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Has anyone gone on to marry their "lightning bolt"?

42 replies

LightningB · 17/08/2018 17:20

I've met a couple of men over the years where I've experienced what I can only describe as like lightning... You feel a strange mix of nervous excitement around them, butterflies, the atmosphere sizzles. They're constantly in your head, drawn to them like a magnet, day dream about them etc. This current one I have actually dreamed about!

It's strange because in both my experiences they've never been what I've found typically attractive looks wise in a man, but in both cases it's been the way they talk, their voice, even the way they walk and facial expressions. Neither time has anything ever come of it, and this latest one I work with (not closely but same office and we don't really have a reason to speak about much, never had any nights out together etc) so I doubt anything would ever come of it- although I do know he's divorced and single.

My most recent and longest term partner, we had a great relationship but there was never that instant spark, it was more that we got on really well, were attracted to each other and kind of grew to care for each other. This other man makes me genuinely weak at the knees, I've caught him looking up when I enter the room and often wonder if he feels even a tiny bit the same!

So my question... has anyone ever felt this unexplainable overpowering attraction to someone, and if so, did you pursue it and was it anything like you imagined it to be? Did you go the distance?

I hear many people say that it was never like this with the one they ended up with- it was tamer, calmer, steady.. and I wonder if it ever works with the lightning bolt?

OP posts:
tectonicplates · 17/08/2018 17:29

Those sorts of men often turn out to be emotional abusers. They're overly charming so as to reel you in.

hidinginthenightgarden · 17/08/2018 17:32

I agree with tectonic.
Only guy I ever felt that for was emotionally abusive.
DH is someone that is I grew to love and has kept me happier for much longer than those with an "instant connection".
I always thought that the quicker men fall IN love, the quicker they fall OUT of love too.
Seems to be proven in my experience too.

Doidontimmm · 17/08/2018 17:34

I’ve been with mine 2 years now, he is not abusive in anyway, I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

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Bubbaduck · 17/08/2018 17:36

I did. No EA, had that in the past and I'd have run a mile at anything remotely similar. Five years in, very happily married and that feeling is still there every day. Smile

regularbutpanickingabit · 17/08/2018 17:39

Yes. Been together 28 years, married 20 and have 3 kids. I still feel like that when I catch sight of him walking towards me. Life isn't anywhere near perfect and we work bloody hard to keep talking when stuff gets tough. But yes. Wouldn't want to be anywhere else with anyone else. They aren't always abusers, they could just be the right one.

LightningB · 17/08/2018 17:39

tectonic yes I have definitely heard that said before and in fact can relate to that, there was someone who was a definite charmer with a hint of bad boy and I fell really hard and he ended up being very EA and actually quite narc. I don't think this current one is though, he's not actually that charming which is why it's quite strange but he does seem very "manly" in the way he talks, dominant in the way he walks and just generally confident which I think is what attracts me... maybe it's the testosterone and I can subconsciously smell it that's sending me loopy 😂

OP posts:
theunsure · 17/08/2018 17:40

I had an affair with the ligtening bolt, he was married. I wasn’t.
In retrospect he was an arse. But it was electric.

Different with DH as he’s my best friend as well as partner. It’s not lightning bolt but it is a contant buzz.

NonJeNeRegretteRien · 17/08/2018 17:41

Yes. We waited along time to be together though! Now we are (been together nearly ten years) I feel so happy every single day.

APermanentlyExhaustedPigeon · 17/08/2018 17:43

I first met mine about 20 years ago, although we were both in other relationships at the time there was an obvious spark. Fast forward 12 years later, both single, met for a coffee.. been together 6 yrs now, married, 1DC. And yes, I still get the same feeling when I see him walk in the room that I did 20 years ago Smile

LightningB · 17/08/2018 17:44

Oh some positive stories. It's really lovely to hear that you still have those feelings so far down the line. I've never had that with anyone I've been with longer term. I can't even imagine having those butterfly feeling and fannyflutters long term. It must be really wonderful!

OP posts:
Cattenberg · 17/08/2018 17:44

I had a lightning bolt once. We had fantastic chemistry, but he turned out to be a selfish arse.

If I ever meet another lightning bolt, I'll be cautious and take things slowly. My subconscious has terrible taste in men.

troodiedoo · 17/08/2018 17:46

Yes. Together 8 years and married 2.

Didn't act on the lightning bolt for a few years though. Sensible.

Melonsandberriew · 17/08/2018 17:51

Yes

Divorced June 2017

Twitteratti · 17/08/2018 17:55

Yes I did.
I didn't have much hope though...he was 50 and had never been married before.

JellySlice · 17/08/2018 18:00

I've had two. With the first my head was screaming at me "No! Don't! He's and arrogant bastard and he'll break your heart!" To this day I do not know why I had this in my head, but I avoided him.

With the second I felt entirely happy and cherished even before our relationship began. I married him Grin

Tw1nsetAndPearls · 17/08/2018 18:01

Yes, we had fun but it turned very sour and we got divorced

JellySlice · 17/08/2018 18:03

The lightening bolt lasted at least 6m, and was eventually replaced by something calmer and tamer. But the feeling of being cherished never went away. Still hasn't, over 20y later.

Lightening bolt = lust
Tamer thing = love

toothtruth · 17/08/2018 18:04

Yes. But took ten years to tell him how I felt! Now married with two children.

OpalIridescence · 17/08/2018 18:05

Yes I did. Was a terrible idea

KarlDilkington · 17/08/2018 18:09

I married my 'bolt' and he's not an abuser HmmSmile. I met him briefly at a university ball and was immediately weak at the knees, couldn't stop thinking of him for days, all that cliched stuff. We only met again at the next ball about a month later and have been together ever since. 25 years soon Smile

WickedGoodDoge · 17/08/2018 18:09

Yes, in fact he was my only one night stand ever. At least he was supposed to be but he never went away. Grin We we’re engaged after a year, married a year later and have just booked our 20th wedding anniversary for next year at the same place we went on honeymoon.

2 DC, one dog and we’re still going strong. Grin

PenelopeShitStop · 17/08/2018 18:12

Not sure it was a lightning bolt, but within days of meeting I just had this utter certainty that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him.

Over twenty years later, he drives me up the wall at times, but I still look at him every day and think "God you're gorgeous and you're mine". So glad we never ended up just living like fond housemates raising their children together, as happened to so many couples we know.

scarlettoftheseas · 17/08/2018 18:30

My sister did. They married after four months and have 2 daughters, still together 10 years later Smile

Treacletoots · 17/08/2018 18:38

Yep! Married him last year and I still look at him and can't believe how lucky I am 5 years on. He's both the most handsome and kindest man I've ever met and I am forever grateful his ex wife thought she could do better. (Never!)

SchrodingersMeowth · 17/08/2018 18:41

Not married but have been together for about 8 years almost.

He was my first proper lightening bolt “crush”.

I’m 27