Serious violence by 8yo

[Hoosey]

I am sat in hospital with my toddler who has a fractured skull. The 8yo son of my neighbour threw a brick over the fence and has seriously injured him. For the last 6 weeks or so he has tried to target him any time we are in the garden- it started off as throwing poisonous berries over, then old footballs, then small stones and now this. Every time we have gone over and his mum just rants and raves that we are lying and her son would never do that whilst he smirks and gets away with it (she does know he’s doing it but doesn’t care). Obviously what’s happened now is in another league. What can I do? We obviously can’t not use our garden ever but I have to put a stop to this. I know he’s under the age of criminal responsibility but can the police do anything? I don’t mean towards the child but can the mother be held accountable at all for letting him do this? I’m desperate- watching my poor DS in such a mess and feeling helpless. I saw what happened DS was playing in his sandpit next to the fence whilst I was hanging out washing, it was deliberate and the 8yo laughed when he saw the blood. I didn’t get to DS in time to stop it and feel terrible about that too, I just never dreamt this could happen even after what has gone before.

His parents can be held to account for his actions, he has still committed a serious criminal offence. Being put under curfew, parenting called into question, child being taken into care are all possibilities. Hope your little one makes a good recovery, thank god you are moving.

Well one OP, The police must absolutely be informed, like in a car accident, what if there is long time damage ? (I sincerely hope not)
The boy has maliciously & repeatedly targeted your baby.
There is clear a massive problem with him & his family.

OP I am so sorry to hear this I hope your little one is doing better today

I am really sorry this has happened OP but I want to just flag something up and its not really something that will make it all any easier and I apologise for that in advance. I wanted to know at what stage your move was and whether or not its a sale or you are in rented. The reason I ask is that if its a sale then on the sellers declaration one of the questions concerns any problems with your neighbour or complaints over the past 5 years. If you have already exchanged or it doesn't apply then I would be all over this to the police, social services, their landlord if that applies etc. But if not then you need to think carefully about maintaining your escape route away from this desperate and horrible situation. Wishing your LO a speedy recovery.

What a psychopath. So sorry this happened and glad to hear you’re moving

Your poor boy Massive safeguarding issue. Glad hospital are reporting it

Jesus wept. You poor poor things.

I really really hope that your son is OK OP.

Press charges. Your neighbour is responsible for her child and his actions and do not hold back. She needs educating about her responsibilities as a mother and that child needs help.

I feel sick just thinking about it.

That's awful, your poor baby! I really hope the Police can do something, it's disgusting that the Mother of this boy doesn't seem to give two hoots, if my child had done this to another Child I'd be beside myself. When you speak to the Police I would seriously ask them if it will be reported to SS, this behaviour from an 8 yr old is not right - at all! If they don't report, then I'd ring them personally, it sounds like intervention from the authorities is needed. I'm aware you're moving, do you know if a family with Children are moving into your current home - if so i think it's doubly important SS are informed, heaven forbid that Child should do something like that again.

Thanks for all the lovely messages. I can think a bit more clearly after a few hours sleep. My DH dealt with the police when they called back and they are going to take a statement. SS are being notified. I don’t know how much will come of it but I can’t wait to move now. DS is doing ok today, he seems remarkably well considering what’s happened.

OMG that is awful. Your poor poor baby.

Police. SS. CCTV cameras.

Glad to hear your little boy is feeling so much better. Maybe the police and social services involvement will make your next door neighbour realise that her son needs parenting.

I'm am so sorry for your son..hopefully you contacting ss also means that other little boy can get the help he needs as clearly his parents are ignoring the problem..

Oh my gosh, this is absolutely awful. I'm so glad you've reported this to the relevant authorities, that was absolutely the right thing to do. It's terrible enough that your poor ds had to be hurt by this child, but now that the authorities are aware there's hope that it needn't happen to someone else's little one too. Good on you, and again I'm so sorry you and your ds have been hurt by the actions of this family.

Do you have a relative or someone you can stay with until you move? We had a similar situation with a teenage neighbour vandalising our cars and throwing metal poles and rocks into our garden when ds2 was young. We couldn’t go out into the garden and we ended up moving.

I would definitely also phone SS duty desk and report this yourself. The number will be on your local council website.

SS work on a sort of 'weight of evidence' basis, and the more logged concerns they have the more likely it is they will act.

For all you know they may already have records about the family next door from school/ GP etc, and adding your record directly could be the tipping point. It IS worth adding your personal experience to their records even if the hospital are also phoning. You have the backstory, the hospital don't.

You need to do it for the sake of the kid next door. He needs help.

I'm glad you are moving. However, another family with a toddler or even pets might move in. You can at least leave them in the best possible position by already having done all you can.

What a dreadful situation. Hope your little boy recovers well & gets home soon. You and your DH will have to be really vigilant until you move. The other child has serious issues - sincerely hope these are addressed, soon as possible, by the relevant professionals.

I have absolutely no idea if this exists or is possible but would home insurance cover you for staying in a hotel until the move because of the risks at home?

How are things this evening @Hoosey?

I've been thinking of your DS all day. I stood in my bedroom and looking out at the adjoining gardens to ours and all the children playing outside. I am keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

He’s doing ok thanks. He’ll be in hospital for a little while yet- the cut still looks savage but the fracture isn’t causing him too many issues, thank goodness. He’s pretty chirpy again but really doesn’t want to go home, which is so sad to see. He talks lots about the “naughty boy” but we keep reassuring him. Our neighbour has again taken zero responsibility and ranted at DH about us calling the police. We need to just get out now. I don’t think we are going to take DS back to the house although we haven’t fully worked out where we will go until our house completes. We have told our buyers what happened and they still want to go ahead with the purchase so we have to thank our lucky stars. The husband of the couple is a retired policeman so I don’t think he’s too intimidated. The police aren’t going to do much although they have spoken to the family. We won’t be told what SS do but the woman we spoke to did sound concerned so hopefully the son gets the help he needs.

Good news all around OP

Glad he's getting better and is chirpy!

Ask the hospital about playworkers. They may have someone who is trained to play therapy with children who have experienced trauma and work with him to help him through this.

That's great you buyers want to go ahead. And what amazing people you and dh are telling despite knowing they may have pulled out. Honesty is a fabulous trait.

Maybe mention to neighbours new neighbour is a retired policeman.

Thank you for updating. I'm so relieved for you that your buyers are going ahead regardless.

Hope you little boy continues to improve.

I'm so glad he's improving and the buyers are happy to proceed with the sale. I hope you're able to find somewhere to stay until the sale is completed. I'm sure your friends/relatives/colleagues will want to help if they can.

Glad he’s improving. My partner fractured his skull at that age and is fine, has a scar on his head but his hair coveres it. No long lasting damage, unless it has created his inability to see the washing up that needs doing!