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Original poster

Has anyone done a PhD with young children?

26 replies

Luckynumberthree · 13/08/2018 11:34

Is it possible?
Also just interested if you've done a PhD at all and how much it took over your life?
Seriously considering applying for one that I am really interested in but just don't know if it's a crazy idea as have 2 very full on toddlers.

OP posts:

Original poster

Luckynumberthree · 13/08/2018 19:05

Bump for the evening crowd. Any studying at all, not just PhD?

OP posts:

BoogleMcGroogle · 13/08/2018 19:08

My kids were toddlers when I started- they are 6 and 9 now. It’s hard, hard work and I’ve still got another year to go ( I also work). I loved the first two years, but the last couple of years have been hard. It’s always at the bottom of a long list of priorities. That having been said, I know I’ll feel huge pride when (if!) I complete.

OneWildNightWithJBJ · 13/08/2018 19:11

I did a 3-year MSc, finishing when my kids were 9 and 7. It was hard work but worth it. I'd say go for it as it's awful to regret something you've not done. Is there a time limit to the PhD?

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DamnCommandments · 13/08/2018 19:13

I did mine from when eldest was two to when smallest was three (it took 4 years, plus one year maternity leave and six months doing related research - so 5.5 years all in). I had a stipend and treated it like a job. Like Boogle I loved the first two years. Then it was just an awful depressing slog. Nothing to do with the kids. Everything to do with the inherent nature of PhDs.

Meltingwax · 13/08/2018 19:15

I became pregnant just after I started the PhD. I also went on to have another child. My PhD was part-time and I also worked full-time.

Namelesswonder · 13/08/2018 19:17

It’s hard, you will have to be very committed to your research and to finishing. I started my PhD with a 4yr old and a 6 yr old. Financially it’s hard even with funding, the research is all consuming and as a parent I had to treat it as a 9-5 job and it’s really not. You don’t get school holidays off and there is the constant parent guilt of not giving your best to parenting or to your research! Also, think why you want to do it - there are v v few jobs in academia now and even a PhD is no guarantee of work. But it’s lovely when you graduate!

Elllicam · 13/08/2018 19:21

I did my MSc during my first and second pregnancies and graduated with an 18 month old and 9 months pregnant. I’m currently in the middle of my professional doctorate with a 5, 4, and 18 month old and 21 weeks pregnant. I am doing it on a very part time basis though, I’ve still got at least a couple of years to go and I’ve been working on it for 3.5 years. It’s still hard, especially meetings with my supervisor and getting time to do research. I now Skype most meetings during toddler nap times when my big two are in school and nursery.

Flywheel · 13/08/2018 19:22

Mine were 1, 3 and 5 when I started. I had a scholarship and I treated it like a job, but with flexible hours. It was a lot easier than working imo. I don't think I'd have managed if I had been working full time also.

Bunnyhop1502 · 13/08/2018 19:23

I’m halfway through a MA with a nearly 4 yo and 18 mo. It’s terribly hard work and I know I won’t be getting the grade I am capable of as I don’t get enough study time.

Lottie2017 · 13/08/2018 19:24

I am coming to the end of one, part time that I started pre children (I also work part time). It is difficult to say- in some ways, I became more focused on my project after having my children, as I had to organise my time so much better. I also enjoyed that sense of doing something for myself. However the pressure of juggling everything has been really tough and I have been very reliant on family support. I am not sure if I would have started one with children. I was 3 years in (part time) when I had my first child and it will be 6 years when I (hopefully) complete this year. I do love what I have been doing though! Could you start it and see how it goes?

TigerDragonMonkey · 13/08/2018 19:26

I’m doing one now with 3 kids, ages 2, 6 and 8. I treat it like a 9 to 5 job and it’s fine so far! I’m just finishing my first year now.

Lottie2017 · 13/08/2018 19:31

Will you be doing it full time or alongside a job as well? I think without juggling my job as well, I would have found it easier and would recommend it if you have support/childcare too?

Original poster

Luckynumberthree · 13/08/2018 19:54

It would be fully funded with stipend. I wouldn't be working as well but I currently only work 3 days so presumably that would increase.
I'm probably doing it to escape a job I hate which is maybe not a good reason but I like the idea of it. I feel like the field it is in there would be good job opportunities afterwards though nothing is guaranteed of course. Scared I'd miss out on the toddler years and you can never get that back. Presumably evenings and weekends would be required. Does anyone do a PhD realistically. The advert said something about flexibility but maybe that's not the reality.

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Original poster

Luckynumberthree · 13/08/2018 19:56

DH and parents would help out to a point but I do worry about asking more of them than I do already.

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Busytizzy · 13/08/2018 19:57

I'm doing an MSc, I'm a single mum of one and teach full time. Approaching deadlines, it's horrendous and I wish I'd never started it. But somehow, I get through each one and because of the modular course design, it's not full on all the time. I moan non stop about it, but it can't be too bad as I'm considering doing my dissertation next year!

Original poster

Luckynumberthree · 13/08/2018 19:57

Does anyone do a PhD *part time realistically? That should say.

OP posts:

Whatnextfred · 13/08/2018 20:04

I'm just finishing my 20,000 word dissertation for an msc. Hand in end this week. Have 3 dc and am divorced. I'd love to do a PhD but feel I need a few years out... but I'm not getting any younger

TigerDragonMonkey · 13/08/2018 20:04

Generally you should be able to do your PhD by putting in a good 40 hours a week. If you can do 9 to 5 for 5 days that should be enough, or with young children you could maybe stick to your 3-days and do a couple of evenings for make it a full week.
Some times are busier than others. I have a stipend but I put up a bit of TA work so if I’ve got papers to mark it can spill over and I end up working evenings and weekends. Some diciplines are more flexible than others too, so if you have lab work you might need to be in a certain times.
I’m in psychology and it’s very flexible for me. I set my own hours and can work from home whenever I want. We are saving a fortune in childcare over the summer because DH and I can both set our own hours so are doing half days each with the kids and working evenings. My mum also helps out when the 2-year-old is in nursery.
If it is consistently taking more than a normal full time week though you are probably trying to do too much, so just be realistic when you are planning your proposal and try to build in little redundancies that you can drop without ruining the project so you can keep in control of your own time :).

Namelesswonder · 13/08/2018 20:05

It’s a full time job basically, with extras thrown in - I worked 9-5 and in my last year 1 weekend day. My DH already had his PhD so was very understanding. I finished after 3 years fulltime and 1 year part time. It’s flexible from the point of view that you can work flexibility and from home, but you still need to be prepared to put in at least 35 hours a week. You will probably have seminars, departmental meetings, regular supervions to attend a few times a month plus conferences. You need to be very self motivated, everyone I knew found their last year hard going and very pressured.

ZaphodBeeblerox · 13/08/2018 20:08

I’m just returning to mine after a year off on mat leave. My motivation is rock bottom to be honest. I’m hoping it’ll pick up once I’m actually at work. I don’t know if I want an academic job after all this effort and so I do regret the decision to go for one a bit. But can’t quit now, must persevere.

metoothree · 13/08/2018 20:10

Do it, if you get a stipend and are excited about the subject. Yours will be in school soon enough anyway, right?

I was funded, have a year left and 2 young kids. It's hard work but I think people exaggerate the work load - maybe it is more intense for lab-based physical scientists but humanities/ social science is really flexible, much more so than an office job. I know the next year might get hairy, but now I don't work to the point I feel like I'm missing out on my childrens' lives and I'm doing well, so I'm told.

And I have several academic friends who (say they) work 4-5 hour days... Don't know if I believe them when you include admin, marking, student contact etc., but you can't really write for much more than that over an extended period can you? (I can't anyway). I think stamina is the key...

MerlinsBeard87 · 13/08/2018 20:11

I did mine and had ds1 and ds2 during my studies. It's not easy! You have to be determined to finish. I had funding for 3 years which wasn't realistic in my situation- it took me nearly 5 full time

Bluebelltulip · 13/08/2018 20:12

I'm near the end of my phD and I've mainly worked 9-5 hours with some weekend work when required for experiments. I studied full time until I had DD at the beginning of my final year, I took a year maternity and returned doing 75%.

tiggykate · 13/08/2018 20:20

I did my PhD in my early 20s. It was a science research PhD and due to the nature of my work it took over my life for the three and a half years. I had to be in the lab most weekends and sometimes in the middle of the night (cell work). I couldn’t have done it with kids. It also wouldn’t have been worth it. I don’t think it did much to improve my career prospects and I could have earned more than my stipend if I got a job. One of my colleagues had a preschooler when she started and her husband gave up work to look after him. Her circumstances were different though. She was from Asia and having a PhD from our university massively improved her career when she returned home.

CustardOmlet · 13/08/2018 21:11

I’ve just finished a 1yr PGCert course, with a full time job and I have a 5 and 1yr old. I could walk away now with a qualification that’s good for my current job role, but I’ve applied to do a complete masters course for the fun of it, not sure why I thought this was a good idea!

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