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Original poster

Why are people so nasty?

39 replies

BananaSpljt · 31/08/2018 20:21

A member of the public recently made a really spiteful and untrue allegation about my conduct. If my manager believed it, my career goals would have been irreparably damaged. Luckily today we've had a meeting about it and she said she doesn't. But I feel so shaken up and angry about it.

Why are people so nasty for no reason? I don't understand. What do they gain?

OP posts:
Chottie · 31/08/2018 20:26

I've come to the conclusion that some people are very bitter and just plain nasty....

Original poster
BananaSpljt · 31/08/2018 20:31

I just don't understand why.

If my manager believed her, the dreams that I've worked for 10 years and spent 50k on (at uni) to try and achieve (still got a long way to go), would have all been for nothing and I'd never be employed in my field again.

I am good and kind and never did anything to this person.

I just can't get over how my whole life could have been ruined today.

OP posts:
lollythelurker · 31/08/2018 20:33

People can be vile, particularly behind the disguise of the internet!

NewDirectionNeeded · 31/08/2018 20:41

No idea, OP.

You should pop over to my thread -"Are these shoes acceptable for high school?" There's one nasty fucker there. It's scary how many horrible people there are out there.

VeryBerryAugust · 31/08/2018 20:43

It's unknowable.

Tara336 · 31/08/2018 20:47

I’ve never understood how people can be so nasty. I can only guess they are bored, sad and jealous of everyone else? Just smile and wave 😉

HoleyCoMoley · 31/08/2018 20:51

Whats also horrible is knowing there's nothing you can do, you have to be investigated, keep quiet, carry on as best you can especially if it can involve your job and question your integrity. People can be horrid, you have to believe in karma.

3girlmama · 31/08/2018 20:55

My dh and I often discuss this. There are so many people out there who are rude, ignorant, selfish and plain spiteful. There's no need for it. Their actions can have huge implications on those they're mean to. Yet they get away Scott free and continue being horrible.

I saw the thread about school shoes (I replied 😊 they're fine btw 😉) but the troll post was removed when I popped on just now so it must've been nasty. So they really are everywhere 😟

Ohyesiam · 31/08/2018 20:58

It’s really hard to understand isn’t it.

I’m always glad I’m not one of them. You can’t be happy and do that can you?
I’m not perfect by a long way, but it doesn’t take much for me to see something from someone else’s POV, or to feel my heart strings tugged by someone being upset.

MrsMozart · 31/08/2018 21:01

Sadly some people, for whatever teason, are just nasty.

The thing is not to let it cloud your view of the world. I've only come across a couple of truly horrible people and so many nice ones that I can't count.

Maybe OP you need some way of protecting yourself from false allegations.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 31/08/2018 21:04

I was thinking about this quite a lot this week for reasons of my own. I have started to wonder whether alcohol plays a part in this.

I'll never forget the nasty and bitter posts that George Best wrote about his own son in his blog and the odd behaviour from Megan Markle's father and sister. And the nasty and bitter behaviour and comments from my own alcoholic father. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was alcohol related. Not all alcoholics are falling over drunk, some of them are not obvious alcoholics at all.

00100001 · 31/08/2018 21:09

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00100001 · 31/08/2018 21:09
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Lifestyleparent · 31/08/2018 21:09

What line of work are you in OP? I'm in a role where we regularly have complaints against us... just because they don't like decisions we make... but it's scary all the same :(

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 31/08/2018 21:10

I had this.

I believe it was a personal attack directed at me alone.

I have no idea why I was targeted but can only think it was due to something minor that happened years ago - where she was completely in the wrong. But to hold onto it and wait this long to get 'revenge' is worrying.

I believe the person has done the same to others previously and is not a credible witness.

I only know she is telling lies about me and can't prove it. Everyone says they believe me but I still feel upset by it.

ems137 · 31/08/2018 21:17

Some people are jealous, some have nothing else to fill their lives with so thrive on drama and some have mental issues.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 31/08/2018 21:22

I’m sorry, that must have been really scary. I’m glad your manager is a decent person.

Can you speak to your manager about protecting yourself against false claims going forward? One person should not be able to wreck your career like that.

AS for why...Christ only knows?! There’s no explanations that makes it acceptable anyway.

Original poster
BananaSpljt · 31/08/2018 21:22

What line of work are you in OP? I'm in a role where we regularly have complaints against us... just because they don't like decisions we make... but it's scary all the same :(

I'm in the NHS. Where there really is no way to completely protect yourself from false allegations, as a PP suggested.

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 31/08/2018 21:27

When I was in my first grad job the office admin woman faked my signature on a petty cash voucher and stole the money. First I knew of it was when the internal auditors came to have a "chat" with me, so they took my "Petty cash, what on earth are you on about?" reaction for what it was and after some further investigations the admin woman was sacked.

But that could easily have been me, as you say, all my hopes and dreams down the drain so that someone could nick a couple of hundred quid. And gallingly I had never been anything other than pleasant and polite to this woman.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 31/08/2018 21:28

Well, I guess, then all you can do is ensure you always have a manager who is a decentl person, but bloody hell, that’s a strain to live under for sure.

You could always get a job on a ward, you can’t sneeze without everyone knowing about it 🙄

HemanOrSheRa · 31/08/2018 21:34

Honestly, some people are just horrible. They really are. I work for a large LA and have done for over 25 years. Try to put it behind you. Don't let it bring you down Flowers.

southernharp · 31/08/2018 21:36

Teaching is the same. There is no way of defending yourself against accusations that often spring from nowhere or from dinner time conversations. I am in a similar situation except the head teacher is such a parent pleaser that I know I will not be believed. Sigh.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 31/08/2018 21:37

There is a way of defending yourself against accusations - they could let us wear go-pros.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 31/08/2018 21:38

Was a story in our local paper today about some bloke that trolled the Facebook accounts of young people that had tragically died and left nasty posts. He’s now in trouble for it. Nasty bastard. I really don’t understand people like that.

Sunnysidegold · 31/08/2018 21:40

It's so sad that the world is like this. I left my old job because one woman was quite frankly a nasty bitch who lived to make other people feel like crap. I am so glad I left and never have to see her again but it really woke me up to the fact that no matter if thou are kind and decent to everyone it doesn't mean you'll get the same in return. Sorry you had this experience op

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