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Original poster

Can someone please help- my baby keeps waking up every hour / 30 mins and I can't cope anymore

33 replies

Niger · 29/08/2018 06:13

I don't know what to do. I can't cope. I'm exhausted, depressed and it's killing me. I can't cope. Why does she keep waking up so much. I can't cope. She's bf but I know she's not hungry when she wakes up most of the time. I can't put her down in her cot. She just wakes up as soon as I do that. I don't know what to do. Please can someone help me.

OP posts:
Bumblealong1 · 29/08/2018 06:16

Poor poor you. It’s awful.
How old is your little one?
Are you alone or do you have a partner?

Rednaxela · 29/08/2018 06:18

Where is DP?

I bf. DP and I did shifts so I could get a block of sleep. 2-3h at a time.

Safe co sleeping wasn't a miracle cure as I never really slept well but it did help because DC would be quiet and settled. Babies aren't designed to sleep on their own, it's normal they just want to be physically close to a caregiver.

Original poster
niger · 29/08/2018 06:18

I forgot to say. She's 5 and a half months old. I have a partner but she doesn't calm down with him at night. She just keeps crying for me.

OP posts:

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Original poster
niger · 29/08/2018 06:21

I do co sleep. It doesn't make a difference. Part of the night I try to put her in the cot as I am so tired and just want a comfortable space but 90% of the Time, she's in my bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
niger · 29/08/2018 06:21

would giving her a bottle before bed help?!

OP posts:
Cornishclio · 29/08/2018 06:34

Have you tried giving her a bottle or tried some baby rice etc? Years ago weaning stopped the constant wake ups but these days I know the advice is from 6 months. That depends on the baby though so maybe she is hungry. She has also just gone through the 4 month sleep regression and that does mean disrupted sleep as she has to learn to self settle. What is her daytime sleep like?

Sarahani · 29/08/2018 06:44

Where does she sleep and what do you do when she wakes? Does she nap regularly in the day?

Sarahani · 29/08/2018 06:45

And sorry you're having a hard time. My first was an appalling sleeper, you have my biggest sympathies

Foggymist · 29/08/2018 06:48

Is she upset when she wakes? Has she had any cold/bug etc since birth?

DMCWelshCakes · 29/08/2018 06:48

Others are giving you advice, so I'll attempt some reassurance that this really will pass.

DiddyCakes was a terrible sleeper at that age but he did get the hang of it. I remember the sheer exhaustion of it all.

Do you have any other DC or can you carnal throughout the day?

DMCWelshCakes · 29/08/2018 06:49

Dear God what an autocorrect.

CATNAP!!!!!!

mumofone234 · 29/08/2018 06:53

To me, this sounds like the four-month sleep regression. Has she ever slept for longer than this? Do you feed her to sleep? Are you holding her to get her to sleep and then putting her down once she’s off? We struggled a lot at this point and slowly had to adjust what we were doing so that DS was falling asleep on his own with no help from us - so that when he briefly woke up at the end of a sleep cycle the conditions were exactly the same as when he went off. If he woke and found that I wasn’t there, but I had been originally, he’d wake fully and be upset. We had to spend weeks very gradually retreating and adjusting what we did until we were able to put him down semi-awake (and aware) and leave the room before he went off.

Sorry if I’m telling you something you already know!

MaverickSnoopy · 29/08/2018 06:58

Has she been exactly like this since day 1? Mine did the newborn thing and then settled and then between months 5-6 was just like this. In the end I realised we were disturbing her and we put her in a cot in her own room she she slept straight through. I cried with happiness. Not saying it's the same but worth a thought maybe.

PenelopeFlintstone · 29/08/2018 07:00

By the way, in your name change you missed the capital N.
Others will disagree, but I'd give her a bottle of formula and see how she goes.
Feel for you Flowers

Limpshade · 29/08/2018 07:03

Breathe.

How old is she? Formula fed or breast fed? Won't go down during the day, or all night?

I have the same issue with my DD2 but it could be for a completely different reason to you- it's hard to help without the context.

PenelopeFlintstone · 29/08/2018 07:06

OP said bf - breastfed.

Limpshade · 29/08/2018 07:07

Oh sorry, I've just seen you updated with a different name. I'll be back with some advice soon as I know it can be hell!

PenelopeFlintstone · 29/08/2018 07:10

Good point, Limpshade. I'd forgotten about that when I last posted. Sorry.

Original poster
Niger · 29/08/2018 07:22

During the day she has around 2 or 3 naps. It depends how long-term sometimes 40 mins, sometimes over an.hour.

I put her down in her room and she cries for a minute or so and falls asleep.

During the night, she just carries on crying. She wakes the whole house up. I've got other kids too so I don't want to disturb them too much.

After the initial newborn stage she was getting better with her sleep. She could do a 4 hour stretch at the beginning of the night. Now that's a distant memory. It all started getting messed up at around 14 weeks. I thought things would improve but they haven't.

OP posts:
Limpshade · 29/08/2018 07:26

Given her age, it does sound like the 4 month sleep regression. How long has it being going on? When DD1 went through it the every 45-minute wakings only lasted around 10 days, the rest of the time was every 2 hours. It did pass but I sympathise with you as at the time it felt like it never would!

I think you really are going to have to sleep in shifts to keep your sanity. If, as you say, she's not hungry then just give her to your DH for a bit so you can get a couple of hours in (that's assuming you have a downstairs or somewhere enough away from you that you can sleep through it).

What about using a dummy? On DD1's worst nights she would only stay asleep if my nipple was in her mouth. I'd always been anti-dummy with my own baby, but if I could have got her to accept my emergency one back then, I'd have had no problem with it! A few nights is not going to create a forever habit.

How is the sleep during the day? The worse the day naps, the worse the sleep regression gets as they are then overtired to boot. I used to walk DD1 for her first nap (9am) as I found it would make her sleep longer, then the following naps would go easier too (and so too the nighttime).

Remember that cosleeping doesn't work for all babies (certainly not mine or many friends' babies I know of) so don't feel bad if it's not going well. You're doing great!

Limpshade · 29/08/2018 07:30

Ok so her day naps are alright and she'll self-settle too! You are already doing far better than I managed Grin

Given your update about it starting at 3.5 months I'd say it's definitely the dreaded sleep regression. Can you get anyone to watch her during the day so you can catch up on some sleep, ie express some milk and leave them to it? On a weekend maybe? Just while you ride it out.

Original poster
Niger · 29/08/2018 07:39

I don't remember this type of sleep regression with my other two! How long does it last?! She is 23 weeks and I am going to wean her from today. I can't cope.

I can't express- she won't drink from a bottle. Have tried several times. She won't take a dummy either. I've bought 4 different brands/ types!

OP posts:
3WildOnes · 29/08/2018 07:42

At this age I would try some gentle sleep training.

Limpshade · 29/08/2018 07:53

I think in that case and if she is 23 weeks it's more than OK to wean. Good luck!

Also, if you ARE thinking of sleep training, there are some good tips/war stories on the We're Not Sleeping threads.

PenelopeFlintstone · 30/08/2018 11:00

How are you, OP?