DP snorting coke

[MummySharkDoodoododoo]

Right so when we met he said he did the occasional line of coke when really drunk but very rarely and wasn't bothered about it. He wanted kids and I wasn't sure (I had 2 from previous relationship and he didn't have any). One of the things discussed early on was that I wouldn't want to have children with somebody who does drugs. And that would be a definite Nono for me. He agreed and said he wouldn't ever touch it again.

Anyway on a few occasions he did it, when really drunk. Each time he said he wouldn't do it again blah blah blah. Anyway I have found out he has done it again and I don't know what else to do.

He thinks I'm being rediculous because it's on the odd night out, and he tends to stay over at his friends anyway so he isn't coming into the family home when he does it so doesn't see the issue. Wouldn't do it with the kids around but does have issues with drinking too much on a regular basis tho.

Am I stressing over nothing? Or is he being out of order?

The coke isn't your problem here. It's alcohol. You've mentioned he drinks too much and he needs to tackle that

All a bit immaterial, it seems to me. You willingly chose to get involved with someone who does cocaine occasionally and drinks too much on a regular basis. Now you seem surprised when some years and two kids down the road you discover he still does cocaine AND he still drinks too much on a regular basis.

Seriously, what do you expect us to say other than leave, but that sadly you took the gamble and you lost. Shame you chose someone like this to be your kids' father.

I feel bad for you, op

He isn't going to stop. So far you've been doing that thing where you hope against reason that he has changed his ways.

I will give you some sympathy because you haven't had much on this thread. He is the pissed up druggie dickhead, not you. But you do face a choice here....stay if you must but please stop fooling yourself. Or alternatively, decide you and your children deserve better than this and find a way out.

Good luck x

For transparency, I've done coke before and if offered again, I'd like to think I'd say no but if I was blind drunk, I may make the wrong choice. I don't tend to drink much anymore and certainly not with the kids in the house.

Drugs and alcohol are a massive issue in this world but there is help available if you want to look to salvage the relationship.

He said he wouldn't do it.
He did it.
He's an ex.
Bin the drug taking alcohol dependant.

Would be a deal breaker for me. It isn't just the drug taking, it is the lies and lack of respect that would get to me. Also the cost and the fact that money could be spent on better things.