Returning to work full time - impact on kids

[Whydoilikebroccoli]

I've had a wonderful 7 years at home with my kids and now it's time to re-enter the workplace. I could get a part time position but we really could do with me earning a full time salary. My dd starts school in September so all kids in school. It's just a massive adjustment psychologically as I've always been able to take the kids to school and pick them up. I've always felt this was important. However, when I go back to work they will require after school care. It makes me feel guilty like I'm not putting their needs first. I worry as DD gets so tired, staying until 530-6 seems too long. I also remember my mum returning to full time work when I was at primary school and really hating having to go to a childminder.

I'm just being a bit precious about the children and also lacking confidence at the change. I'm not even sure what I'm asking for. Experiences maybe?

I had to go back to work full time as I was a single parent (but it paid dividends as I met my lovely second husband!!!). However adding an elderly dad to be cared for into the mix and it got extremely stressful. I went down to part time for a while and then my husband suggested I had some time out as I hadn't really dealt with the subsequent death of my father and the previous death of my lovely mum. Did some voluntary work and then retrained/did OU degree and got into education. Wow, the difference - having the holidays was an absolute joy, and it didn't feel anywhere near the compromise previously. There comes a time when your working days are over, then you'll be glad that you have re-entered the world of work - having workplace pensions makes a huge difference in lifestyle and means being self-reliant in retirement. I recommend it!! Got a great, well-adjusted daughter too!!!!

It ultimately depends on your job though. Working 9-5 full time is probably doable far more easily than 7-7 as a teacher plus evening and weekend work. I totally agreethat it's good to work but it doesn't have to be full time if it doesn't work for your family. It's great that people can work full time but that doesn't mean it works for everyone or that it makes you a failure for saying that full time is too much for a family.

I think only you can know. Can you try it and reduce to part time if you find it isn't working for your family?

Personally, I have chosen to work part time so I am always there at the end of the day. My children get themselves home now (and mostly ignore that I'm even there) but I think it is important. I have chosen not to use any kind of childcare because I want to do it myself. That wouldn't suit everyone though.

We all have to make the choices that suit us.

Tricky.
I worked part time till ds's were a bit older. By about year 4? Aged 9-10, they need you a lot less. Now ds2 is older, I'm currently looking out for a 2nd part time job - because I can work a few more hours now.

I went back to work part time after adoption leave and do a 2 day/3 day alternating week - I also run a business from home which usually takes the other two days but I can work around school drop off/pick up and can to some extent decide how busy I want to be.

It’s busy but flexible enough to be manageable. In saying that, I keep telling people I work part time but I actually work full time hours, just some of them are home based and for myself.

I haven’t read the thread, but I found working part time more stressful than working full time. I worked 3-4 days until kids started school then went back full time and to be honest - it was sooo much easier. Just because the first page appears to be lots of people saying part time is easier.

Remember that after school childcare generally disappears once they’re at secondary schools. It seems to me that stage is as tricky as when they’re younger.

Both DH and I worked FT with demanding jobs with 2 DDs. We lasted 8 years until DH was made redundant. We’re actually better off now with him at home—being busy is expensive and we spent a lot more than we do now because life was mad. Add on the cost of childcare, and it wasn’t worth the stress.

I was always a big believer that both parents could work FT and manage it with no problems. I’m not so sure any more. I actually found it harder when they were at school than when they were at nursery. The DCs wanted to go to clubs, they had homework to do, and we were just constantly running around stressed.

I am guessing that though the extra money is great it is not absolutely critical, in which case what do you WANT to do. DD will cope. Ultimately children get brought up in all sorts of arrangements and most turn out fine. Partly it might depend on what work you can get and how much it motivates you. Listen to the voice in your head and you'll be fine

I find the balance I have just now works well - I have the structure and consistency of part time employment in a job that I can leave and not worry about when I’m not there. I also have the flexibility of self employment that let’s me be available for things happening at school.

I know for me it would be very difficult to work in my employed job full time because the flexibility simply wouldn’t be there and I also know my kids would really struggle being in childcare/school from 8 til 6 every day. So from a work/life balance point of view it work well.