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Original poster

Free bars at wedding or not?

50 replies

PeridotCricket · 29/08/2018 11:54

DH is paying half's of his son's wedding together with the bride's parents.

About 60 people in all so small but not very small wedding.

There'll be a 1/2 a bottle of wine per person with the meal and fizz of some kind for a welcome drink.

Then it's a pay bar - that seems fair to me....but what do people think?

OP posts:
Tiredmum100 · 29/08/2018 11:55

A pay bar in the UK is the norm. I've only been to one wedding where we didn't pay and that was in india.

WinterBabyIsComing · 29/08/2018 11:57

I agree, only ever been to a couple of weddings with a free bar and both were catered marquees so bride and groom had provided various bottles for people to help themselves rather than a bar such as you would get in a hotel.

SnuggyBuggy · 29/08/2018 11:57

No one will object to a pay bar in the UK, I think they are very controversial in the US though

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Weddings
Thiswayorthatway · 29/08/2018 11:59

I would fully expect to pay for drinks at a bar at a wedding. Free wine and fizz sounds just right.

Rybbonsyster · 29/08/2018 11:59

The best weddings I have been too have had a free bar (plus a decent 3 course sit down meal)

Doobigetta · 29/08/2018 12:02

Half a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses of fizzy stuff, presumably plus unlimited tap water, is plenty for guests to be refreshed, relaxed and comfortable. It probably isn’t far off the average amount each person will drink anyway- a lot of people are very light drinkers, they just slip under the radar next to the hardcore boozers. But there really isn’t any onus on you to pay for people to get shitfaced- that’s on them.

DollyTots · 29/08/2018 12:02

We did a free bar with the conditions of no shots and doubles, which if you wanted you paid for. There were 50 people there and the bill came to about £750. People were appreciative but it is definitely a cost to factor in. This was on top of reception drinks, toasting drinks and wines at the table.

Bobbiepin · 29/08/2018 12:03

Personally I hate cash bars at weddings. You spend so much on other people's weddings. If you can't afford it then fair enough but I would if you can.

Bestseller · 29/08/2018 12:03

I think if you're having extra evening guests (whole other thread!) then it's nice to buy the a drink on arrival at but otherwise a pay bar is fine.

With the meal I'd probably do all wine, but rather than a half bottle. If you say it's eg three bottles on a table of six, then some people get two bottles others only the half. If the restaurant only open it as needed you'll probably find you actually end up serving less because of the drivers.

SnuggyBuggy · 29/08/2018 12:04

You could offer free soft drinks.

halcyondays · 29/08/2018 12:04

yes, perfectly fine. Never been to one with a totally free bar.

Sparklingbrook · 29/08/2018 12:05

I went to a wedding recently with a free bar except for spirits. It was all very nice and nobody got completely drunk.

MadisonAvenue · 29/08/2018 12:05

I've only ever been to one wedding with a free bar, but that was a very small wedding and free just for the daytime (it was a noon wedding) and ended when the evening reception started and many more guests arrived.

A pay bar is the norm in the UK, they always seem very expensive though at weddings.

Believeitornot · 29/08/2018 12:05

We did similar - with fizz on arrival for the evening guests.

As it was, we had plenty of booze because quite a few people only had the odd glass.

SnuggyBuggy · 29/08/2018 12:08

We ended up with a free bar as FIL kept putting money behind the bar. The advantages of doing this over a free bar is you can pull the plug if it gets too lairy.

jusdepamplemousse · 29/08/2018 12:10

Free bar is great if you can afford it, no big deal if you can’t / don’t want to.

I think about 20% of weddings I’ve been to have had it so more normal not to. But not extraordinary to have one either. I’m in NI though and I think people here tend to be more generous hosts (I’ve previously lived in england). Or else we just consider it more normal that people will get a bit pissed at weddings Grin - they are proper parties here.

If worried about folk taking the piss just put a set amount behind the bar and when it’s gone it’s gone.

We had one at our wedding and I’m glad we did - lots of happy guests, it went down well.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 29/08/2018 12:12

Instead of a half bottle of wine we gave people 3 free drink tickets each (not everyone likes wine). People were pleased.

DinosApple · 29/08/2018 12:14

I've never been to a wedding with a free bar so that sounds fine to me and is what we did for our wedding.

Half bottle per guest with the meal worked out fine too. All our tables were a mix of ages and drinking capabilities. The one person who can put away a lot was sat on a table with mostly pregnant people and designated drivers. He had a great time Grin.

RavenLG · 29/08/2018 12:14

I think it's the standard for UK weddings. I've never been to a free bar wedding.
That being said best wedding I went had a brilliant 'welcome drinks' package. While the wedding party photos we're being taken the waiting staff constantly we're floating around with beers and cocktails, I must have drank about 3/4 mojitos before the meal. It was great lol!

mydogisthebest · 29/08/2018 12:16

I wouldn't object to paying for drinks at a wedding but almost every one I have been to the bar has been free.

Me and DH had a free bar as did both my siblings. We had very little money but made sure we had enough for that. My cousins all had free bars as did my niece who married 2 years ago (150 guests) and my nephew who married last year (120 guests).

I don't drink alcohol and DH barely drinks so we wouldn't spend much anyway.

I realise drink is expensive but it does make me laugh that people spend so much on unnecessary things - seat covers, favours etc but then expect guests to pay for drinks.

Someone I worked with had a really over the top wedding which her parents paid for and even had crockery made with their initials on but guests had to pay for their drinks which I thought was mean

Racecardriver · 29/08/2018 12:16

I've never been to a wedding with a pay bar. Seems quite naff to me. You either pay in full for a wedding or you don't have one.

Yoksha · 29/08/2018 12:22

We had a free bar until midnight on the wedding day. It was in operation for about 6hrs. We decided because the majority of guests on S-il's side travelled up from the south to the NW & incurred all travelling/accommodation individually to attend the wedding.

I wished we'd kept a tighter reign in retrospect. The bar staff just allowed a free-for-all. No curbing! One table of 8 ordered 22 bottles of house red. 2 hrs later they ordered bottles of rum. This one table of 8 military bods drank 25% of the free bar budget. The other 160 guests behaved responsibly. They (the 8) drank the Marriot bar dry of all Sailor Jerry. We were informed that this crowd were comatose lying over bushes at 4 am? The hotel staff were disgusted and let us know. Cheeky fuckers. Sandhursts finest. Right!

We still have the till roll 9yrs later. Dh jokes that he'll present Dd with it one dayGrin

NonJeNeRegretteRien · 29/08/2018 12:23

“We did a free bar with the conditions of no shots and doubles, which if you wanted you paid for. There were 50 people there and the bill came to about £750. People were appreciative but it is definitely a cost to factor in. This was on top of reception drinks, toasting drinks and wines at the table.”

We did the same, well.. we put £500 behind the bar with those instructions then my dad matched the £500 and lifted those instructions- no one took the piss and it still only came to £750. We had 60 for day plus about 30-40 for evening.

It’s really up to you as the trend for a while has been after the dinner it’s a cash bar.

notacooldad · 29/08/2018 12:25

I'm in my 50s and every wedding I've been to all my life ( and funeral and christening come to that) has alwYs had a bar.
At most a few bottles of wine on the table to toast but once the party begins that's it!

MissConductUS · 29/08/2018 12:28

My wedding was a similar size and we had an open (free) bar and people did not abuse it. I think the total cost by the time they added everything up was only about $300. Most people just had a soft drink or a glass of wine, but I think they really appreciated the hospitality.

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