Fed up medic :(

[sunshineroll]

Name change!

I applied for medicine aged 17 and now feel like I had no idea what I was signing up for. I am about to go into my 6th (and final) year and feel so disheartened by the whole thing. I feel like I've been working a full time job for the last 3 years at least but with no pay, no respect and no control over my own life and I'm already having sleepless nights about the prospect of working as a doctor before I've even qualified! In short:

-I'm quite an anxious person and don't handle stress well
-I'm quite sensitive and end up going home upset several times a week about things I've seen in the hospital
-I dislike the stress of the hospital environment and would have to work there for at least 5 years before moving into community
-I'm very concerned about working night shifts
-I feel like I have little say in where I will live and work - at this rate I will not be able to move in with my boyfriend for at least another 3 years
-I do not want to be taking exams for the rest of my life!

But most worryingly, the majority of doctors I meet are very disheartened and tell me to leave! I have friends who are already qualified who are all looking to get out ... they tell me they have no say in when they are working and regularly have to cancel plans (including holidays) due to last minute rota changes - one was not even allowed leave for her best friend's funeral.

Despite doing well in my exams, I just feel like medicine is a lifestyle I am not cut out for - ultimately I could handle the hours and stress if it was a job I truly enjoyed, but I just do not think this will be the case and am getting more and more worried about the future

so my questions are

• has anyone qualified in medicine and chosen not to practice? has anyone become a dr and then left?

-what job options are there for someone graduating in medicine who does not wish to work as a doctor?!

I'd be grateful for any advice (and even more grateful for anyone with some positive stories about how it isn't that bad!!)

Wow so many more replies - thank you everyone! Each one has been so useful and I feel so much more positive knowing how many options are out there and that I’m not obliged to stay on this treadmill

Particularly interested by all of those in non hospital medicine - struggling to see past the initial hospital years but I know I should focus on the bigger picture ...

Also, those who found being an f1 better than a medical student, why was that? Would love to have some positives to focus to on! Unfortunately I worry that the things I struggle with (mainly confidence ... ) would be even harder when actually working ...

And wheretheresawill I totally agree - I feel so much better knowing that people do leave and it certainly wouldn’t make me a failure - im so pleased you’re happier now!

F1 was better than final year student days because I could get home at the end of the day and not have to do revision! Membership exams can start in f2. And you get paid in f1! I found it largely very well supported and most of the seniors had bare minimum expectations of us.

I had a work experience girl years ago in my class who was my dh’s house officer and quit to be a primary teacher. It is possible. Life is too short to be miserable.

Yes I have been exactly where you are. Dreaded finishing my medical degree, dreaded working, struggled in the junior years.

I left.

Then, more than 10 years later, returned. Never thought I would but I love my job now.

I think I was just too young to manage the stress of it before.

Oh and of course leaving doesn't make you a failure!

No medical knowledge whatsoever here but you’ve come so far and you’ve done so well to get there in what seems like such a pressured environment.

If you can possibly manage to stick it out until the end of your training then do it, it seems like such a waste of hard work to leave just now. If you’re really unhappy then there are always other options once you’re qualified.

those who found being an f1 better than a medical student, why was that? Would love to have some positives to focus to on! I totally agree about the F1 and F2 years being better than I expected. In many ways I was like you in terms of worrying about how I'd cope etc.

If it helps and as you've said you'd consider psych, here was my experience of training:

Stayed in the area I'd studied in for Foundation - this meant that the hospitals weren't new to me. It was nice knowing where the canteen was! I also didn't have to move house. Others (particularly those in relationships) came to my deanery as it was small and every hospital was easily commutable from the main city. So no house moves for 2 years. I specifically picked my foundation programme as it included specialties that interested me (psychiatry and GP). In F1 I had 2 surgical and 1 medical post. In F1 on night shifts you're very protected these days - and you were even then (2010). The surgical jobs were generally better as it was more straightforward to plan your day and there was a mix including elective patients who were often quite well. I felt that the clerkings I did were a lot more meaningful - as a student the patients are helping you by letting you clerk them/take histories, as a doctor the relationship is different and you're using your problem solving skills properly. I did stay late a lot to begin with but not with emergencies, more with quite dull busywork like ordering bloods for the next day, but it was very manageable. In F2 I did no nights/weekends during the GP job and did do nights on-call in psych but they were very different, very manageable and very well supported.

You're entitled to annual leave (25 days) and taster weeks. I planned in advance and took the bulk of my leave plus a taster week during the medical jobs.

Key things

• no mandatory studying once you were home
• generally being treated as part of a team, not an in-the-way annoying student
• support from fellow F1s
• The pay!! Seriously, getting a paycheck at the end of the month does make all the difference. I know a lot of people who earn more than me these days, but at 22 I earned far more than my peers.

I chose psych off the back of a happy F2 experience and moved cities for core training, but again didn't have to move far and although I've chosen to move house (baby on the way!) I could easily still be living where I did for CT1. Loads of people train less than full time, a number of them don't have children and just do it for their own health. There's no stigma about LTFT working and the pay is still reasonable, especially at 70-80%. The nights in psychiatry seem to be quite different - you're not pulled in all different directions and many places you work jointly as part of a crisis team as a core trainee. I got a higher training job in the same deanery I'd done core in, and I now work 9-5 with an on-call from home which is very manageable. I seldom leave late and work pretty flexibly including a research session from home.

I didn't have to start studying for postgrad exams until CT1, and I know at least three people who decided exams weren't for them and left core training after CT2. They went directly into specialty doctor posts (having achieved the usually requested 4 years of postgrad experience) where they do 9-5, no on-call, supervised by a consultant with zero management/audit/research/teaching responsibilities. A couple of them have taken a few years in such jobs to recharge their batteries, and are now looking to go back into training.

BUT

If that still sounds like it's not for you - that's OK. Loads of PP have mentioned other opportunities. There's no shame in leaving - how many people who do e.g. Geography end up as actual geographers!? You have learned loads of skills from medicine (and I imagine have a BSc already if you're doing 6 years?) and there are lots of ways to use them.

It's a difficult one. One the one hand, medicine offers a variety of specialities, a pretty clear career path, reasonable financial remuneration, and can be incredibly fulfilling. On the other hand, it is hard work, with shedloads of exams, assessments, boxticking exercises, stresses, strains, house moves, and bad hours (yes, they used to be worse, but they're hardly family friendly even now).

I always wanted to be a doctor. By the time I was 6 I announced I was going to be a consultant paediatrician (only took 30 years....), but I never really wanted to be a medical student. For me, being a medical student was bloody hard, and treating patients was hard but made more sense, and I discovered I could do it. Other people made far better academics than I ever did, but found the wards worse. And I don't think any of us know which we are until we do it.

I do think it is worth finishing your degree if you can, as that will look far better even if you never work as a doctor. And will open more doors. I would suggest that you have a look at foundation programmes, and consider applying. You can always withdraw if you decide you don't want it, or you find something better. But it is a way to at least have an income if you're still exploring other options. I agree with a PP who suggested that if you decided to try foundation training, it would be sensible if your educational supervisor or foundation programme director were approachable, you could discuss uncertainties, and see what support was available.

But. The job can be brutal. It does break people. I've managed to help glue back together some who wanted to stay, but it isn't for everyone. And more and more people are looking for a way out. And there is no shame in that. If it turns out it isn't for you, better to get out before it breaks you. For your sake. But also for that of your patients. Remember what they say on airplanes: if the plane depressurises, first apply your own oxygen mask.

F2 here! There are challenges and it feels a bit like we are being set up tp fail currently. But I prefer it 100% to being a student- I'm part of a team, people are expecting me (I found it hard turning up on spec as a med student), I can be helpful, I have a sense of purpose to my day and I have never worked in a job before (im a mature F2) where the day flies by so quickly, you get a chance to get good at skills as you are using them day in and day out (it is rare that I cannot bleed a patient these days). There are issues, but there are always issues with any job.

I'm surprised at the number of very happy psychs on here considering it's such an unpopular specialty!

Maybe that's why we're happy? Less competition for jobs and decent career opportunities because of it?

Bit late to this thread, but I left after completing my pre-registration house jobs (would now be end of FY2).

I cried pretty much every day. I had started to fantasise about being injured in an accident so I wouldn't have to go into work.

My only regret is not leaving earlier (e.g. immediately after finishing MBBS).

It's nearly 20 years later, and I still can't watch TV programmes about junior doctors as they can trigger an anxiety attack.

Please feel free to PM me if you need to.