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Original poster

Can they sack me?

122 replies

dangermousegoesswimming · 17/08/2018 16:12

I work in a SEN school. I have 3 children. Monday, we go back is an INSET day for both of use, then I have my youngest starting school on half days all week.
My mum is away and my childminder is not working that week.
I am absolutely stuck for childcare. Have rung around several (if not all) in my area. INSET days days cost me about £100 for the three of them and I was willing to do it for my job, (even though that's about double my day's wage).
Also my boy's home visit from his school is on the Wednesday and they 'can't change the appointment'.
A colleague had the same problem a while ago and they took her into the office and really had a go at her about not sorting it out. She was really worried they'd sack her. They sent a letter around to everyone afterwards about taking time off.

What choice do I have?

I don't have any friends who I could ask.
I don't know what to do really.

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 17/08/2018 16:31

Time off for dependants is to deal with unexpected situations. For example:

to deal with a breakdown in the care of a dependant

As in on the day. Not weeks in advance.

Please don’t give advice you’re not qualified to give.

Clairetree1 · 17/08/2018 16:31

ask the school to provide a creche? You can't be the only mother struggling, and I have known schools do this

burblife · 17/08/2018 16:32

Have you tried before/after school club OP? The one at our school is open whenever it's a training day at school plus holidays.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Childcare & nursery Families
Original poster
dangermousegoesswimming · 17/08/2018 16:32

I do 3 days from Sept, so it would mean the Mon,Tues and Wednesday.
I have been there about a year.

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 17/08/2018 16:33

Can’t be impossible to solve this, OP.

Speak to other parents.

underneaththeash · 17/08/2018 16:37

I'd ask your childminder if she could suggest someone for the Monday, they often know the other childminders in the area.
The Tuesday and Wednesday I would ask another parent if they mind, or see if your OH can take the day off

Original poster
dangermousegoesswimming · 17/08/2018 16:40

OH and I are separated. (currently going through divorce) and he lives about 3.5 hours away so I can't ask there.
I have been in touch with most childminders in the area. Might just have to try elsewhere and travel.

OP posts:
DianaT1969 · 17/08/2018 16:44

Even though their father chose to move far away, I would still tell him. He needs to step up sometimes too.

PolkerrisBeach · 17/08/2018 16:44

Time off for dependants is to deal with unexpected situations

An inset day isn't an "unexpected situation". A unexpected situation would be the OP's childminder calling her at 8am to cancel that day's childcare because of illness.

OP yes they can sack you for not turning up to work. The reason you're not there is neither here nor there. There will be options out there for childcare, sites like sitters.co.uk will help you find someone. It might well cost you more than you'd like to pay but is it worth losing your job over?

3boys3dogshelp · 17/08/2018 16:45

I would ask around the new reception parents. You can offer to cover Thursday and Friday. I would do this for other parents at school if i knew they were stuck.

CoraPirbright · 17/08/2018 16:46

Do you have sitters.co.uk in your area? They have always come through for me in a pinch.

3boys3dogshelp · 17/08/2018 16:46

Or an emergency nanny? Expensive but you would get someone.

worstmotherintheworld · 17/08/2018 16:47

Could you book a babysitter if childminders are fully booked? Students are still off and probably happy to earn some cash.

CoraPirbright · 17/08/2018 16:47

Also try local nurseries - the people who work there are brilliant & can be asked for baby sitting if they are not rostered to work?

3boys3dogshelp · 17/08/2018 16:47

Or do you know any teenagers going to uni this time? They start later than school and might be glad of some extra money for Fresher’ week.

idonthaveatattoo · 17/08/2018 16:50

What a nightmare.

It sounds obvious, but I think you need to contact your line manager and ask for their advice on how to bes proceed. Chances are you’ll be offered unpaid leave.

Madasahattersteaparty1749 · 17/08/2018 16:50

Do you have a school Facebook group for your year group. Other parents and probably in a similar position offer to have children on Thursday/Friday if someone can have your little one on half day Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday.

Home visit as great as it would be is not mandatory.

With your older ones request help from their friends.

I have helped people out as quite often it’s easier to have friends.

Alternatively do you know any young adults that have just finished their A-Levels. If off to uni they might be happy to help out for a couple of days as it will be before Uni starts.

cloudtree · 17/08/2018 16:51

Another lawyer confirming that time off for dependants would not cover this scenario since it is known about in advance.

Also confirming that yes potentially you could be dismissed for it. How long have you been employed?

I'm not sure how you got to this point without knowing that this would be an issue though?

LillyBugg · 17/08/2018 16:52

Why has everyone ignored the one comment that suggested parental leave? This is exactly the sort of situation I'd be using parental leave for. Google it OP. You won't be paid for it but it would solve his problem.

TittyGolightly · 17/08/2018 16:53

Why has everyone ignored the one comment that suggested parental leave? This is exactly the sort of situation I'd be using parental leave for. Google it OP. You won't be paid for it but it would solve his problem.

I covered this up thread.

It has to be agreed with the employer.

happypoobum · 17/08/2018 16:53

It sounds as though you have been there less than 2 years so they can sack you for pretty much anything not covered by Equality Act.

I can't understand how you only just thought about sorting this out in the last two weeks and are aghast that there is nobody free. You work in education, it really should have been a priority as soon as dates were released.

Can you ask school if youngest can attend full days from day 1?

Then you will have to see if some of the organisations already referenced by PP can help with sitting.

All you can do is see this as a lesson learned and make sure you have rock solid plans in place for future INSET days.

RatherBeRiding · 17/08/2018 16:58

I would cancel the home visit for a start - they are not mandatory and if your employer is already being funny about you taking time off that can't be avoided, they are going to be even less impressed if they find you are taking time off for something optional.

How much notice did your childminder give you that she was away that week? Mine always used to make arrangements herself with other childminders in the area to cover her holidays. But maybe I was just fortunate to be in an area with a very close knit childminder group who would always help out.

aintnothinbutagstring · 17/08/2018 16:59

Any mums of your childrens friends? You could offer to return the favour.

PuntCuffin · 17/08/2018 17:01

Another vote for sitters.co.uk. I have used them for evenings at short notice, but have a friend/colleague who has used them for whole days like this. Might well be cheaper than a childminder as it is a flat fee per hour rather than per child.

DollyWilde · 17/08/2018 17:02

I would cancel the home visit as Riding suggests and (I'll probably get pilloried for this but here goes), given that you are now completely stuck OP, I would suggest that you call up and ask for emergency leave on Monday as your childcare plans have 'fallen through'. Yes, it's a lie and they'll be highly pissed off but it gives you the legal protection as I assume that with young children and a divorce going through you can't afford to risk losing your job right now.

However, in future you absolutely absolutely have to get this sorted and I agree that your children's father should be stepping up, 3.5hr's travel or not.