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Original poster

Do most people have backup childcare?

63 replies

Queuegardens · 21/08/2018 21:14

Just in the middle of a horrendous week where our nanny is sick - coming after a week where I forgot she had some leave booked and found myself completely without childcare (obvs that second example was totally my fault, a dumb error I made when knackered and busy a month or so ago).

DH and each took some days off between us and we have done much punishing late night working from home to make up hours.

DC are 2 and 4. What do you do when your main childcare falls through? We don't have any family support. Have you got any tips for a 'second string' option? Is it just about networking with friends and returning favours, or do peoole have ongoing relationships with child minders or other nannies to help in emergency? I've found it impossible to get anyone to help at short notice during the summer hols as all local childminders seem stuffed or on hol themselves. I'd love any other tips.

Wondered if people thought we were being silly not having another emergency option...or if it's normal and most people just take their chances and suck up the panicky work problems?!

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 21/08/2018 21:18

Nope. We have flexible and understanding employers and just take time off work. If I was really desperate I’d ask my mum but that would be a last resort as she is unreliable and “Disney Grandma” (i know that’s not a thing but you know what o mean!) and doesn’t like doing the boring but important things. She also works part time and freelance so she might not be available anyway.

NerrSnerr · 21/08/2018 21:20

No, we use nursery but when our children are ill it's us and only us who can deal with it. We use carers leave and if that runs out we use annual or unpaid leave.

NameChange30 · 21/08/2018 21:20

PS We do send our son to nursery and the need for reliability was a factor in our choice of childcare. Obviously not the only factor! We also really like the nursery and DS likes it too.

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Childcare & nursery Families
Faster · 21/08/2018 21:21

I don’t have back up childcare. DS is looked after with a combo of nursery and family. I’m a single parent, if I have to take the day off to look after him then I don’t get paid.

FogCutter · 21/08/2018 21:22

Nope.

We have no family nearby so chose a nursery (open 52 weeks a year) then before/ after school clubs for our kids so we wouldn't have to find alternative childcare when a nanny or childminder was ill or on holiday.

We cover the kids being ill by using our emergency or annual leave.

Katescurios · 21/08/2018 21:22

No, just have to take time off work. My parents are both deceased, my MIL is wonderful but work full time compressed into 4 days so she can have DD 1 day a week. No friends who could or would take her for the day, thankfuly work are flexible and i can make up time in the evening or work feom home if needed.

missmapp · 21/08/2018 21:24

We have friends who will help in an emergency, but not for a week or when they are ill. We share the time off work and are guilty of dosing with Calpol and sending them in. We now have a great childminder who is more flexible but still have difficulties especially when they are ill.

ElinorOliphantIsCompletelyFine · 21/08/2018 21:24

Reliability is the main reason why we went with a nursery. If DS is ill, or they're closed due to unforseen reasons (like snow!), one of us takes time off.

TheWineDarkSea · 21/08/2018 21:25

I do have back up (local grandparents) and we can both work from home / flexibly but I don’t expect anyone in my team to do anything than run and call in a handover of anything urgent from the train if nursery / school / nanny calls to say their child is ill and they need to get home.

BitchQueen90 · 21/08/2018 21:25

No. DS is at school and family have helped me out over the holidays but I don't have any emergency childcare if DS is unwell or similar. What I do have is lovely employers who are happy for me to take unpaid days off when I need them. I work in a very junior position so it's not a huge crisis when I'm off, I just have more to do when I get back.

Lucked · 21/08/2018 21:29

Before school I used nursery rather than nanny or childminder in part because I didn’t want to have to contend with holidays and sickness affecting availability.

Family will travel 200
miles if they are available and we are really stuck but difficult at shoe notice as they have commitments.

Now that they are in school we used a combination of family (driving 400 miles at the weekends so we could leave them for a week), sport based club and an actual childcare company. It worked out quite well.

SassitudeandSparkle · 21/08/2018 21:29

Nothing here either - it's the main reason I don't work, although that may change as my DD is older now. But even when we lived near family, my mum was immuno-suppressed so couldn't look after a sick child.

DH's company has let him start late and finish early when he had to look after DD and do the school run when I was unexpectedly hospitalised.

C0untDucku1a · 21/08/2018 21:31

I stay as a teacher. A job i really dislike. So i have the same school holidays. Theres a holiday / out of school Hours club they have attended and can do adhoc days if necessary. We have parents nearby. And it is still difficult sometimes!

thousandpapercranes · 21/08/2018 21:32

I don’t have local family backup, I’ve been lucky enough to not need much childcare as I can work around the children. I have a sitter, 2 ad hoc nanny’s plus a childminder, between them there’s usually someone free. If all else fails, I use a nanny agency, It’s not cheap at £18 ph!

Shrunkenhead · 21/08/2018 21:34

My dd is usually at school. But if I have to start work early or stay late I can put her in before/after school club. In the hols I have to find clubs for her to go to, take 2 weeks off, rally some teacher friends/SAHMs to help and sometimes just have to take her with me to work. I have no family close by.

SewButtons · 21/08/2018 21:38

From the other side- I am a Nanny and if I’m off sick then I offer to ask around nannies that I know to see if anyone is able to look after the kids so that my bosses can still work- always people that the children know. When I had to take time off to travel for a funeral a Nanny friend of mine was able to cover for me and look after my charges as well as her own.

Otherwise I’ve had parents use a mix of working from home, grandparents, unpaid leave, emergency agency nannies, and other babysitters as backup care.

Are you able to ask your nanny if she has any play date favours owed to her? I presume your two yr old still naps so if you could get your 4yr old sorted with an afternoon play date then hopefully you could still get a fair amount of work done over the afternoon.

Original poster
Queuegardens · 22/08/2018 05:57

Thank you Sew that's a good idea, we are doing something a bit like that today! I think our nanny could be a bit more proactive in helping us find alternatives if she's sick, but it happens very rarely and she is lovely and very reliable in other ways.

And thanks all. sounds like there is no magic bullet! To be clear I don't want alternatives for when the children themselves are ill - I would happily take off all the time in the world as they need me. It's when they are fine, but other logistics don't work, that I resent having to work til midnight just because we don't have alternatives!

Nursery would be more reliable than a nanny. But then if the kids are a bit poorly (but not poorly enough for me to drop everything but too poorly to be sent in) a nanny is better...
so swings and roundabouts i guess.

OP posts:
LaPufalina · 22/08/2018 06:03

I have a (reliable and lovely) MIL within 20 miles, and a DH who's a teacher, which covers 1/4 of the year. My job is pretty flexible so when our toddler has been unwell I've been able to take a half day of holiday and work during her nap and evening.

olympicsrock · 22/08/2018 06:07

I don’t think it’s your nanny’s responsibility to help you find childcare when she’s sick.

SandysMam · 22/08/2018 06:14

I feel extremely envious of people with fit, well and willing parents for emergency childcare. It is so hard without and colleagues can be disparaging when I have to leave early or can’t come in. Not sure what they expect me to do (although a wild guess what be not to work!).

SandysMam · 22/08/2018 06:14

Would be not to work FFS phone!

TipseyTorvey · 22/08/2018 06:20

We had a nanny, she started off brilliantly and then started calling in sick lots of times. Not out of spite or laziness but if she had a cold she'd say she was too ill. Got to the point where we dreaded the 7am text from her to say she wasn't coming in. We tried to explain that 20 days sick in 30 months was too many and she got better then started up again. We found a random nursery that would take the youngest ad-hoc but it wasn't ideal and incredibly stressful as DH and I do not have the kind of jobs where you can just 'not show up' without prior planning.

When we eventually parted ways with her we went for nursery and pre/after school clubs which is WAY better. Mornings and picks up are a rush but its predictable stress. This childcare is never suddenly not happening. We don't have any family to support and both have to work so this works for us. I'd never rely on a single point of failure again.

Mytwistedimagination · 22/08/2018 06:22

Nope. I never had any help with childcare, beyond paid days at nursery/preschool. Dh works away for months at a time, so I ended up going pt, then giving up. Not fully happy with that decision.

PotteringAlong · 22/08/2018 06:25

I’m a teacher and won’t leave teaching until the children are older. We chose a nursery for childcare because we physically couldn’t cover if a childminder / nanny was sick or on holiday so I needed to remove that option.

I was with you until this statement I think our nanny could be a bit more proactive in helping us find alternatives if she's sick and that is absolutely not her job or her problem.

AlbusPercival · 22/08/2018 06:38

If short notice, eg traffic coming home I have a couple of neighbours who would watch DS for me.

If childminders are off gp will come if not a work or other plans.

Very lucky that work subsidises emergency childcare. They have an agency that will get in a temp nanny for very minimal cost 5 days a year to enable you to work. Very forward thinking policy. Have used it a couple of times. It was a bit weird leaving a total stranger with my baby, but they were both great

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