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Bizarre CF story

63 replies

VodkaLimeSoda27 · 17/08/2018 19:31

So, to start off- I'm not a toilet troll, have been around for years (Janet and Roy, penis beaker, Gregg's sausage rolls blah blah blah) but the weirdest thing happened yesterday.

We live in the US, and yesterday one of our neighbours, a guy we know fairly well, knocks on our door. He came in all in a panic, asking for a favour. DH, who is generally too bloody nice for his own good, says what's up, how can we help.

Neighbour then turns to me- and asks for a urine sample! It turns out some random woman on our street has a drug test at work and has asked him to go around trying to get a sample from someone who doesn't smoke weed! For context, drug tests are fairly common in corporate jobs here, have taken them myself. I don't see how she could have got away with bringing in a sample from outside anyway.

At this point I can see DH's face change to a mixture of Confused and Hmm. I said I had just been to the toilet and couldn't go again, to which he said he'd wait! I then told him I wouldn't be comfortable helping someone defraud their employer, to which he said that's fine, went on his way.

Who in their right mind would try and get a random woman to wee in a cup for them?! I understand that she is worried about her job and that he was trying to help her but Shock it was so strange!

OP posts:
Clairetree1 · 17/08/2018 20:40

you could have told him your pee would have failed the drugs test too!

VodkaLimeSoda27 · 17/08/2018 20:41

the catsabsentcojones I also feel uncomfortable with how much power corporations have here (and have experienced this for myself in other ways since we moved out here). However, I didn't feel ok with helping someone defraud their employer either. Apart from anything, we're here on non-resident visas and we have to be careful.

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buttercup54321 · 17/08/2018 20:42

Hmm I wonder if she needs a false pregnancy test for some reason.

VodkaLimeSoda27 · 17/08/2018 20:43

buttercup54321 possible, but there's no way anyone would know that I would give a negative. I'm not even 100% sure of that!

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ReservoirDogs · 17/08/2018 20:46

The funny thing would be when the test comes back and says Vera is cleared for drugs but I never expected to be giving a 62 year old maternity leave!

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/08/2018 20:47

door-to-door sales of my own wee Now there’s something to pitch in the dragons den. Wink

This random drugs test thing is bizarre. I have seen it on American films. Corporations definitely do have too much power.

LanaorAna2 · 17/08/2018 20:52

False pregnancy test gets you a doc's letter that's a passport for some benefit payments - in the UK, at least.

TheSassyAssassin · 17/08/2018 20:55

Used to work for a big American company in the UK and it was in my contract that I could be requested to undergo drugs testing in precisely that way and this was over a decade ago, so it's not entirely uncommon over here either!

VodkaLimeSoda27 · 17/08/2018 21:00

Reservoir Grin try explaining your way out of that one!

Sassy that's interesting, have never heard of it in the UK.

Maternity benefits here are dreadful in general, so I doubt you'd get much out of giving a false positive somewhere. It's one of my main reasons why we're heading home soon. Our system isn't perfect but it is a ton better than here.

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bonquiqui · 17/08/2018 21:33

There was a scene in the series Atlanta where someone tried to cheat a drugs test by smuggling in urine in a condom (kept warm in her bra I think!) Needless to say the pee did not end up in the test cup 😱 Doubt it works in real life either!

Crunchymum · 17/08/2018 22:42

God yeah, you should have said "soz I can't give the sample as I've just jacked up"

Grin
Crunchymum · 17/08/2018 22:47

On a more serious note OP, what are the maternity benefits? (Standard)

I work in the UK office of a US company and we vid-con before I went off on ML, mouths actually hung open when I said "see you in a year" Hmm

VodkaLimeSoda27 · 17/08/2018 23:42

In my last company, it was 8 weeks mat leave. 8 fucking weeks. You could take another 8 unpaid if you wished Hmm. If you are a part-time employee without benefits, you are often entitled to basically nothing. The law says you're protected, but it's total bs tbh.

A year's mat leave is basically unheard of (and with the insane working culture here, you'd probably be considered lazy). There's many good things about the US, but the way companies in general treat their employees is not one of them!

And that's without considering the costs of the birth- even if your insurance covers your OB-GYN, if you need anesthesia/there are unplanned interventions you might have to pay the bill out of pocket. It can run into many thousands of dollars.

So we said "hmm, no thanks, think we'll wait to ttc" and made plans to return. In general though, it has been a great experience, even considering the piss-plea of last night Wink

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