DP snorting coke

[MummySharkDoodoododoo]

Right so when we met he said he did the occasional line of coke when really drunk but very rarely and wasn't bothered about it. He wanted kids and I wasn't sure (I had 2 from previous relationship and he didn't have any). One of the things discussed early on was that I wouldn't want to have children with somebody who does drugs. And that would be a definite Nono for me. He agreed and said he wouldn't ever touch it again.

Anyway on a few occasions he did it, when really drunk. Each time he said he wouldn't do it again blah blah blah. Anyway I have found out he has done it again and I don't know what else to do.

He thinks I'm being rediculous because it's on the odd night out, and he tends to stay over at his friends anyway so he isn't coming into the family home when he does it so doesn't see the issue. Wouldn't do it with the kids around but does have issues with drinking too much on a regular basis tho.

Am I stressing over nothing? Or is he being out of order?

Bin him OP. You are worth more than this.

He’s into drugs and that’s not a healthy place to be.

Definitely bin him. You’ve told him you won’t have children with someone who takes drugs. He has put the drugs and his social life ahead of having children.

Fuck that shit!
I hate drugs. What started out as occasional use, ended up tearing my family apart.

If he’s regularly drinking and only does it when drunk he’s regularly doing it too just because he’s only been caught a few times doesn’t mean he hasn’t been doing it.

The lies are also a major red flag for me and the promises to stop/not seeing an issue with it.

He's a liar. Get rid. Do not get pregnant to him.

Where’s he getting it from? Who knows whether he’d bring it in your house when he gets dependant, and he will. If he isn't already, he can’t stop for you...

Bin him. You’ve drawn your line and he has crossed it, many times. Apart from him drinking too much and using drugs, does he actually respect your opinion at all? Because it doesn’t look like it.

He may say it's only odd time, but clearly he puts taking drugs over having kids - in other words he could not hold back. That could get serious for you later. I'd really consider leaving. Sorry.

Don't give ultimatums you can't keep

You are either ok with him using coke or you are not

3.5 billion other fish and plenty of those will not be drunks or druggies. raise your standards, especially as you have kids.

help the species, bin and certainly do not breed more of these.

Coke is really morish. He clearly doesn't want to stop it.

If it's your deal-breaker, leave him.

He doesn't believe you'll end it. I'm not convinced either. You've forgiven him a few times and are still with him. Your threat is hollow.

You could have wrote my story OP. Lied constantly too, always the drinks fault. I finally left 2 years after I found out. Wish I'd left sooner. Don't believe the lies. He's shown you who he is.

Seen this before..
One partner does t like other partner doing whatever.. partner does whatever.. bit of a row, bit of upset, promises not to do it again with etc but nothing really changes so they've basically got away with it and will continue doing whatever.

No point to it..
Either bin him off or accept you're with a druggie.

Sorry I left out a major detail where I was rushing. Meant to say we then had 2 Children together, both have Special needs and are really hard work. So 4 in total now, 2 are his.

Yes, major detail to miss out

So you went ahead and had the dc anyway. Oh well.

I think you need to accept that he's a coke user because you never went through with your ultimatums.

ah.

no more please!!!

My DP was an occasional coke user when I met him, I had 3 kids, we both wanted more, I told him it’s a family or coke and meant it, we waited over a year to start trying after he stopped his ‘payday blowouts’ and ditched all his partying ‘mates’. We’ve never looked back and he made a real commitment to our family. My point is he didn’t waiver or slip up at all. He knew what he wanted and what the cost was, if he keeps falling back into old habits I’m afraid he’s not the man you WANT him to be

I have special needs kids too. Bin him. He isn't committed to you or his DC. He can have supervised visitation rights since he puts drugs before his responsibilities to his DC let alone the mother of his DC. You don't need the stress. If he cleans his act up he is welcome back. Until then no. You can't afford to take on his problems as well as the problems of disabled DC.

Yeah, get rid of the twat. He’ll never change. Shame you had two DC with him but that’s obviously something you can’t go back on now. You can, however, change being with a druggy cunt.

Shop him to the cops (but be prepared for the SS to get involved).

You know the answer, so why ask here?

Ditch him, for druggies the shit they take always comes first.

Anyfucker - I didn't go ahead and do it anyway, I thought he had stopped but then after having kids found out he still did it on the odd occasion. We are talking a few times a year I think. He blames it on the drink, saying he makes stupid decisions when drunk. But he gets really drunk every time he has a night off (he works nights).

If he only does it when drinking and he drinks regularly - thus regularly increasing the likelihood he'll do coke - then he can't just promise to quit coke. He has to quit drinking too. I suspect he won't, so if the coke is a dealbreaker for you, he's broken the deal.