Numpty injuries

[thinkofablinkingnamewoman]

I felt very stupid this morning. We have a reed diffuser in our bedroom. It's lost its scent and I can't find the same one. There were some different in the supermarket this morning, including on offer.

I didn't want to buy one unsniffed but noticed that there were some room sprays in the same scents. So I picked one up to have a sniff and promptly sprayed it in my face - up my nose, in my eyes, everywhere. I had to be rescued by a lovely assistant who provided wipes and tissues. I can still taste the damn thing and no I didn't buy it.

Make me feel better as I've got form for this. At the beginning of the summer I found a great pestle and mortar in a charity shop. I was showing my friend just how heavy it was - and dropped it on my foot. Toe broken, pestle and mortar fine.

I managed to cut my hand on a blunt serving spoon.
Not an injury but I once glued my shoe to the cooker.

I need to know more about the shoe/cooker

Oh, it was quite normal for me
The sole of my shoe was coming off so I glued it back on, with the shoe being on the cooker.
The shoe was then glued to the cooker, the cooker was covered in glue, my hand wasn't far behind and it was all just a bit of a nightmare.
Long story short, I'm no longer allowed to touch superglue.

I nearly broke my arm resetting the trip counter in the car by putting my hand through the steering wheel whilst going round a bend.

I once tried to clear the grass clog from a turned on lawn mower in my younger days.... If it wasn't for a neighbour running towards me screaming stop I would probably be minus a hand at best.

I tried to show the rabbit her new tunnel wasn't dangerous by kneeling down and putting my hand/arm through it, I tripped and tried to save myself. I ended up with my head stuck in the tunnel and 2 broken fingers, my husband thought it best to call our neighbour who brought his mates and the fire engine to cut me free 🙄😔

DH had to go to A&E and be admitted for surgery for not chewing a steak properly so that it got stuck at the bottom of his throat!

I once dislocated my kneecap when being tickled, and it was knocked back in when the paramedics carrying me down a spiral staircase dropped me and bounced me off a wall.

Job done!

Working the till at market, dropped 20 lbs frozen turkey on my foot. Crutches and cast for 6 weeks

DD was doing the washing up and dropped a stack of 8 dinner plates on her toe when transferring then to the cupboard. Toe was not broken thankfully but the nail went very black and we had a trip to A&E where they drilled through the nail to release the pressure. And she broke 4 plates!! Her toe still looks horrible 3 years later.

Not an injury accident but quite a mess... I was in one of those bits and pieces gadget shops and they had squeezable stress balls and things. I picked one up and squeezed as you do and it exploded gunk ALL OVER me and the shelves and a couple of other customers 😲🤭

That stuff would not come off. It was like sticky glue. It stuck to tissues and paper towels, had to go and buy wet wipes and it still didn't come off clothing. 😦

I'm torn between laughing and feeling sorry for you all. But I don't feel alone anyway!

I was trying to move into the spare room for the night because DH’s snoring was horrendous. In my effort to be quiet and not wake him, I walked right into the corner of the wooden bed! I will add a photo of my bruised shin to show how bad it was. It took 4 weeks for the bruise to heal.

I was a zumba instructor and managed to punch myself in the face whilst instructing.

I'm the person at the 10 pin bowling alley that decided to ignore the warning sign saying not to put your hand in the thingy that returns the balls. Resulting in one broken little finger.

I stupidly reached out and caught a spiky cactus that I'd knocked off with the lead of the vacuum. My hand looked like something out of a cartoon with spikes everywhere, really hurt as well!

Not me but I read on here years ago about someone going up the stairs carrying laundry. Noticed a sock on the stair, leant over the pick it it up but it was actually on her foot so ended up backwards somersaulting down the stairs.
I nearly wet myself at that! 🤣🤣🤣

ContraryToPopularBelief

😂

Not injured by this (other than my pride) but the hotel we were staying at last week had those yellow plastic Caution Wet Floor notices up all over the lobby (monsoon/ tropical rains) and I kept tripping over them...

😂🤣 These are hilarious!

1st visit to stay with future PIL. Got up in the night to get a glass of water. Didn't know where the light switch was and realised, almost too late that I was about to step on precious Siamese cat on floor by the sink. Kind of skipped over the cat, fell directly on the end of my big toe, ripping off the toenail and bleeding profusely all over the floor 😬
1st impressions and all (didn't stand on the cat though!)

I nearly took myself out today by trying to drop a table on its side down the stairs at work. I forgot to get out of the way of the back legs as it slid at 100 miles an hour zipping down the stairs. Luckily I had my legs whipped out by the speed and landed on my bum on the metal stair guard things. Ouch.
Fortunately I was alone....

I immaced my teeth, thought it was toothpaste. Bleeding gums fucking hurt.

Got loads of form for this...
Fell out of the loft and was stuck on the landing floor for an hour with a broken ankle. Kids just kept walking over me to get to the bathroom whilst I waited for DH to get home from work.

Slipped on a drain cover after a Manic Street Preachers gig and broke wrist. Was a bit tired and emotional after a Xmas do and has a plastic ring from a cracker on broken hand. Lovely nurse put it in a specimen bottle for me to take home.

I have done loads - tripped over a toddler’s ball and broke my wrist and a metatarsal in my foot at same time.

Slipped on the back of a brides dress on a dance floor and broke other wrist.

Slipped over on a grassy bank and broke 3 toes.

I stood too close to the ironing board whilst ironing and burnt my stomach......i'm not allowed to iron now....😂