Heartbroken. My child is suicidal, anyone have advice/experience?

[QueenArseClangers]

DS is very ill. After a suicide attempt a few days ago it’s been decided he’d be better as an inpatient at a CAMHS unit.

Has anyone got any advice please? My poor, poor baby boy.

I don't think I'm outing myself or my friend if I tell you that she's a clinical psychologist. I just wanted you to know that this can happen to anyone and its not a reflection on your parenting.

Thinking of you, I wish I could say something worth remembering.

My ds2 developed mental health issues at university and had thoughts of suicide, I worry every day when he’s away from home.

The very best to you and your boy .

Ah shit

I’ve been in your son’s position. It was shit for my family

How are you doing today @QueenArseClangers? X

We’re waiting for a CAMHS woman from the local unit to come for an assessment. Might not be a bed for him.

So sorry to hear about your boy. Sending you hugs and best wishes.

Im there with you . My sd lives with us due to mental health. Its horrendous. Take every bit of help your offered dont be proud. Listen without judgement you will become a punching bag emotiinally. So make sure your gp knows. Also apply for pip to help out finicially. Im here if you everever ant to chat.

Just had the visit, they want to get him a bed asap. Might be up to 50 miles away if there’s none locally.
Waiting for the CAMHS people to discuss with consultant.

In a way it’ll be a relief. Feels like we’re on house arrest at the mo, or having a newborn. Not sleeping properly and checking on his sleeping form every few hours during the night.
His siblings have been fantastic, our plans for days out and nipping out spontaneously are on hold. His brothers and sisters haven’t complained once and have been so kind.

I have been here and my heart breaks for you. I can remember not being able to breathe with fear of what was happening and what it meant for my son. It’s not easy but in the long run it will hopefully get him the recognition of how ill he is and the help he needs. I have no words to take the pain away but you will both come through it. Sending you love x

Just seen you are getting a bed. I hope it’s near but beds are so limited. I understand the life on hold and praying he remains safe while you sleep. It is the weekend so if he gets a bed today I don’t think much will happen until Tuesday. Ours was over an Easter weekend and it felt like forever. Life does settle down into an abnormal normal. We brought things from home with us but they were strict with what he could have. Magazines had to have staples removed etc. Hopefully the bed will be local as it makes normality and visits easier

Sorry it's happening to you OP.

It's good news that they found a bed, he will be under care and you can have a breather at home.

Be kind to yourself. Get out of the house, do some physical stuff - walks, massage, that type of thing, it helps with the tension in you. Talk to a trusted friend, if you can.

Conserve your strength, now is the time to choose your battles, it might take a while for things to settle.

Queen I am so sorry you are all going through this. My brother has suffered with similar for years; being an inpatient was never an option as there were just no places available. Im sure his outcomes woulf have been so much better had he been able to access support as a teenager.

Do make sure you look after yourself. I know at the moment you are just trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but don't neglect yourself.

my eldest overdosed last year. she's still with us, still working through some tough times, still asking for and receiving help. she was never admitted, which means we're still working with cahms outpatient gears grinding on a seemingly geological scale. i feel as though i haven't breathed properly in months...

he will get intensive assessment and help as an inpatient. you will get a chance to discuss amongst yourselves as a family how you go forwards. do you have a supportive partner? wider family?

i've also been the suicidal one, the cause of others worry and distress. was diagnosed with asd last year. eldest is on asd assessment pathway. it's a long and tangled path, with no single moment of resolution. sending all good thoughts and wishes your way. for the moment hold him - if he'll let you - and be held, by your other kids, and in our thoughts.

i'll be checking in on this thread and my inbox is always open if it would help to let off steam in "private" at all. love and strength to you all x

Thank you all so very much for sharing your experiences and advice with me. You have no idea what that means to me. You are all such wonderful humans.

He’s just gone with his dad to the unit. Luckily it’s local so really grateful for that.

Me and his dad are divorced and have been for virtually all his life and get on quite well (he has a lovely step mother too who has been fantastic).
My own DH is amazingly supportive. He’s been my gatekeeper and facilitator in looking after DS. He’s been working full time but just cracking on with stuff and making sure everything is in place for me to support DS.
He likened it to the newborn phase where I was breastfeeding/baby stuff and he looked after me so I could do it. Couldn’t ask for a better husband.

Know it sounds selfish but i’m looking forward to sleeping with both eyes closed tonight. Not getting to check DS every couple of hours. We’ve all been a bit cabin feverish too.

Think I’ll have a glass of wine in the bath tonight and watch something non upsetting.

The very best to all of you x

Bloody hell that doesn’t sound selfish AT ALL. Don’t ever think that it is

Unfortunately now more than ever, you are your family’s glue. So you need to find ways (even little ways like an early night) to be kind to yourself. Don’t underestimate just how stressful this is for you.

He’s got a bed and he’s safe. Use this time as well as you can to charge your batteries x

Not selfish at all.
I really hope you are able to focus on you for a while - like the air safety instructions tell you, you have to out on your oxygen mask before helping your child.
Wishing the whole family well.

Handhold for you OP, it's so hard. Wishing you all the best

Been where you are, but with my husband , not my child. Well remember the relief of sleeping with both eyes closed! Easy to say that he is in the best place, but he really is. Try to get some rest and look after yourself. Some day all this will be a distant memory. It is for us now, and life is good again.

Rings lots of bells with me.
Take good care of yourself, this is not your fault and you cannot change it.

Thinking of you all

He sounds as though he has a very very loving & supportive family, Thinking of you all

Your last post made me well up. I hope you get a good night's rest

You are not selfish. You need to be strong and you need to look after yourself.

I just want to say, good luck with everything. I hope things improve soon. Thinking of you

When I was 15, and again at 18 I was suicidal, very close to it and felt so alone. Desperately needed support and you sound like an amazing parent. Hope things get better very very soon, he's in the best place xxx