Numpty injuries

[thinkofablinkingnamewoman]

I felt very stupid this morning. We have a reed diffuser in our bedroom. It's lost its scent and I can't find the same one. There were some different in the supermarket this morning, including on offer.

I didn't want to buy one unsniffed but noticed that there were some room sprays in the same scents. So I picked one up to have a sniff and promptly sprayed it in my face - up my nose, in my eyes, everywhere. I had to be rescued by a lovely assistant who provided wipes and tissues. I can still taste the damn thing and no I didn't buy it.

Make me feel better as I've got form for this. At the beginning of the summer I found a great pestle and mortar in a charity shop. I was showing my friend just how heavy it was - and dropped it on my foot. Toe broken, pestle and mortar fine.

I was cutting down a bush in the garden and was raking up the leaves and branches as i did it.
The rake was on the ground and i stood on the teeth of i the wooden handle came straight up and hit me on the head.So much blood!
I had an egg sized bump and now have an inch long scar.
My worst one though, I was changing a lightbulb and t he ladder collapsed underneath me, broke my foot and developed a fear of ladders!

Oh the ironing board story reminds me of the time I smelled the lovely, freshly washed and ironed clothing, whilst it was still on the ironing board, and put my cheek too close to the iron, big blister on my cheek.

I have said before on Mn but fell into a bus and broke a metatarsal in my foot which resulted in a cast for 6/7weeks.

Not an injury but wore ripped leggings out boating, tanned well and had panini looking legs for my wedding day....

I have been howling with laughter at these and then I remembered my most stupid injury. When I was still at uni, I ironed a summer blouse that I wanted to wear. I put it straight on and realised that the lapel/ collar wasn't lying quite right. I picked up the iron and tried to rectify the matter. I ended up with a nearly two inch brown blister scar straight up my cleavage from where the steam shot out. It really hurt and I felt so stupid!

I broke my nose once when drunk vomiting and my foot slipped in the toilet cubicle and I headbutted the toilet seat. I also burned my top lip with a pair of curling tongs and ended up with a massive blister.

When I was 18 I lived with my dad and was cooking dinner for my boyfriend. I hadn’t just got out of the shower and had sprayed deodorant and put my dressing gown on. Went into the kitchen to light the hob and my dressing gown went up in flames (deodorant) and my boyfriend quickly tore it off leaving me standing there in my underwear....my dad ran in to hear what the screams were for just in time to see the whole tearing off of the dressing gown but didn’t see the flame! Awkward evening all round!

Drunken night out in my teens. I was smoking and managed to drop fab ash down my bra. Couldn't get it out in my drunken state and ended up with 3 blisters on the bottom of my left boob

In the middle of the night, attempted to pull my duvet up over my shoulders but my hand slipped off and I punched myself really hard in the face. Nose bled all over my lovely new bedding. 😂

I have just sprained my ankle slipping on a Bounce tumble dryer sheet which was lurking on the floor of the utility.

They are badly named.
I did not Bounce.

I shaved off the very tip of my nose whilst trying to see if the razor I found in the shower was rusty. Safety razor my arse!

I shaved a significant chunk off the end of my thumb...
Using a fucking sharp Sellotape dispenser