Bloody social services

[mydogishot]

Need to vent.

Just had a phone call from a social worker telling me that a letter is in the post about me fostering my children's half siblings. They've refused.
Been through lots of meetings over the past 9 months, visits to my house, visits with the kids etc.

Background:
I left my ex with our kids ten years ago. He met and married new partner 3 years later. She already had a ds and they had a ds together.
He viewed both as his and my kids did the same.
Ex died a year ago. His wife had had mental issues for many years and the kids were removed due to safety issues and put in long term foster care.
My kids were devastated. Not only lost their dad but also can only see siblings every six weeks.
My kids are grown. One at uni and one in armed services.
I own a five bedroom house and would happily welcome them here and so would their mother.

According to the phone call, a new member of the team "thinks it's weird" that I've offered to have them.
I just wanted them to have the same as their siblings.
It's shit.

[donquixotedelamancha]

Speak to the children's IRO. Their sole job is to ensure the SWs are looking after the children's best interest.

The sw has closed the case so it all has to begin again and I can't appeal against a closed case

Rubbish. Make a formal complaint. Specifically address each reason given for the refusal.

[noseoftralee]

More informed people will reply but WTAF.

Did the rejection letter shed any more light other than ‘a bit Bob Geldof’???

[mydogishot]

Update if anyone is interested.

I gave it a day (to calm down) before I spoke to ss again.

The sw has closed the case so it all has to begin again and I can't appeal against a closed case.

Apparently they don't keep files for fostering when it's unsuccessful.

MPs office has said, and I quote "ooh, no. Not something we'd deal with"

I have felt really insulted and demeaned by ss throughout this.
I thought I was trying to do a good thing but ss have told me that I'd be amazed at how many random people pick out certain children.
They are my kids half siblings.

However, whilst I decide whether to reapply or not.
Due to the ineptitude of ss, I still have contact.

On paperwork passed around everyone involved, my contact details and foster parents details were left unedited.
They contacted me and we all have a relationship bordering on good friendship.
I wanted the foster parents to know that I am good people.

The kids have just been collected after spending the weekend here 😀

I'd have preferred to have been successful but we'll just make the best of an awful situation.

Thank you all for letting me vent!

[mydogishot]

Oh forgot to add.
I left because he was manchild.

[mydogishot]

I took the kids with me.
Sorry if I didn't make that clear.

[ApolloandDaphne]

I think I she left her ex and took the kids with her.

[meadowmeow]

Possibly.

OP?

Apologies if I picked that up incorrectly.

[Zofloramummy]

I think she means she took them with her not left them with him.

[meadowmeow]

You say you left your ex with your kids 10 years ago. I'm going to bet that has something to do with their reasoning.

[B00kworm86]

I don't have any advice OP, but you sound like an incredible person!

[LoafEater]

Hi mydogishot! It is sooo embarrassing having him as the most famous thing about our nice town.

[mydogishot]

@LoafEater

Hey neighbour!!!
Aren't we lucky?!
Actually the worst it about this borough is Boris!!

[mydogishot]

@AvocadosBeforeMortgages

Sorry You've mentioned this twice and I haven't answered.

The kids mother does know where I live, she won't come here.
It's too far away for her and she needs to have someone with her If she does leave her home.
She doesn't like any of her carers and it's now down to her sw to supervise her visits with the kids as they don't know if she'll turn up otherwise.

However she knows where her kids are currently and the school.
A letter was passed to her from ss, alternating crossing out school/ foster address and sometimes leaving it clear.

Ss dept think it's funny.
No wonder sw get such a bad reputation

[LoafEater]

Well if Boris is your MP (mine too) then the local authority here is totally totally broke. The children’s social care dept. is woefully short staffed and have agency staff mostly.

You must try to go higher up to appeal this. They should be biting your hand off!

[woodpigeons]

I am a Kinship foster carer.
I would 100% recommend contacting Family Rights Group. This is the sort of thing they give advice on.

frg.org.uk

[AvocadosBeforeMortgages]

I agree about writing to Boris. He's an odious man but writing to him won't do any harm and may do some good.

[AvocadosBeforeMortgages]

Might it be because SS think you're going to let the mother have inappropriate / harmful levels of contact with the DC?

[mydogishot]

@lifetothefull

That's a lovely idea but I just wonder about how the kids would feel about it.

You can open your home to other kids but not us.
Not rational I know but just makes me think

[lifetothefull]

Foster carer here. You sound like you have a lot of love to give. Hang in there. It may be that they are now with a great foster carer and ss don't want to rock the boat by moving them again. Our LA are great but I know it's not the case everywhere. They can't tell you everything, which has left you feeling like it's a judgement on you. It probably isn't, they just want to make the best choice in a situation where no one can see the future.
Have you considered that you may be able to offer a home to other children in need of foster care?

[ApolloandDaphne]

Unless they have really good reasons for turning you down at this stage this al seems rather strange to me. As a retired SW I sit on a number of fostering/adoption/kinship panels and i know we have ratified people as carers who have no blood connection to the children but have a family connection as you do.

I reckon this decision has been taken at team level - so SW and team manager. What i think i would do is to write to the Agency Decision Maker outlining what has happened and asking for this to be looked into further. In our LA the ADM is the Head of Education and Children's Services and he is responsible for reading the minutes of every panel and signing them off. He (or she) will not know abut your case but would be well placed at a few levels above the Team manager to ask for the case to be revisited.

Obviously the letter that is in the post may outline very reasonable and rational reasons why you have been rejected so i would be inclined to wait until you have received this before taking your next steps.

Good luck.

[mydogishot]

Just wanted to thank everyone for the support and advice.
Going to take the weekend to get the ammo lined up and go all guns blazing next week!
Seriously, they've taken the piss.
Even if I'm unsuccessful I'm going to make such a noise that it'll go on their record and the kids will see how hard I tried.

[comeagainforbigfudge]

www.parliament.uk/biographies/commons/boris-johnson/1423

I have nothing useful to add other than wait for the letter then phone and speak to a manager. If that doesnt work get onto boris.
Good luck! I hope it all works out and you get them.

[Thatwhippetlifewelead]

SS are meant to fight tooth and nail for siblings to stay together. I'm surprised they aren't biting your hands off for a sibling group of clearly older kids!

Wait for the letter

If appropriate
Appeal
Complain
Contact Boris and explain SS are willing to keep the children in unstable care, cost to tax payer, split for siblings.

[mydogishot]

In my less proud moments, I blame my ex for dying and leaving all this shit everywhere.
Just because he is easy to blame.

Then I have a word with myself and get back on it!

[mydogishot]

Their mother has supervised visitation every 8 weeks. She sees them separately. She cannot cope with both children even for an hour with supervision.
I do feel for her but the kids never asked for this.

Her eldest is 11 and very put out by her.