My kids are not having the childhood I would like them to and I don't think there's anything I can do

[losenotloose]

It makes me feel terrible, my heart aches. On the good side, they have two involved parents, everything they need materially, meals out, day trips, swimming lessons etc. But they are not out playing with their friends, socialising, exploring, gaining independence.

They both have friends at school, and dc2 has friends round to play after school here and there, but that's almost it. Over the holiday ds1 has gone swimming with a friend twice and ds2 has been to a friend's house once. They're stuck with us far too much. I long for them to be out and about having a wonderful summer. Ds2 doesn't seem too bothered but ds1 is 12 and it's having a bad affect on him. He has said himself he wants to be away from us and I get how he feels.

I don't expect any answers just need to get it off my chest, and maybe some sympathy.

Thanks

He had a phone which broke but it didn't help him when he had it. He seemed to be part of so many chats that he couldn't keep up with. He just stopped reading his messages in the end. But I do need to replace it as it will become more important with time.

Regarding camping, we go every year (on our own, sadly) and people are always in their own groups, they don't make any friends.

Can I ask which bit of london you are in?

We are in London, DD is 15 and we don't have this problem. We live very near to her school so lots of her friends congregate here, they all use social media, they are able to pay for things like cinema and I can top up the balance on her card within moments if they meet at Starbucks or go to McDonald's etc. They're quite independent, e.g. going to Notting Hill carnival for the first time this weekend. I went to school a long way from home and had no local friends as a teen but I used to stay over at friend's a lot in order to socialise

I know someone with a girl and boy and the boy is very much like your
eldest. However he cycles and has made friends with people in a cycling club, life is now taking off for him.

We're in crystal palace

I only ask because this is exactly what I'm worried about with us staying in London. Is Crystal Palace not relatively safe? Can you not give them a bit more freedom?

I went to school a long way away from where I lived in London, and I definitely feel like I would like to provide a more local outlook for my own kids. However, I think every situation has it's pitfalls. And you don't know for sure that it wouldn't be the same problem in another location.