Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Serious violence by 8yo

77 replies

Hoosey · 15/08/2018 06:08

I am sat in hospital with my toddler who has a fractured skull. The 8yo son of my neighbour threw a brick over the fence and has seriously injured him. For the last 6 weeks or so he has tried to target him any time we are in the garden- it started off as throwing poisonous berries over, then old footballs, then small stones and now this. Every time we have gone over and his mum just rants and raves that we are lying and her son would never do that whilst he smirks and gets away with it (she does know he’s doing it but doesn’t care). Obviously what’s happened now is in another league. What can I do? We obviously can’t not use our garden ever but I have to put a stop to this. I know he’s under the age of criminal responsibility but can the police do anything? I don’t mean towards the child but can the mother be held accountable at all for letting him do this? I’m desperate- watching my poor DS in such a mess and feeling helpless. I saw what happened DS was playing in his sandpit next to the fence whilst I was hanging out washing, it was deliberate and the 8yo laughed when he saw the blood. I didn’t get to DS in time to stop it and feel terrible about that too, I just never dreamt this could happen even after what has gone before.

OP posts:
MrsJamin · 15/08/2018 06:20

I'm surprised your description of the incident didn't raise concerns from A&E, if it is continual abuse that is now physical you must call social services.

TrappedByATurtle · 15/08/2018 06:22

Definitely call the police for advice. Your poor DS.

Bluelonerose · 15/08/2018 06:26

I'm sport about you dc are they Ok?
I would phone the police. To me it is assault.

Hoosey · 15/08/2018 06:27

The hospital haven’t said anything about involving the police or SS, the closest I came to that was a doctor saying the kid can’t be allowed to get away with that. I guess it might come up today now that DS is on a ward rather than in the madness of A&E. I think I will ask them today as I will need them to also give some information about the seriousness of the injury.

OP posts:
ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 15/08/2018 06:32

My goodness that is awful! Your poor toddler.

I would call the police for advice. I would also call social services, as a child who is behaving this way is not a happy one.

And, actually, I'd be putting things in motion to move, if at all possible.

lastqueenofscotland · 15/08/2018 06:34

Police. I live in a bit of a dodgy area but there are usually police just doing the rounds in the hospital near me.

Hoosey · 15/08/2018 06:35

We are moving thank goodness and our nightmare neighbours were a large part of the decision. However, we never thought it would get this serious. Does anyone know if the police will actually do something? Our move won’t happen for at least another 6-8 weeks and I don’t want to be prisoners in our own home.

OP posts:
Bowlofbabelfish · 15/08/2018 06:36

Police and SS. Hospital should have liaisons with both.

bastardkitty · 15/08/2018 06:37

It's a safeguarding concern and you can report to social care if the hospital staff are not going to do it.

bastardkitty · 15/08/2018 06:38

So sorry about your poor son. You must be very upset.

Hoosey · 15/08/2018 06:42

It was horrific, I’ve never been so scared in all my life. He is doing ok but I’ve been sat up all night stewing so posting on here has helped. DH is home with the baby so I’m venting a bit. I’m going to call 101 and also ask the nurses about getting the hospital to report it.

OP posts:
sulflower · 15/08/2018 06:51

That is awful, your poor little boy. You have to report this to the police and social services as other people have said. That 8 year old child has serious issues, not least his mother. If he's getting away with this goodness knows what else he will do. I hope your little one is okay Flowers.

AjasLipstick · 15/08/2018 06:52

I know it's only 6 weeks OP but I would get security cameras and maybe put up some screening on the fence. I feel for you and your toddler... :( Poor baby

youarenotkiddingme · 15/08/2018 06:53

So sorry to hear this happened Angry

I would say this must come under a safeguarding bracket somewhere and so SS are the people to be in co fact with. You may have to report to police to trigger that.
Ask the hospital staff if there's anyone in there who can talk you through this and advise you.

But I would say there's a big issue and it needs outside support as there's a pattern of escalating.
If he throws a brick and no consequence - what's next?

MrsJamin · 15/08/2018 06:55

I'm really surprised no one at the hospital was concerned about this, considering how I've heard nurses etc have accused parents of battering their children. I feel sorry for this 8 year old not knowing this is wrong, there's something not right in that family.

Believeitornot · 15/08/2018 06:55

Call the police. I have an 8 year old and if mine pulled that shit I’d be mortified, angry and very worried. This isn’t normal behaviour for an 8 year old.

The fact that the mother is none of these is, in itself, appalling.

I hope your son recovers quickly.

INeedNewShoes · 15/08/2018 06:56

I'm so sorry that this awful thing has happened. It's just horrible.

There is a serious neglect of parental responsibility going on with the 8 year old. He is probably also being neglected in other ways. I would start by phoning local police but I would also phone NSPCC as they should have some good signposting for how these things are best handled.

PeonyTruffle · 15/08/2018 06:59

100% police

I'm so sorry this happened to your little boy Sad

LuluJakey1 · 15/08/2018 07:00

Yes hospital may file a report but you MUST. He is your child and you saw it as well as the other incidents having happened. You should ring the police and social services. Don't rely on someone else reporting it. The reason parents like your neighbour behave as they do is because they get away with doing so. Her child's actions are serious and need to be stopped now before he does something even worse to your child or someone else's - this behaviour is indicative of someone who takes pleasure hurting others. Report and if she becomes unpleasant report that too. Hope you child is ok. Flowers

Waitedtoolong · 15/08/2018 07:01

To be honest, once I was sure my DS was going to be OK, I'd have been on the phone to the police immediately.
Please report this as soon as you can. I hope your DS makes a full recovery and isn't too traumatized, poor little mite.

Hoosey · 15/08/2018 07:02

The nurse has just been in to do his obs so I chatted to her. She said it will be referred to SS as safeguarding because it’s a child with a violent injury but she wasn’t sure about the police. She did tell me who I can ask about it though. I’m a bit reassured by that but think I’ll also report it to the police as an extra precaution just to see what can be done.

OP posts:
RedPill · 15/08/2018 07:03

Definitely call the police and SS, the child's behaviour is seriously worrying and could manifest into something more sinister Confused

Believeitornot · 15/08/2018 07:05

I wouldn’t trust that this would be reported to SS - unless you gave them the address, how will they know the details?

I’d give the non emergency police a ring and explain the issue. It could be another child and it could be worse next time.

Hoosey · 15/08/2018 07:06

Calling the police before now wouldn’t even have been possible. DS didn’t sleep until nearly 6am. The poor mite just wants to be held.

OP posts:
Hoosey · 15/08/2018 07:07

Calling 101 now. I’m shaking a bit, don’t know why. Adrenaline I’m guessing.

OP posts: