal he was consuming, a box was only lasting 4 days now it lasts a week and a half.

Any suggestions of quick, filling healthy dinners I can make?

Meat and three veg type meals.

Meat can be anything:

• Pork chops (15-20 mins to grill)
• Chicken breasts / turkey steaks (in tin foil in oven for 20-30 min)
• Lamb steaks (15-20 mins to grill)
• Beef steaks (5 mins each to griddle)
• Whole roast chicken (bang in oven covered in tin foil and ignore for 2h)
• Salmon, cod, haddock (all can be steamed in tin foil in a similar way to chicken, around 20 mins)

Veg - aim for 3 full portions each. Skip potatoes, meals don't need to contain potatoes. Just slice up enough portions and bang in an electric steamer. 10 mins prep and 20 mins cooking.

At the moment we are rotating the following veg:

• carrots
• tender stem broccoli (because regular broccoli is not looking very good atm)
• baby corn
• mange tout
• sugar snap peas
• fine green beans
• pac choi
• spinich
• brussels sprouts
• frozen peas/sweetcorn

How much screen time does he have? Kids can burn off a lot of energy playing in the house but once they get screen time they tend to just sit still for hours. Consider cutting down that if you can.

My sympathies, OP. We are in the exact same position. I’m overweight too and need to lose. My DH and DS2 are slim. My DS1 aged 10 broke his arm earlier this year and has been very inactive since. We have also had a stressful year and healthy eating has fallen by the wayside. We have realised that DS1 has ballooned and last week we had to have a gentle chat with him about how we needed to control our weight for our health. He knows he is big and I told him that we would do it together. We meal planned from the Hairy Dieters cookbook. I’ve swapped him to packed lunches. I’ve reduced his portion sizes. I send him out to play footie and ride his bike every day and have reduced screen time.
We have set him a target of losing a stone by Xmas - just under a pound a week. Slow and steady. If he reaches this goal, we have offered to get him a phone for Christmas when he will be 11. He is very motivated by this!

So, for example, his diet now is:

Breakfast - low sugar/salt beans on one slice whole meal bread OR porridge OR homemade fruit/yoghurt smoothie OR boiled egg with 1 slice brown toast.

Lunch - homemade grilled chicken pieces, carrots and hummus and a banana. Today he took a portion of pesto pasta which was made with 35g pasta, broccoli, asparagus, green beans and an apple.

Dinner - Hairy Dieters chilli with cauliflower rice and garlic bread; sausages with baby yorkshires and veg; chicken and vegetable stir fry.

One snack per day after school IF he is genuinely hungry - veg sticks, a piece of fruit, a yoghurt or a bag of twiglets only.

We have been doing this for a week and he has lost 2lb. I’m measuring things out, he was eating enormous portions (same size as mine).

Oh and I would echo what other people said about cereal. Most cereal is packed with sugar and it's easy to eat three times the recommended portion size without even realising it. The manufacturers make the suggested portion size on the nutritional information deliberately small to make it look like the cereal is less calorific and sugar laden than it actually is. But in reality no one eats 30g of granola.

Oh, and we have cut fruit juice and sugary drinks out altogether. He is allowed water, milk (which he hates to be fair, so I sneak a bit into his smoothies!) and sugar-free squash which he is happy with. He doesn’t like fizzy drinks anyway but I would cut them too.

And, this could be a load of old bollocks, but I was told, (at a SN meeting) that often SN children are pre-disposed to putting on weight. And as I have met a lot of SN children over the last few years, I found this to be oddly true.

Don't compare to your slimmer child, they have a faster metabolism, but they still need to eat healthily for good fitness and overall heart health.

My DD was the one on the heavier side of average, I didn't make it a big issue, but would give her slightly smaller portions for her lunch (packed lunches), slightly less portion and more active. She had a growth spurt and is now very slim without having any pressure put on her.

Small changes in diet, more exercise (not easy some days)... are any of his exercise periods intensive? Walk to school, cubs, swimming lessons etc are active, but not necessarily active depending on how they are done.

Does he pour his own cereal? I ask mostly because my oldest boy had this thing where he was putting a bit more and a bit more cereal and got to a point where it was ridiculously overflowing. In the end, I told him was that eyeballing food is a skill that he needs to practice and showed him how to use measuring cups to help with that which he's now been happily doing for months as do I for my morning oatmeal mixes.

For the yoghurt pouch, I'd recommend switching with something like Arla protein or one of the quark yoghurt mixes like the Mullers ones that have less sugar and more protein in it which is often harder to get in quick foods.

I agree with the others that his menu was too many carbs, not enough protein.

I’ve got a 10yr old who’s the same. He has noticed that’s he’s gained weight though, and is worried about being teased at swimming (we are in France where children are generally very slim, and small boned: DS is a big boned anglo-saxon by comparison!) .

Oh and don’t be afraid to bin junk that makes its way into your house - don’t even try to use them up! He doesn’t need to eat sweets, popcorn, etc. Keep a token few and bin the rest. Keep them in a jar, out of sight. Mine often to forget to ask once they don’t spot them.

Echo the comments on portion sizes for cereals. I weighed out a portion with my kids recently to show them what a recommended portion looks like. As is so easy to do, they had started making portions bigger and bigger. Especially when they use a big bowl.

We have a rule that cereals can't have more than 12g of sugar per 100g. (For many years, it was less but I've relaxed a bit now that there are no babies in the house) We've looked at nutritional content and talked about how sugary breakfast cereals are basically desert. They are happy with that, and we do have them the odd time as treat for pudding.

Time is a challenge when cooking. We batch cook chili, curry etc. And use lentils and lots of veg to bulk them out. It's very easy to heat something up and cook rice or pasta or a microwave potato alongside.

I never buy yogurt pouches or yogurt corners. We have plain Greek style yogurt (because none of us can bear the sharpness of truly plain yogurt) and add berries and/or oats. None of us enjoy fruit yogurts anymore, finding them too sweet.

I don't quite have the same issue as you. I have a skinny bottomless pit of a 10 year old who is extremely active and eats vast quantities of food. It's the younger, less active one I'm slightly worried about. I'm making an effort to keep portion sizes appropriate, and also explain that people who use more energy need more food so sometimes their portions need to be different.

It's such a sensitive subject.

My DS is in a different situation ( his weight gain is due to a medical problem) but we're trying a low GI diet with him. Minimal carbs, low sugar. It's quite new to us so we're taking it slow at the moment but here's what he's had today..

Weetabix with raspberries and blueberries , low fat yogurt

Banana

Small chicken sandwich on brown bread, cucumber/carrot sticks and houmus, babybel and Chocolate milk

Tea is sweet potato fries, chicken kebabs and veg

Fortunately DS likes fruit/veg/salad, it would be a bit of a pain if he didn't! I'm going to start trying to cut back on bread too and start with pasta salads

We've also started park run too! He finds it very hard work ( medical con also affects energy ) but is determined to persevere

Thanks for your advice. I will try harder to cut down on carbs and add more fruit and veg. Breakfast is an issue because they get it themselves while I sort the baby out. So he probably is eating far too much. I might try switching to porridge as I can microwave that fairly easily while holding the baby or while she eats her own breakfast.

He definitely isn't as active as he could be while he's being active, if that makes sense. He stands about in the swimming pool a lot instead of doing lengths, he chooses crafts over sports at youth clubs, he sits on the swing a long time at parks for example. Tonight we went to the park after school for an extra half hour of activity before walking home. Now I'm sorting tea while my husband is on hand to watch the baby, but often he's not.