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Original poster

Do most people have backup childcare?

63 replies

Queuegardens · 21/08/2018 21:14

Just in the middle of a horrendous week where our nanny is sick - coming after a week where I forgot she had some leave booked and found myself completely without childcare (obvs that second example was totally my fault, a dumb error I made when knackered and busy a month or so ago).

DH and each took some days off between us and we have done much punishing late night working from home to make up hours.

DC are 2 and 4. What do you do when your main childcare falls through? We don't have any family support. Have you got any tips for a 'second string' option? Is it just about networking with friends and returning favours, or do peoole have ongoing relationships with child minders or other nannies to help in emergency? I've found it impossible to get anyone to help at short notice during the summer hols as all local childminders seem stuffed or on hol themselves. I'd love any other tips.

Wondered if people thought we were being silly not having another emergency option...or if it's normal and most people just take their chances and suck up the panicky work problems?!

OP posts:
LaPufalina · 22/08/2018 06:40

Albus that's a great policy addition to any family-friendly employer!

BIWI · 22/08/2018 06:47

When my DC were small we had nannies. I was always very thankful and grateful that neither nanny (we had two, consecutively) were ill very often! We didn't have much family support, as my parents were over 200 miles away, and both had busy lives. They would have come to us if really necessary, but it would have been difficult for them. PILs also 200 miles away, and would drop anything to come to us, but were older and so it was more difficult for them (and a bit worrying for us in terms of how they would cope).

Although DH and I both had understanding employers, we also had pretty demanding jobs, and it wouldn't always have been possible to take time off at short notice.

So we joined a local nanny agency - we also used them for babysitters. Thankfully we only had to use them a couple of times, but it did make life a lot less anxious knowing that we had a reliable back up.

TrappedByATurtle · 22/08/2018 06:51

I don't have back up childcare so I make sure I help out other parents when they need it. I've done emergency childcare whilst one rushed their other child to hospital. I've watched a couple of kids twice whilst their mum went to the doctors in peace. My lovely neighbours are always worried that I'm working and have no help so have offered emergency transport/pick up/watching the DC for an hour. Never taken them up on it because I'm waiting for that emergency! If they are ill, then I call in and ask to work from home. My boss also knows I have no family around to help out so is very understanding.

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Childcare & nursery Families
Original poster
Queuegardens · 22/08/2018 07:02

I don't think it's my nanny's responsibility to find alternative cover either! That's why I don't ask her to. I was responding to SewButtons who said that as a nanny she tries to do this. I think that's a really proactive thing to do and was just commenting that my nanny wasn't like that. it would be going above and beyond if she did do that, but I don't have a problem that she doesn't. Smile

OP posts:
MeetOnTheLedge · 22/08/2018 07:03

This is the main reason we chose nursery, although my parents would have helped if they could they are some distance away and with many other commitments. I had a friend who had unreliable childcare and regularly asked friends for ad-hoc emergency help and it ended up being quite a strain on some of her friendships.

JW1226 · 22/08/2018 07:09

Don't have childcare let alone back up 😂🌸

Original poster
Queuegardens · 22/08/2018 07:24

but presumably your childcare is you, then? Unless you take them to work with you.

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 22/08/2018 07:39

I always found having SSP only in my nannies contract reduced sickness a lot.

I was on a similar contract too for my work initially, then self employed.

PepperSteaks · 22/08/2018 07:43

I’m a teacher so I don’t work during the holidays. I also only work part time at the moment (DD is a baby) so I’m actually very rarely at work Blush.
However I have like 101 people I can ask for emergency childcare. I feel very blessed as there’s always someone who can have her and everyone is so keen to help me out Grin

BikeRunSki · 22/08/2018 08:04

No back up childcare. Nearest relation is 200 miles away and all my friends work! We deal with illness and school closures with annual leave and flexible working (painful late nights to keep on top of things!). DH has been known to take the dc into work a couple of times - once in the 5th snow day in 9 days when everyone else was working except for school; once when dd randomly threw up one evening but seemed otherwise well. But DH is a company director so it’s hus decision! On the snow day, he invited everyone else to bring in their school-less dc and set up dvds, games etc in a conference room.

anniehm · 22/08/2018 08:08

During a holidays a responsible teenager is a good option for 2&4 (minimum 16 years old) ask around, my 17 year old has looked after kids for a whole day to cover au pair holidays. Doesn't work in term time of course, a stay at home mum who could do with cash in hand is an option

hamburgers · 22/08/2018 08:10

Get a temp nanny. Loads of agencies will have readily available last-minute nannies

wendz86 · 22/08/2018 08:21

My childminder was really ill last year and ended up off for a month . I used a mix of help from my parents , another childminder and a neighbour to take my eldest to school .

Original poster
Queuegardens · 22/08/2018 08:22

lots of great suggestions thank you x

OP posts:
Borntobeamum · 22/08/2018 08:26

I used to be a Childminder and marketed myself as emergency cover for anyone who found themselves in your position.
I was also relatively close to a hospital and would step in under some very difficult circumstances when needed.
Maybe worth ringing a couple of cm's to put out feelers x

bengalcat · 22/08/2018 08:29

I used to use a nanny agency - was very rare for nanny or child to be sick - thankfully never had to take a day off myself

greendale17 · 22/08/2018 08:38

We both have very flexible employers so we can take leave at very short notice or just work from home. We have grandparents we can use and even some friends too.

Original poster
Queuegardens · 22/08/2018 08:40

I don't think I could just do SSP for our nanny tho. I'd hate to think of her struggling in when she should be in bed. I would hate it if my employer was like that.

OP posts:
Frazzled2207 · 22/08/2018 08:53

That is one of the main reasons we used a Nursery- far less chance of them being ill messing things up. Doesn't help when they have chicken pox etc however.
Not used myself but a friend uses an emergency nanny agency occasionally (in London where these things are quite common) and has found it works well

Hanuman · 22/08/2018 08:58

Primarily, we use annual leave/bit of work from home for urgent things. We have used a temporary nanny for the odd occasion when our toddler was fine but still within the 48 hour exclusion period from nursery.

sdaisy26 · 22/08/2018 09:02

We are lucky to have grandparents who are able to help, but the ones that are more likely to help are a 90 min drive away so it’s not perfect. That’s more for when dc are ill, or for cover planned in advance eg inset days.

DH & I both teach which is great in holidays but very hard to manage in term time as zero flexibility. Luckily we have a v v reliable cm (& chose nursery when dc were younger) and then also a good network of local friends who we can ask for favours. I always try to say yes to others when asked for favours (as long as practical) because then it’s easier to ask back!

ineedwine99 · 22/08/2018 09:05

Nope, we use a nursery but if she's sick one of us takes holiday or we work from home

museumum · 22/08/2018 09:16

We have one grandparent locally but she does take a lot of holidays so she’s maybe only a 50/50 chance of being around. Dh and I cover between us, neither of us commute far so we have tag-teamed a day before both going in and out 2-3 times to get to all our respective meetings.

waterrat · 22/08/2018 09:23

There is a lovely 19 year old on my street - student - who has done emergency cover for my neighbours a couple of times + babysitting for me.

I think it's a good idea to get to know local childminders even if you aren't using them - my lovely childminder would happily have an extra kid for a day or two - and surely school mums could always help you find someone.

I think it's worth using someone for babysitting just so you know you have an extra back up....

it is hard and it's a reason I've avoided very high stress jobs and stayed freelance...

maggienolia · 22/08/2018 09:29

DCs are older now but I had an increasingly unreliable CM who regularly closed for the whole week when her DGD was ill and regularly for medical appointments. She then closed completely with no notice.
No chance of moving as no other CMS available for school run.
We did all cover ourselves, ILs both dead and df too ill to help.
You forget how tough it is at that time.