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Original poster

DS (13) alone on a train?

47 replies

cakedup · 15/08/2018 22:37

DS(13) (going into Year 9 in September) has been invited to stay at friends for a couple of night, one hour train journey away. In the past I've taken him up there on the train and then picked him up on the train but as you can imagine this is costly and takes a lot of time.

I asked him if he felt comfortable going/returning by himself and he said he did. I would put him on the train and my friend would greet him the other end (and vice versa). There are no changes on the route. We would stay in touch by phone during the journey. He is dyslexic so not great at reading but I would make a list of all the stations he has to pass that he can tick off.

He hasn't travelled independently before really (his school is across the road) save for a couple of short tube journeys.

Would you feel comfortable with this?

OP posts:
Blankiefan · 15/08/2018 22:39

Would booking him into first class help? A bit more staff support potentially...and better Wi-Fi!!

Originalsaltedpeanuts · 15/08/2018 22:41

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Originalsaltedpeanuts · 15/08/2018 22:43

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MsJaneAusten · 15/08/2018 22:44

One train for one hour with no changes and someone meeting him at the other end? You’re massively overthinking this. It’ll be fine!

wafflyversatile · 15/08/2018 22:45

I'd set an alarm on -my- his phone for 5 mins before the stop saying start paying attention now.

LEMtheoriginal · 15/08/2018 22:46

I think with first class you get a cloth over the head rest and tgats the only difference as far as i can see.

I think its fibe as there are no changes. Is there still a guards carriage? If so he cpuld sit there and ask for someone to remind him when its his stop ?

Id let my 13yo dyslexic dd who us very young for her age however she does have to commute to school by bus

Dragongirl10 · 15/08/2018 22:46

No problem, l would happily do this.

Ohwtfhappened · 15/08/2018 22:47

Does he look 13? Or could an over zealous ticket inspector accuse him of being 16?
If so does he have ID to prove his age?
My DD at 14 doing a train journey similar was intimidated my a ticket inspector that did not believe they were 14 so traveling on a child fare and did not have id, she found it very intimidating and scary

upsideup · 15/08/2018 22:48

I would be fine with it in fact I would be encouraging it as he needs to learn to use a train on his own at some point and this is a nice easy journey hes been on before, hes getting dropped off and picked up and their are no changes so theres very little room for anything to go wrong.
My 11 year old gets the train sometimes with changes by herself quite often and shes always been fine.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 15/08/2018 22:49

It will be fine. At 12 my mum used to put me on a train at Manchester and I would get off in Exeter, sometimes having to change.

namechange2pointoh · 15/08/2018 22:50

think with first class you get a cloth over the head rest and tgats the only difference as far as i can see.

Much depends on the TOC. Some don't have first class, some have a very basic 'cloth over head rest' and paper cup of tea and some serve full meals and drinks throughout your journey.

OP my only concern would be that he didn't miss the stop if he isn't very good at paying attention, the alarm on phone suggested above is a great idea.

Original poster
cakedup · 15/08/2018 22:51

wafflyversatile that's a great idea re setting alarm on his phone.

Really pleased to see the responses. Of course I was going on trains by myself from the age of 10 but those were the days! 13 is a weird age because he literally turned from little boy to teen overnight so trying to get used to it all.

OP posts:
Ohwtfhappened · 15/08/2018 22:55

I was happy about the journey, valid ticket, put on the train my grandma, met at end by me, but was interrogated by a ticket inspector on board the train.
I don't believe my 14 year old dc at that time looked over 16 or should a 14 year old not be traveling alone, but they encountered an aggressive challenge from a ticket inspector which left them shaken

Deadheadstickeronacadillac · 15/08/2018 22:55

I have an 11 y/o (with ADD) who travels 40 mins by train to London on his own with no probs. His dad meets him at the other end so all fine.

mygrandchildrenrock · 15/08/2018 22:55

One of my grandsons does this, put on a train in one city and off 2 hours later in another where I pick him up. He's been doing it since he was 11 or 12. I booked first class once though and he didn't like it, it wasn't busy and he felt lonely!

Original poster
cakedup · 15/08/2018 22:57

I agree upsideup I think it will be good for him as he doesn't get the chance to travel independently being so close to school.

I'm pretty sure the only difference with 1st class is the cloth on the head rest.

I never thought of that Ohwtfhappened. I don't think he looks quite 16. He does have an zip card (oyster card for 11 - 15 year olds). DS would also find it very intimidating. He once got (wrongly) accused of shoplifting in Tesco, he was so mortified he didn't go there by himself for months afterwards!

OP posts:
namechange2pointoh · 15/08/2018 23:00

I'm pretty sure the only difference with 1st class is the cloth on the head rest

As previously, it depends on the TOC. Who is he travelling with?

Original poster
cakedup · 15/08/2018 23:00

That's awful Ohwtfhappened the ticket inspector should have dealt with it better. They are meant to be someone a child could turn to if they had a problem on the train.

OP posts:
Original poster
cakedup · 15/08/2018 23:03

I've been on the train in question and am pretty sure that all you get in 1st class is a bit of head cloth in a slightly sectioned off compartment. We've never travelled first class, I think he'd prefer what he is used to and I'd prefer him to be around more people.

OP posts:
Witchend · 15/08/2018 23:03

Dd2 travelled most of the way across England with 3 changes (on stations she didn't know) last year having just turned 14yo.

However we did book assistance for her at the stations as she is minorly disabled and I thought she might need help with luggage, especially if she was having to move quickly.

They said on the phone when I asked if she was eligible that they give assistance to anyone who asks, and would always be happy to give it to children.

Would that make you feel better?

She loved having the assistance and even got fed chocolate! It was especially good as they say if you book assistance then they will make sure you get to your destination even if it means calling a taxi, and after we'd booked they announced a strike, which meant one of her trains was looking as though it might be cancelled. Because of the assistance I knew she'd be fine.

MinaPaws · 15/08/2018 23:13

He'll be fine. In our area loads of DC who live in vllages travel to secondary by train. It's only a 30 min journey and they do it together. But within a few weeks they've made friends with people who live the other side of the town where the school is, and then they're all hopping onto trains alone at the weekend to meet up. It's good for them to get used to public transport alone. It builds their sense of independence and self reliance.

tentative3 · 15/08/2018 23:16

You would get taxied, if necessary, with or without assistance.

OP he will be fine. In the nicest possible way you're overthinking this. Make sure he knows where to get off, list of stations and alarm before his station are both good ideas. Fully charged mobile before he sets off.

Bestseller · 15/08/2018 23:19

Yes, absolutely. An important opportunity for him to learn how to do this stuff if he doesn't get any in his day to day life.

If he did miss his stop, what's the worst that old happen? DS1 missed his stop on the way home from his first day at secondary (so 11yo). He worked it out with help from the bus driver.

WomblingWoman · 16/08/2018 00:00

I've done similar at the same age - only difference was sending to Grandparents who picked DS at the end of the journey.

I did the alarm trick and it's a good idea- I also got him settled in his seat and texted GP's what carriage he was in so they could find him easily.

I also packed some snacks for the journey (including a drink) so there were no worries about leaving his seat and backpack to go to the dining car (2 hour journey in my case only one stop prior to destination).

He loved it - according to GP's he was very proud of his independence:-)

We talk about things being different when we were younger but tbh with mobile phones and the level of connectivity we have now it's arguably much safer to do than 20 years ago.

Original poster
cakedup · 16/08/2018 00:05

Witchend wow that's a great tip for future journeys that might be more tricky, thanks. I think for tomorrow, as it's a straightforward journey there isn't much to help him with.

If he did miss his stop, what's the worst that old happen? Well, he is a bit of a panicker Bestseller . But both me and my friend are on the end of a phone.

OP posts:
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