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Original poster

Friend owes me money. (Long post)

69 replies

Cemkg123 · 29/08/2018 07:11

I met this girl 3 years ago on holiday through a friend, ended up being good friends. Last year I was in turkey for 6 months and she was coming to visit for 2 weeks in August. She is a young single mum to a 6 year old, so she was bringing him and her mum. The day before she was due to travel so said she had no money for the visas to enter turkey and no money for food during the travel as she got paid the day after this. I told her I can lend her £100 to cover costs and she told me she would pay me the next day. She arrived early hours of the morning and I was sleeping so the next day I went to see her. She was crying and said she had been paid but some payments/debt had been taken from her bank which she had forgotten about. I said ok it's fine you can pay me back after the holiday, let's just enjoy. As I wasn't desperate for the money to be paid back there and then.
During the holiday I bought her son some toys, pay for some drinks which I don't mind, I offered. At the end of the holiday her son got an ear infection and couldn't fly, her insurance paid for hotel and new flight, offered to move her to all inclusive so they would be fed and watered but they refused because they didn't want the hassle of changing hotels but they didn't have any money between them, so I don't understand why they did this. They called their family to borrow money but nobody would help, she was crying and I felt bad so I offered them another £100 to go to the supermarket for food for the apartment and to get them by, her child was with then so how could I let him starve. My friend and her mum took the money and told me they would pay me back 14th September as that's when the mum got paid. They went home on 13th, 14th came and b9 money, said that they needed to get food in for the house etc so I said ok pay later. Basically I have asked for my money numerous times and each time there's an excuse. BTW all this time I was pregnant and she knew, and I now have a 4 month old so need all my money.
Told me last month she will definitley pay me on 29th August. I've text her in the days leading up to today but I've had no reply.
I know it's only £200 and I'm not desperate for it but it would be handy to buy new things for the baby as they grow so fast. But also it's the principle, I lent her money to help her out and it makes me angry that she thinks she doesn't have to pay me back. I've recently found out she's done this to other friends (ex friends)
I was contemplating taking her to small claims court just because I don't think it's right that she thinks I'll just go away and let her get away with it. I know that might sound petty but I'm really tired of helping others and not gettin any respect (at least) back. What would you do? Sorry it's long.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cemkg123 · 29/08/2018 07:18

I should also add I live in Scotland and she lives in England, she's moved house recently so I don't know her address now.

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 29/08/2018 07:18

Have you suggested she pays you £20 per month or something? at least it would be paid, or should be paid.
small claims court? no way.

MagentaRocks · 29/08/2018 07:18

I don’t think you will get your money back from her. She clearly has no intention of paying you back so either let it go or small claims.

I doubt your friendship will survive this.

PopeyeandOliveOil · 29/08/2018 07:23

i doubt u will see any of that money back and you may find u never hear from her again as u have no address for her you may never be able to track her down.

Original poster
Cemkg123 · 29/08/2018 07:23

Yes I suggested she pay me small amounts, in May she told me she will pay me half at the end of May and the other half in June. I also suggest £20 a month. I'm not actually interested in keeping the friendship as she's not made any effort with me since Christmas, she only ever texts when her and her boyfriend have argued, as soon as they're talking she's back to ignoring me. So as far as im concerned the friendship has already ended. Why not small claims slartybartfast?

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 29/08/2018 07:38

I dont know anything about small claims apart from Judge Rinder tbh Grin Blush
just seems excessive.

Loopytiles · 29/08/2018 07:42

Small claims seems a lot of hassle for £200 and you may not win unless you have a written agreement. Keep hassling her, but unlikely she’ll repay you - write it off as a bad decision.

Slartybartfast · 29/08/2018 07:44

have you involved the friend, you say you met her through a friend?

Singlenotsingle · 29/08/2018 07:46

No chance of suing unless you've got it in writing, or some other proof of an agreement by her to pay.

Snappedandfarted2018 · 29/08/2018 07:49

Never borrow money to someone you can’t afford to lose.

redcarbluecar · 29/08/2018 07:54

Seems odd that she would go on a 2 week holiday to Turkey if she has money struggles. I think some people just see others as a source of money. Seems unlikely you’ll get the money back but you could carry on hassling her, depending on how much energy you want to expend on this. She doesn’t sound worth keeping as a friend, unless she has qualities that override this really selfish trait.

NonaGrey · 29/08/2018 07:56

Have you threatened her with Small Claims?

Have you actually told her you really need the money? Phoned her crying like she’s phoned you?

You keep telling her you can do without it and she doesn’t need to pay. Stop doing that!

Tell her you need the money desperately and she needs to pay you now.

And then work on your boundaries. She didn’t need any of the money you lent her. And you threw good money after bad.

Original poster
Cemkg123 · 29/08/2018 08:16

Last month I told her I really need the money. I lied and said I had none o said I was struggling really bad. This is when she told me she would pay me on 29th August (today). I also told her the month before that, that I wasn't gettin any maternity pay because my work messed up some paperwork (which isn't lying it did happen but payments have started now).

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 29/08/2018 08:18

do you speak or text op?

Slartybartfast · 29/08/2018 08:18

speak to her today, the money hasnt come through

LittleCandle · 29/08/2018 08:20

Sometimes the threat of small claims court is enough. I had a so-called friend who did the dirty on me on a business we had started together. He then cut me off completely and was owe me money. I finally threatened small claims and because of where he worked (business was too new to make any money) he couldn't take the risk of losing, which he would have, and coughed up the cash.

TwoBlueShoes · 29/08/2018 08:26

Yeah, you're going to have to keep hassling her. Don't give up.

Original poster
Cemkg123 · 29/08/2018 08:27

Snappedandfarted2018. Like I said I'm not desperate for it but the money back would be nice. Me and my child will not go without if I don't get it back but why should she get to keep it. She told me she would pay me back and I lent her money before this and she paid me back so why wouldn't I help a friend out?

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 29/08/2018 08:29

yes but she doesnt have to know you are not desperate op.
ring her, weekly.

Original poster
Cemkg123 · 29/08/2018 08:30

Slartybartfast we were texting regularly and we would video call once or twice a week. Now we hardly speak anymore, she tends not to answer my text or calls a even when I'm not asking for money

OP posts:
GetSchwifty · 29/08/2018 08:30

You’re not getting any money back from her. Look at it as a lesson learned the hard way.

TwoBlueShoes · 29/08/2018 08:33

Then be a dick about it until she pays up. The friendship is over anyway.

premiertav · 29/08/2018 08:33

You are not going to get any of this money back.

Original poster
Cemkg123 · 29/08/2018 08:33

As for small claims... I have proof through text of the first £100 and she was she'll pay me back. The second £100 was verbal but I have text messages to show she acknowledges she owes me money and gives me times of when she's going to pay me. One of the texts even says 'you've waited long enough' surely this would be in my favour

OP posts:
LoveMintyAeros · 29/08/2018 08:35

You've learned a lesson here OP. Cut her off and don't EVER lend money to anyone again.