I hate what I look like

[rolypolymoly]

So basically. I hate everything about my appearance.

I want to lose weight, I'm currently about a 12 at 5'4.

I hate my clothes. I want to be more stylish.

My make up always looks shit.

My hair is rubbish and always feels as though it needs washed and doesn't really look styled.

I just feel shit about myself.

Where do I start? 😩😩😩😩

Wow.... I could have wrote this about myself... same height, same size, same issues etc.....

I've been thinking a lot about it the last few days.

Have you tried slimming world? That's the only diet I've ever lost weight on.

I know I'm not 'fat', but I feel chunky and lethargic. I'm frantically trying to pay cc debt off so all my money is ploughed in to that right now. My hair is lank and desperately needs a cut and colour. My clothes are 'meh'. I don't want to buy anything until i have lost a good stone.

You need to chance your mindset. "Feel good look good". Maybe attend a local exercise class, where you can not only take time out for yourself, but it's a great place to socialise.

I was thinking about doing couch to 5k, which believe me is so not me haha.

You think a size 12 is overweight?! Are you in the U.K., OP, because half of all British women are a size 16 or fatter! (US sizes are different - I think their 12 is a few sizes larger than ours)
Your problem is not your appearance, it’s your confidence and mindset as Redpill has said.
Far too many women are obsessed with their looks, waste hours on make up and fortunes on fashion - time that men spend on progressing their careers.
Believe in yourself. Believe that you have far more important qualities than your outward appearance - that’s just the wrapping paper of your soul!
And even if you looked like a stunning supermodel, it’s purely temporary. We all get old and wrinkly, and looks disappear. If they’re all a woman’s got, then frankly she’s screwed!

There's little we can do to change ourselves other than our mindset. I look at my daughters who are slim and beautiful and think 'I looked like that once', but I'm 30 years older, given birth twice, have an office job and like my food.

Play around with a few hairstyle til you find one you do like and start from there. Wear clothes appropriate to your shape (ie baggy on me), a nice perfume and pair of shoes and you're good to go

I know I am not the original OP, but I was thinking about posting a similar post yesterday. I am size 12 UK.

Thanks for the replies. I get what you are saying. But I just feel so 'blah'. I have a good job with lots of opportunity to progress.

I have a best friend who is just so gorgeous. Teeny tiny, tanned, beautiful. Earns lots of money so has so many more opportunities and choices than I have. I know I shouldn't compare myself (I'm in my 30's!) - but I guess it's human nature.

I split up with my DD dad in Jan, he was awful to me, took me for granted, hadn't paid me a compliment in years... but I don't think it's that. I think it's just me.

I think I just don't know where to start. I know people say change your mindset but I don't know how 😩.

I'm only 26 but I just feel so "yuk" and boring looking with boring clothes, no style and just generally ugly.

I've read that taking selfies will boost self-confidence. Never tried it as I don't like my appearance, couldn't you try it and check whether it's true?

The thing that has made a huge difference to how I feel about my appearance has been to start exercising ( running group). I’m not really any slimmer and don’t look different but s feel so much better about my body and what it can do.

I'd make hair a top priority - I always feel more put together and confident when I feel like it's "done", even if I'm in my favourite slobbing clothes.

I'm 5'4 and was a 12 at uni. I used my fitness pal and went to a gym 3x a week for 3 months. Got down to 8stone and have managed to stay a size 8 (generally within 8stone area with fluctuations) ever since. It did my confidence a world of good!
Just make yourself do it, put all the effort you put into disliking yourself into exercise for a while (bike to work, take up jogging, walk on a high incline on a treadmill)?

You don't have to lose weight, but if you want to then you just have to do it!

Roly - who don't you try Topshop? Someone told me that they do a personal shopping thing - no pressure to buy. You tell a stylist the kind of things you like and they go around and pick bits for you, as well as suggesting items for your shape, height etc. It's hard when you are our height, I find certain clothes just swamp me. Like they're wearing me, rather than me wearing them.

Or maybe start with painting your nails and doing a light fake tan. I'm really pale and find doing a tan really helps me feel better.

Me too. Currently doing weight watchers.. lost two stone but still 5 to go. I don't wear makeup as I feel too conscious and my hair is a frizzy mess. No idea where to start on improving myself.

CP - well done - 2 stone is AMAZING!

If you feel self conscious why don't you start with a tinted moisturiser, some mascara and a light blusher. Something really natural.

I think a good haircut and colour would make the biggest difference.

I agree with the haircut. I so need mine doing but it's about £100 for full head foils and cut. Desperate though.

Start doing weights and slowly change your diet to be protein heavy and carbohydrate light. The rest will follow, your weight will fall off, the body will shape up, skin and hair will improve within 6 months to a year. If you can afford it, enlist the help of a personal trainer to guide you with your diet choices and weights technique.

Oh and at least 8 glasses of water a day (tea etc does not count)

I was where you are now, absolutely loathed how I looked/felt, avoided looking at myself in mirrors, it was so bad. Felt like an old lady before my time. Not anymore!!! My figure is coming back 18 months on and with it my self-esteem and well-being.

You can do it, just make that first step x

Place

Thanks LesTrois.

How low is low carbs? When I've done slimming world it's been 2 x 400g wholemeal bread but pasta, potatoes as and when you like, obviously within reason.

I guess it just feels a big mountain to climb. I am fairly confident in general. I just don't feel myself right now. A bad breakup, although I'm glad it's over, has left is mark. I guess sometimes I just don't feel worth the effort and plough all my energy into my daughter.

It is about taking that first step though, and no one else can do that for me.

And sorry roly. I hope you don't think I've hijacked this post! I understand exactly how you're feeling and find the replies useful. X

Concentrate on one thing at a time otherwise you will feel totally overwhelmed and end up doing nothing! So for example this week give yourself a nice manicure and pedicure, then say the following week do some deep conditioning on your hair, also watch some do it yourself you tube tutorials on hair and make up they are quite addictive! Try and do something positive to improve your appearance each week and it will have a cumulative effect on how you look and feel and make you want to do more. You could even write yourself a timetable for each week on what you want to achieve. Within a couple of months you could look and more importantly feel so much better about yourself. Good luck OP.

Oh God this could be me. I’m 50 next month and need to lose three stone to get down to a size 10 (am 5’ 4”). I hate the sight of myself. My hair is, as a P.P said, a frizzy mess. I do a lot of yoga but otherwise loathe exercise.
I am so depressed at the thought that this is how it will be from now on.

I'm the same size as you and can't understand why you need to lose weight?

@JaneJeffer it can't be that difficult to understand can it? The OP clearly feels happier/ more comfortable when she is slimmer.