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Original poster

It's my birthday tomorrow...

82 replies

Coolaschmoola · 14/08/2018 08:58

...and it appears my DH has forgotten.

He just offered to switch his fishing day from Thursday to tomorrow as I'm taking our niece and nephew out for the day on Thursday. He offered twice - no inkling as to why I said no.

I guess that's no card or present from him tomorrow, no restaurant booked. I will get a present from DD who is six, because I picked and ordered it myself.

To add insult to injury - I'm forty tomorrow. So a 'big' birthday. When he turned forty I took him abroad for four days. I am having a party later this month - that I've organised myself.

I'm genuinely gutted. Is it irrational to feel this will damage our marriage?

OP posts:
Gojira · 14/08/2018 20:37

Sorry,

TOSSER!

FrozenMargarita17 · 14/08/2018 20:54

Oh OP that's awful.

@Gojira I did giggle at toaster

Gildashairflick · 14/08/2018 20:54

@Gojira I like toaster too!

jellybeans44 · 14/08/2018 20:58

Gutted for you OP :( but I hope you have a wonderful day regardless of the piece of shit!

CherryPlum · 14/08/2018 20:59

You told him not to get you a present as money was tight. He's done what you told him to do.

Also I do find it a bit odd that you didn't just tell him it was your birthday, instead of putting hints around the house, hanging your dress up etc. You need to be straight up with him.

whattimeislove · 14/08/2018 21:07

I'm sorry OP that really is rubbish.

I agree that it's not about the extravagance, but the lack of thought that's gone into it.

I'd be taking a day away to seriously contemplate the future of our relationship.

ChaseMe · 14/08/2018 21:13

Oh that's awful OP. I hope you have a lovely day with your DD Flowers

Original poster
Coolaschmoola · 14/08/2018 21:15

Cherry I'm not a weirdo! I didn't randomly 'put up hints around the house' for his benefit! Who would do that? Until this morning I had no idea he hadn't remembered - yet the 'hints' were all already in place. Handy. Hmm

I'm planning a party - and the stuff is around the house because I'm using it.

Aside from the dress. That's hung on the front of the wardrobe because it's too long for the rail and, unsurprisingly, I don't fancy having to press it. It's been there days. I didn't hang it there for his benefit.

As for the calendar - I wrote the birthdays on in January. Like most people.

Anyway, now I've cleared that up, DH came back, apologised and said he thought today was the 12th (which is something he'd do), and he had planned for us to go out for the day on Friday. He had booked a table...on Friday.

He's now at Tesco buying the cards he was going to get on Thursday, after bloody fishing.

So it turns out I didn't marry an inconsiderate arsehole; just a daft plank who doesn't actually know what day it is when he's off work.

OP posts:
Original poster
Coolaschmoola · 14/08/2018 21:17

Oh and Cherry - yes I did tell him not to buy me a present. That's not the only thing birthdays are about though. You don't need presents to have a special day.

OP posts:
CherryPlum · 14/08/2018 21:20

Well it sounds like it's sorted now and you can enjoy your day.

flyingsaucersherbet · 14/08/2018 21:29

I’m glad it’s sorted Op and you feel better. I hope you have a brilliant birthday Flowers

2018SoFarSoGreat · 14/08/2018 21:33

Happy birthday tomorrow, OP - glad that it was just a minor forgetting and not a major event.

Magicstar1 · 14/08/2018 21:43

It sounds like a genuine mistake...it’s crap but it can easily happen.
A couple of years ago DH and I were at an event. One of the guys came up and handed DH a card. I was asking what it was for, and then we opened it. It was for our wedding anniversary that day Blush. We’d been talking about, planned to go out, but didn’t realise the date.

Magicstar1 · 14/08/2018 21:44

Oh...and happy birthday OP!

Onthebrink87 · 14/08/2018 22:01

I'm not a big birthday person so if probably keep shtum until the following day then I'd be dining out on that for a long time 🤣

Onthebrink87 · 14/08/2018 22:13

Ok so my previous post was written before i rtft as i thought he was likely going to surprise you! But if he has genuinely forgotten and been fat from apologetic I would be livid! Im hurt on your behalf, i feel it shows a real lack of respect and thoughtfulness and would be having some serious words with myself about what I wanted to do about it! I would start by letting him know he was not welcome at the party! WineWineFlowersFlowersFlowers

Onthebrink87 · 14/08/2018 22:14

*FAR from apologetic I beg your pardon! FlowersWine

SpottingTheZebras · 14/08/2018 22:16

Glad to read the last update. Happy 40th! Wine

Original poster
Coolaschmoola · 14/08/2018 22:19

He has been very apologetic since he came home. He went out because he was angry with himself for his fuck up - not the greatest response, but better than him stomping about here. He's also been very helpful since he got back.

He's feeling very bad about getting mixed up.

OP posts:
HollyHocks13 · 15/08/2018 07:59

Happy birthday OP, I hope your DH is redeeming himself and making you feel special. Wink

FlappyFeet · 15/08/2018 08:21

Happy 40th I hope you have a great day x

LoudestRoar · 15/08/2018 08:24

Happy 40th @Coolaschmoola Hope you have a lovely day.

Getoffthetableplease · 15/08/2018 08:24

Happy Birthday to You xxx

VQ1970 · 15/08/2018 08:29

Happy birthday OP, have you have a lovely day.

I quite often lose track of what the date is and think I’ve got plenty of time to get a card, present or whatever and suddenly realise that actually the birthday is the following day or I’ve missed it completely!

BabyMoonPie · 15/08/2018 08:33

Happy birthday!!

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