Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Decipher this teen-text for me please

34 replies

WoodforTrees · 04/09/2018 15:21

I accidentally just read a message between DD(13) and her friend. She had used my phone to check her instagram and so when I saw I had a message, I clicked on the red icon, only to discover that I was logged in as her, so the messages were hers IYSWIM

I am slightly freaking out even though I am pretty relaxed about most things.

For context, DD is just going into year 9 but is quite mature (physically/mentally and emotionally) for her age and i am mindful that she looks and acts much older than her age in some aspects.

We were camping over the summer and she met a boy who is 14 (going into year 10) who lives quite far from us but in the last two weeks, he has got several trains to come and visit her at our house on three occasions (I have been in).

The last time he was here, DS and his friends were playing loudly in the living room, so I said they could watch Netflix in her room as long as they left the door open. I popped up several times with drinks and to check on them Everything seemed to be ok and although DD was a bit flustered by my constant appearances I just assumed she was embarrassed by my obvious vigilance. Door stayed open.

Texts I have just read describe the fact that they 'got off' and then when her friends does lots of OMGs and 'Tell Me Everything' DD replies they 'got off quite a lot'.

She then talks about little kisses and cuddles

She then says he has told her he loves her.

If it's little kisses and cuddles, I'm a bit sad - I think she is too young - but not devastated. But this doesn't match with 'got off a lot' in my world (In my day that would have meant full on snogging and groping).

I am also not sure about the 'I love you bit'. Really?

DH says at his age he would sadly have said anything to get a girl to snog him.

Do I assume the worst or the best? Do I tell her I accidentally saw her texts?

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 04/09/2018 15:22

Got off is snogging

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 04/09/2018 15:23

I meant to add we didn’t use it to mean groping.

skippy67 · 04/09/2018 15:23

Got off is snogging. Surprised you don't know that.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

13 year olds Families Secondary education
honeysucklejasmine · 04/09/2018 15:24

Yeah, snogging.

HMC2000 · 04/09/2018 15:24

I would say snogging and groping, but bear in mind that they also play things up a bit for their friends to impress them.

RedPandaMama · 04/09/2018 15:24

I'm in my early 20s and when my friends who still party a lot and myself catch up, if we talk about who 'got off' with which lad it just means kissing, nothing serious. Even getting off a lot, to me anyway (and to my 19 year old sister, just asked) it means multiple kisses but nothing more.

Mymadworld · 04/09/2018 15:26

Got off is snogging and IMO totally normal and acceptable at 14.

Glancing at a message is one thing but this looks more like you were snooping so unless you have an agreement that if she has a phone you can check her messages (I do with my 12 yr old but can see this might need adjusting at some point) then I can imagine she'd be mortified and it could cause a real rift in your relationship as you've broken her trust.

PinkHeart5914 · 04/09/2018 15:28

I think when your 13 getting off is probably lots of full on snogging tbh.

KIMv · 04/09/2018 15:29

As others have said got off means proper snogging, however it doesn't necessarily include groping imo.

TheActualLastJedi · 04/09/2018 15:29

Yeah snogging but not much more, I mean may have groped her a little.

She's 14 and exploring her emotions and sexuality. It was bound to happen at some point.

You kept the door open and popped up regularly to stop teenage emotions/impulses getting too much so you did the right thing. I would strongly recommend you keep to this plan also.

She's in a safe environment which you provided. I know you still think of her as your little girl but she's now firmly on the path to becoming a teenager and all that entails.

It all starts somewhere, first snoggs and kisses 🤷

downinthejunglee · 04/09/2018 15:29

Snogging, which is normal for year 9

kitbabingley · 04/09/2018 15:30

Yep getting off is still snogging.

But at that age I used to lie through my teeth to try to impress my friends. I didn't have my first real kiss until I was 15. And from what I know that's not uncommon. If this boy doesn't live close or go to the same school it would be easy for her to embellish the truth to sound more grown up.

I think you're right to keep an eye but I wouldn't worry too much.

ClashCityRocker · 04/09/2018 15:30

Yup got off is snogging.

As long as they didn't have it off....

Mymadworld · 04/09/2018 15:31

Sorry just seen dd is 13 so ok a bit young but definitely around the sort of age I'd imagine quite a few girls have their first snog including me 30 odd years ago. I wouldn't be too excited about a serious boyfriend at this age and would keep a pretty close on eye them but holiday snogs are definitely part and parcel of being a teen imo.

SpectacularAardvark · 04/09/2018 15:31

Ah, that takes me back. I'm weirdly pleased that teenagers still say "got off", I thought all the stuff we said would be long out of date!

I'd say just snogging though, don't worry. And yes, she's probably exaggerated it for her mates too. Grin

LadyLaSnack · 04/09/2018 15:32

Yes - ‘got off’ = snogging

‘A lot’ = more than once

AdaColeman · 04/09/2018 15:34

Bear in mind that she isn't going to tell her friend that they just played Scrabble and nothing else happened!

Pieceofpurplev · 04/09/2018 15:36

It just means that they snogged lots.

Cel982 · 04/09/2018 15:40

Gosh, do kids still say 'getting off'?! I'm feeling all nostalgic, this was slang for snogging when I was a teenager 20 years ago... I'd see it as very normal for their age, OP; I would stick to your original plan of letting them hang out at your place with supervision and would NOT tell her you read her messages.

Original poster
WoodforTrees · 04/09/2018 15:44

Yes, I know 'Got off' is snogging, but it was the 'Got off A LOT'. I am reassured that it probably refers to the amount of kisses rather than various stages of 'Getting Off'...

I was definitely snogging by late 13 but just a bit sad that it's happening.

@Mymadworld I really wasn't snooping. She had been using my phone to check her instagram. I didn't know this so assumed the message was for me. I defy any mother to see that her DD13 is talking about 'Getting Off' with someone and not scan the thread.

Should I tell her I saw or leave it alone and just be sensible about them being together (i.e. doors open/regular checks etc)?

OP posts:
downinthejunglee · 04/09/2018 15:53

Leave it

Oblomov18 · 04/09/2018 15:54

She's going into year 9 and he's going into year 10?
Ok.
Ds1 has lots of friends who have girlfriends and quite a bit of snogging goes on and 'getting off with each other at parties'. All quite tame.
Sounds fine and age appropriate to me.

Secretsquirrel101 · 04/09/2018 15:54

As per the majority, snogging a lot is what I would deduce from that. In fact I shouldn’t have thought they spent much time chatting!
I’d leave it alone personally and just make sure I kept an eye on the situation as well as making sure I kept communications open with her.

Oblomov18 · 04/09/2018 15:56

" I was definitely snogging by late 13 but just a bit sad that it's happening. "

Why?

lostfrequencies · 04/09/2018 15:57

Oh god yes definitely leave it.