Heartbroken. My child is suicidal, anyone have advice/experience?

[QueenArseClangers]

DS is very ill. After a suicide attempt a few days ago it’s been decided he’d be better as an inpatient at a CAMHS unit.

Has anyone got any advice please? My poor, poor baby boy.

My sister was admitted to hospital with serious mental health issues a few years ago - depression, self-harm, and really grim hallucinations. Much therapy and various switches in meds later, she’s doing brilliantly. She graduated uni, she volunteered 2 summers in neuroscience research, and this summer she’s looked after my DD and done a remarkable job at it. There’s always a chance of a full turnaround. That said, I remember one of the hardest things for our family at the time (without wanting to make it about us), was... is this our fault? I know how hideous that tiny voice in the back of the mind can be. And in the throes of depression, people can say some horrid things as well. We just tried to remind ourselves - we love her, and we’ve always done our best, and we’ll always love her, and we’ll always do our best. Big hugs, OP. You’ll get through this.

Just been visiting DS. The ward seems nice and the staff lovely.
He’s been teaching kids how to play blackjack (and probably gamble!) and playing on the games console. I’m so relieved that he’s safe. Won’t see the consultant until after Monday but they’re planning nice things.

I am so very sorry for you. I work with teenagers and in the last 10 years, the number of challenging mental health problems they are facing has skyrocketed. It’s hard seeing so many beautiful, talented young people in such despair. It sounds like you have given him the best possible support and you should be proud that he is able to discuss his problems with you and that you have secured him the help he needs. Well done.
My husband suffered with profound depression for 20+ years and only sought help when we found out we were pregnant. He still has occasional wobbly days, but is also capable of experiencing real joy now after a lifetime of sorrow. People can fight this and can move forward to live beautiful lives. Praying for you x

That's a great update Queen. It must be such a relief. A hard road ahead but it's reassuring that you feel he's in a good environment with people you liked.

Big hugs.

He is getting the help he needs - and that's the most important thing.

I was that child when I was 15, but I didn't get any help; it was all swept under the carpet. Consequently I have struggled with MH issues for most of my adult life. It's only now, when I'm almost 40, that I've gone for counselling and started addressing the problems that have been at the root of these issues.

You are doing the right thing and sound like a lovely and supportive Mum. Your DS is lucky to have you

Look after yourself. You are a lovely mum and it sounds as though your boy has a wonderfully supportive family around him. I had to give myself a good talking to when a similar thing happened and imagine a sort of glass door sliding between me and my distressed loved one. I could see them through it, and love and support them through it, but it was a protective layer to enable me to stay well myself and look after the rest of my family. It was almost as if I could see/ feel this barrier which gave me strength to carry on. Your boy is safe with experts who selflessly work with very ill people to help them get better. Rest, sleep and see friends, go outdoors for walks etc while you can. 💐

Oh what a brilliant update

I really hope it puts your mind at rest enough to get some sleep x

Hi OP My DD self-harmed and also took 2 overdoses, so I completely feel your pain. After the second time we were extremely lucky that medical insurance paid for her to see a private psychiatrist who was highly experienced with working with teens. He would only prescribe Fluoxetine. Because it was overdoses, we locked away all medication and just gave her the Fluoxetine dose each day. We were very let down by CAMHS, so I do hope they are better where you are. We paid for her to see a private therapist - she wouldn't be alive today if we hadn't (IMO), but I'm not saying that this is the best option for you.

I felt incredibly guilty about it all. Now I can just about convince myself that it wasn't my fault - she had an illness and the ODs were part of that illness.

One thing I do know is that you need to do whatever you can to look after yourself. I could only sleep for about 2-3 hours a night and could barely eat because my body went into "fight or flight" mode. You can only exist like that for a certain amount of time. I really hope that you have someone to talk to irl, but I'm more than happy to share my experience with you x

P.S. DD still has anxiety, but she hasn't self-harmed in over 2 years. She did very well at college and is about to start her career.