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Original poster

Friend owes me money. (Long post)

69 replies

Cemkg123 · 29/08/2018 07:11

I met this girl 3 years ago on holiday through a friend, ended up being good friends. Last year I was in turkey for 6 months and she was coming to visit for 2 weeks in August. She is a young single mum to a 6 year old, so she was bringing him and her mum. The day before she was due to travel so said she had no money for the visas to enter turkey and no money for food during the travel as she got paid the day after this. I told her I can lend her £100 to cover costs and she told me she would pay me the next day. She arrived early hours of the morning and I was sleeping so the next day I went to see her. She was crying and said she had been paid but some payments/debt had been taken from her bank which she had forgotten about. I said ok it's fine you can pay me back after the holiday, let's just enjoy. As I wasn't desperate for the money to be paid back there and then.
During the holiday I bought her son some toys, pay for some drinks which I don't mind, I offered. At the end of the holiday her son got an ear infection and couldn't fly, her insurance paid for hotel and new flight, offered to move her to all inclusive so they would be fed and watered but they refused because they didn't want the hassle of changing hotels but they didn't have any money between them, so I don't understand why they did this. They called their family to borrow money but nobody would help, she was crying and I felt bad so I offered them another £100 to go to the supermarket for food for the apartment and to get them by, her child was with then so how could I let him starve. My friend and her mum took the money and told me they would pay me back 14th September as that's when the mum got paid. They went home on 13th, 14th came and b9 money, said that they needed to get food in for the house etc so I said ok pay later. Basically I have asked for my money numerous times and each time there's an excuse. BTW all this time I was pregnant and she knew, and I now have a 4 month old so need all my money.
Told me last month she will definitley pay me on 29th August. I've text her in the days leading up to today but I've had no reply.
I know it's only £200 and I'm not desperate for it but it would be handy to buy new things for the baby as they grow so fast. But also it's the principle, I lent her money to help her out and it makes me angry that she thinks she doesn't have to pay me back. I've recently found out she's done this to other friends (ex friends)
I was contemplating taking her to small claims court just because I don't think it's right that she thinks I'll just go away and let her get away with it. I know that might sound petty but I'm really tired of helping others and not gettin any respect (at least) back. What would you do? Sorry it's long.

OP posts:
Grandadwasthatyou · 29/08/2018 08:36

Op. I am in a similar situation. Loaned a friend enough for her to pay her rent one month whilst she got back on her feet after splitting up with her DH.. She agreed she would pay me back £20 a month. I've had one payment in a year. I'm just writing it off ( in my head). I don't think the friendship will last, which is a shame as her ds and mine are good friends.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 29/08/2018 08:40

Honestly, you are never going to see any of that money. You never were.

The process of going to small claims court would be time consuming, irritating, and even if you won she would probably default. For £200 I would let it go and not waste any more time thinking about it.

LeftRightCentre · 29/08/2018 08:40

You'll never see a penny of that money. Harass her and she'll just block you. Never ever loan money. Lesson learned. Don't fall for sob stories.

Singlenotsingle · 29/08/2018 08:43

Never lend money unless you can afford to lose it altogether. Take it for granted you won't get it back

LeftRightCentre · 29/08/2018 08:45

How are you going to sue her in small claims when you don't even know her address? She'll just block you if you harass her. You're going to have to let this go, you won't see any money from her.

NonaGrey · 29/08/2018 08:58

Call her today and demand the money.

The friendship is gone regardless, might as well get your money if you can.

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 29/08/2018 09:05

As pp said there is no friendship. You were very foolish to lend her money a second time.

I would send the following text:

I never received the £200 you owe me as promised by you on the 29th. I am fed up of asking you to repay me. If I do not receive the money in full in the next 7 days I will take you to the small claims court.

Original poster
Cemkg123 · 29/08/2018 09:31

I've text her, in the nicest way possible and told her about the money, also mentioned small claims court. Also messaged the mum as it was both I lent it to, she told me money will be in my account about 2. Let's hope she sticks to her word

OP posts:
LegoPiecesEverywhere · 29/08/2018 10:07

Well done op but I wouldn’t be holding my breath for that money!

NonaGrey · 29/08/2018 10:08

Good.

Next time don’t lend money.
Particularly don’t lend money to someone who already owes you.

Hushnownobodycares · 29/08/2018 10:17

Sorry she abused your good nature but you've been had, OP.

Giving her another £100 when she'd stalled on the first lot wasn't the best move. She had the chance to get the kid and herself very adequately fed and watered but turned it down. That doesn't make them your responsibility.

Write this off and get a bit more cynical for next time.

Onthebrink87 · 29/08/2018 10:49

I was going to suggest telling her you where looking into small claims to put a boot up her arse. I'd even go as far to say you had legal advice and the texts you have kept are sufficient evidence. What an arsehole! Who the hell drags a child abroad knowing full well you can't even afford to feed them. Shameless and irresponsible - this has made me angrier than it should, god only knows how you feel! Keeping fingers crossed you get your money today!

BlackrockMum · 29/08/2018 13:11

As you don't want/ need to maintain this friendship and you are really getting nowhere I'd try increase the pressure on her, small claims mightn't work, can be often simply rescheduled when people fail to show, so you could be months and as a new mum im sure you have better things to do, or she might try paying £1 a month or something useless, so before you look into that, I'd contact anyone I could related or who knows her, asking for her new address urgently, wouldn't say why but they might contact her, i'd contact her mum about the second £100 and remind her she said shed pay September 14 when she was paid and that was nearly a year ago, and you have been more than patient. Its not your problem who took money, her mother said she'd pay. Isn't it interesting that no other family was willing to help out, wouldn't you wonder why? perhapse i'm being over cynical but and as to why she didn't move to all inclusive was this because she expected to get more in daily expenses from insurance? as others have said keep up pressure , if she doesn't answer calls contact others saying trying to contact her by phone, what have you got to loose.

HettySunshine · 29/08/2018 19:48

Did she pay up op?

Original poster
Cemkg123 · 30/08/2018 20:13

So she didn't pay up, told me the money would be in by 2pm, I waited til 4pm. Text her again to tell her I was going to the cash machine in the next hour, she said she was going to do that that moment. I waited but nothing and still nothing, how she is ignoring all calls and texts. I spoke to her mum this morning and she told me that talking about small claims got 'their backs up' and told me to go through with it. I assume they are calling my bluff

OP posts:
Original poster
Cemkg123 · 30/08/2018 20:16

I will never lend her money again. But I had lent her money before and she did pay me back. So I had no reason to doubt that she would pay me. The friend that introduced us is now saying she knew she was this type of person, she's done it to other 'friends' of hers and she didn't want to say anything before because she didn't want to cause trouble....

OP posts:
Cloudyapples · 30/08/2018 20:24

Go to small claims court - even if it does t get you your money back it will put the fear in her not to do this to someone else

travailtotravel · 30/08/2018 20:29

Go To small claims. It will cost you to lodge the application but not that much to be honest.

TwoBlueShoes · 30/08/2018 23:22

she told me that talking about small claims got 'their backs up' and told me to go through with it

Arseholes!

They really had no intention of ever paying you back. Was the money you lent before a lesser amount?

I hope you do go through small claims and get it back.

Hugs Flowers

helvetica01 · 31/08/2018 08:48

What terrible people! I'm furious at them on your behalf OP. Definitely go through with small claims. The cost of lodging a claim is very small, and it will teach them not to do it again if nothing else. Good luck!

Original poster
Cemkg123 · 31/08/2018 10:07

Usually I'm pretty laid back and if she had been honest with me and said she really couldn't afford to pay me back I would've let her keep it. But after learning that she's done this to others and the response I received from them both it makes me determined to go through small claims, just to show them it's unacceptable. I called citezins advice, they are calling me back today to advise me on how the process works. The girl is not replying at all whatsoever, but usually she's a fiery person who is first to run her mouth. This makes me think she thinks I'm bluffing and hoping I'll go away, or she's worried that I am going to go through with it. Guess I'll find out sooner or later

OP posts:
Original poster
Cemkg123 · 31/08/2018 10:08

Twoblueshoes, I lent her £150 to fix her phone before and she paid me back, she paid me back 2 months later than planned but she explained why so it was fine. This time I guess she was just trying her luck taking my kindness for weakness

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 31/08/2018 10:19

I would also go via small claims court.

You have proof she owes the money and she has text agreeing she does, even 'I'll pay you next month' is an agreement she owes this.

If she's loud she'll tell all her friends what you are doing and they'll probably agree with you! She deserves a mark against her name.

ceecee32 · 31/08/2018 10:29

www.moneyclaim.gov.uk/web/mcol/welcome

Butterymuffin · 31/08/2018 10:39

I'd do the small claims court now even if it cost me just to make the point.

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