Bloody social services

[mydogishot]

Need to vent.

Just had a phone call from a social worker telling me that a letter is in the post about me fostering my children's half siblings. They've refused.

Been through lots of meetings over the past 9 months, visits to my house, visits with the kids etc.

Background:
I left my ex with our kids ten years ago. He met and married new partner 3 years later. She already had a ds and they had a ds together.
He viewed both as his and my kids did the same.

Ex died a year ago. His wife had had mental issues for many years and the kids were removed due to safety issues and put in long term foster care.

My kids were devastated. Not only lost their dad but also can only see siblings every six weeks.

My kids are grown. One at uni and one in armed services.

I own a five bedroom house and would happily welcome them here and so would their mother.

According to the phone call, a new member of the team "thinks it's weird" that I've offered to have them.

I just wanted them to have the same as their siblings.

It's shit.

Please appeal. I've had some awful (indirect) experiences with SS, they seem to do this sort of thing often :(

Please push for them. MP, appeal. You sound a fantastic person.

I think “Boris” would see this as a fantastic opportunity to have a rant for the cameras actually!

I agree that this would be right up Boris' street. SS refusing to let family look after dc.

Op

If you have been through a full assessment then they will have to tell you why you failed?

What is likely is that they do not believe it is in the children’s best interests

They could have talked to the children about this?

They could have asked their mother?

You say practically you are all set up therefore the reason is going to be an emotional one.

It must be something reasonable as usually most LAs would bite your arm off!

can your dc see them more regularly?

I spose you are not related at all, must be their reasoning

The OP said the children’s mother was in agreement in her post. Seems utterly daft to me. She may not be directly family but she certainly has a greater connection with those children than a foster career does.

The six weeks is apparently standard for sibling visitation.

Oh and one of the sw made a "joke" of it all bring a bit Bob Geldof....

Anyone got his number? I'll give him a bell...

I spose you are not related at all, must be their reasoning sad

Well the Op may not be related. But one of the children is the half sibling to her own children.

And according to the OP, they see their sibling and his / her half sibling every six week ( though that must be hard to arrange, given that one is away at uni and one is in the arms forces ).

I hardly think it will be an issue that the Ops mother died tragically when she was 12. More likely factors are is the Op has significant health problems, is a smoker, has a high BMI etc.

It may be that the plans for the children have changed and that they will place them for adoption or with another family member who is considered more suitable .

OP are you applying to foster the children or have them under a SGO? You have mentioned both.

That SW sounds inappropriate op

This is bonkers. I can't imagine, from the information you have given, how foster care is deemed better for the children.
I live in an area where there are over 400 children in care and ss would absolutely bite your hand off.

Bob Geldof did a good thing, I don't see why SW would think otherwise.

Appeal this, there has to be someone with half a brain in SS surely?! Have they asked the kids what they want?

No medical issues. I've even had a medical for this and report sent to ss.

In regards to sgo/fostering, I asked ss if they could come to me within days of them being removed from their mother.

Ss keep changing it from foster/sgo.
I'm just going along and doing everything they ask!

With regards to my kids seeing them: uni one lives at home (attends commutable uni) and armed services is training, so home quite often.

Agreed the six week appt is a faff but it's doable, just not ideal.

Definitely a good type of ‘good news story’ Boris or team should jump at, god knows he needs some rehabilitation. Definitely write. And sw with the weird and bob geldof comments is out of line. I’m sure bob and Jeanne are far from perfect but from what’s in the public domain they tried to do a good thing.

I'd be tempted to try your MP, I wonder how often it's them that writes the letter, more likely a member of their staff. Maybe also try your local Councillor, and appeal whilst you're at it.

Just thought, I did really piss one sw off.
I refused to refer to the kids as "sibling set" and just used their actual names.

Maybe that makes me a monster.

I do wonder, if the children have been removed due to mothers mental health, if the power that be think that hey would be safe, given that Mother no doubt knows where you live and would be able to contact them fairly easily.

Are they having contact with her now, ?

Definitely go to your MP, it's his case worksers which will do the background sorting but yes it will add weight to the issue. What a must system and I would put a comp,ain't in against that social worker

@Jessbow might have a point.

Their mother has supervised visitation every 8 weeks. She sees them separately. She cannot cope with both children even for an hour with supervision.

I do feel for her but the kids never asked for this.

Her eldest is 11 and very put out by her.

In my less proud moments, I blame my ex for dying and leaving all this shit everywhere.

Just because he is easy to blame.

Then I have a word with myself and get back on it!

SS are meant to fight tooth and nail for siblings to stay together. I'm surprised they aren't biting your hands off for a sibling group of clearly older kids!

Wait for the letter

If appropriate
Appeal
Complain
Contact Boris and explain SS are willing to keep the children in unstable care, cost to tax payer, split for siblings.

www.parliament.uk/biographies/commons/boris-johnson/1423

I have nothing useful to add other than wait for the letter then phone and speak to a manager. If that doesnt work get onto boris.
Good luck! I hope it all works out and you get them.

Just wanted to thank everyone for the support and advice.

Going to take the weekend to get the ammo lined up and go all guns blazing next week!
Seriously, they've taken the piss.

Even if I'm unsuccessful I'm going to make such a noise that it'll go on their record and the kids will see how hard I tried.