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Original poster

Can they sack me?

122 replies

dangermousegoesswimming · 17/08/2018 16:12

I work in a SEN school. I have 3 children. Monday, we go back is an INSET day for both of use, then I have my youngest starting school on half days all week.
My mum is away and my childminder is not working that week.
I am absolutely stuck for childcare. Have rung around several (if not all) in my area. INSET days days cost me about £100 for the three of them and I was willing to do it for my job, (even though that's about double my day's wage).
Also my boy's home visit from his school is on the Wednesday and they 'can't change the appointment'.
A colleague had the same problem a while ago and they took her into the office and really had a go at her about not sorting it out. She was really worried they'd sack her. They sent a letter around to everyone afterwards about taking time off.

What choice do I have?

I don't have any friends who I could ask.
I don't know what to do really.

OP posts:
Nononannette · 17/08/2018 17:38

Isn't it your ex's turn for the dcs?
Since he is well off can't he pay for an emergency nanny

Nononannette · 17/08/2018 17:39

You absolutely cannot bring the children in! Lots of confidential stuff. It's a working day

PolkerrisBeach · 17/08/2018 17:42

I might just take all the kids with me

Yeah, that's sensible. Hmm

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Childcare & nursery Families
loubielou31 · 17/08/2018 17:42

Could you take your children into school with you on the Inset day? Not ideal I know but better than not attending? Stick them in a classroom with tablets and DVD's etc.
Yes children can be full time even if the school has a phased start BUT you should have requested this before the summer. The teachers will have made plans for those afternoons, they may be covering other classes or that could be when they are doing the home visits and so won't be in school at all.( And having just one child on their own is a right pita, and pretty boring for the child too.)
You can cancel the home visit if this helps to make child care less complicated. Make an appointment to see the teacher after school one day and go through the stuff then. It is a good familiarisation activity but ultimately children have to go to school and meeting their teacher for 15 mins at home doesn't often make much difference.

loubielou31 · 17/08/2018 17:44

Where do the paragraphs go! (Sorry)

idonthaveatattoo · 17/08/2018 17:45

I have actually known children be in on inset days, usually left in the staff room with a colouring book.

Original poster
dangermousegoesswimming · 17/08/2018 17:45

Thanks guys. I'm off now to do some more looking so won't be returning to my 'sensible' comments. I hope you get the support you need too when you are faced with a shit situation.
Thanks for the advice to those of you who have given it.

OP posts:
Labradoodliedoodoo · 17/08/2018 17:46

Ask your childminder for recommendations.

Also talk to the school. By law they should provide full time school hours.

cantkeepawayforever · 17/08/2018 17:46

Who is doing your job on Thursday and Friday? Are they also needed on the INSET day, or could they do emergency childcare for you, at least for the Monday, with you returning the favour at a future point?

Contact your school's Head, and outline the situation. It may be that e.g. a member of staff has a relative who might be happy to spend a few days babysitting (where I work, I can think of 4 staff with older teens who would be delighted to do this).

Labradoodliedoodoo · 17/08/2018 17:47

Or ask your ex to stay over at your mums and do childcare.

trinity0097 · 17/08/2018 17:54

It’s a shame your youngest isn’t a bit older! Where I work (I am a Deputy Head) we often have staff kids in for INSET days, they sit and amuse themselves on a device, or help the caretaker! We also have them in when other schools are shut for snow etc, as we want the adult to be in school! So their kids often join our classes on those sorts of days.

You need to sort something, there are sitters out there who will do childcare as one-offs. Is there a holiday club running somewhere? Have you tried you local Facebook group (not just school group). How old are the older siblings?

Have you asked their dad. Just because he’s a distance away doesn’t mean he gets to opt out of care, even if you had to drive them their on the Sunday and he drive them back halfway on the Wednesday night or something?

Butteredparsn1ps · 17/08/2018 18:02

If you were to request unpaid carers leave by email now, as per your Schools leave policy, would it be looked at before the start of term?

You might get a yes.

If you are turned down, it needs to be in writing giving good business reasons. IME even the most cuntish managers, balk at having to justify their decision in writing and are therefore more likely to agree the leave.

Even if you are turned down, at least you would know where you stand and can look for an emergency Nanny via an agency.

I hope you find a solution.

QueenoftheNights · 17/08/2018 18:19

I cannot understand why you didn't foresee this. Term dates and INSET days are on a school calendar at least a year in advance. You've had at least 6 weeks to sort childcare, if not a whole year.

Do not call in sick. (I used to be a teacher by the way.)

You cannot be sacked without a verbal warning then two warnings in writing. But you need to get more organised (unless your own children's term dates were unknown).

Surely they have friends and you could ask a favour of their mums or even your neighbours perhaps?

TittyGolightly · 17/08/2018 18:20

You cannot be sacked without a verbal warning then two warnings in writing

You can if you have less than 2 years service.

TittyGolightly · 17/08/2018 18:21

And lying would be gross misconduct which could lead to summary dismissal (no previous warnings required).

cloudtree · 17/08/2018 18:21

You cannot be sacked without a verbal warning then two warnings in writing

You can if you have less than 2 years service.

or if its gross misconduct
or if its an offence which warrants going in at a higher level and skipping some stages

Applepudding2018 · 17/08/2018 18:23

I understand that you don't see the other parents if you aren't the one going the school run, but do your DC not have any friends? Have they not had any play dates over the last couple of years you've been living there? I would ask one of your DC's friends parents if they can have your DC on the inset day and offer to have their children over in return - you could try to 'bribe' them with the promise that as a TA you can sit their children in future school holidays.

Alternatively do you have any family members they can stay with on the Monday? However 'high-flying' you ex's job is - he is still their father and has responsibilities (unless there is a wider issue re your break up and there isn't any contact) what about paternal grandparents?

If the Monday is covered you could then contact the youngest DC school once they are open to see if he/she can attend full time on the Tues/Wed.

I really would not take your DC into school for the inset day unless you are totally sure that this would be acceptable to your HT. the fact that they were so displeased with your colleague having to take time off and didn't offer this would suggest to me that they wouldn't be happy

Passmethecrisps · 17/08/2018 18:33

Could high flying ex pay for someone from sitters or an emergency nanny? I don’t see why you should be paying for it all.

SillySallySingsSongs · 17/08/2018 18:46

If you are turned down, it needs to be in writing giving good business reasons. IME even the most cuntish managers, balk at having to justify their decision in writing and are therefore more likely to agree the leave.

It really doesn't work like that!

chocatoo · 17/08/2018 18:49

Is there a nanny agency you could use?

underneaththeash · 17/08/2018 18:57

Sitters would work for the Monday, but not the other days, they won't pick up/take to school.

Bezm · 17/08/2018 19:00

School dates are known a year in advance so you will have known about Monday a long time ago. However, I line manage the TAs in my school, and in circumstances such as this I would give you LOA without pay for the Monday. I would expect you in on the other days as you will be needed to settle the children in, particularly if you work in an SS. I would also tell your youngest child's school that you are not available for the home visit on Wednesday as you are at work. Home visits are not compulsory!
Is there another mum that could look after him on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoon? I would be asking my Head if I could nip out of school early lunch to pick him up from his school to take him to his childcare.

restingbemusedface · 17/08/2018 19:05

Nanny/babysitting agency. Or post on a local FB group asking for a nanny. You’ll get lots of recommendations

MaverickSnoopy · 17/08/2018 19:05

@dangermousegoesswimming

We were faced with similar last year when I was unexpectedly starting a new job with a set start date and DHs work wouldn't give him the time off while our childminder was on holiday. Was shit but in the end his work gave it to him. He'd originally asked for annual leave and when it was declined he asked for parental leave. In his case they were shits and always refused his holiday and I think they realised he was putting his foot down.

In the interim I contacted www.workingfamilies.org.uk. and said that annual leave and parental leave had been declined and explained the dilemma. I genuinely thought I was going to have to turn down my new role and they said to hold fire and that they would be able to help us fix it. In the end it didn't come to that. You may find its worth speaking with them.

Millybingbong · 17/08/2018 19:06

If you are in Worcestershire I'll help you out. I fear you are in Scotland however if it is next week