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fish

38 replies

Imawurzel · 31/05/2007 20:55

Two fish in a bowl, one says to the other, how d'ya drive this thing??

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RubberDuck · 31/05/2007 20:58

Was screwing up the punchline intentional?

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Imawurzel · 31/05/2007 20:58

guess so. Thats how i heard it .
How does it go then

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whomovedmychocolate · 31/05/2007 20:59

Two fish in a tank

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whomovedmychocolate · 31/05/2007 21:00

Why did the surrealist cross the road?

Fish
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What do you call a fish with no eyes

FSH
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What do nuclear scientists get from the takeaway?

Fission chips

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RubberDuck · 31/05/2007 21:00

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SenoraPostrophe · 31/05/2007 21:01

lol

it's one of my favourite jokes.

another is...

how do you know if there's an elephant in your firdge?

you can't get your bike in.

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Imawurzel · 31/05/2007 21:01

ah, tank. I do forget these things.

What do you call a blind dinosaur??

doyouthinkhesawus?

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RubberDuck · 31/05/2007 21:03

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
There there, don't cry!

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Imawurzel · 31/05/2007 21:03

SP. DH loved that joke.
I thought it was odd.

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whomovedmychocolate · 31/05/2007 21:03

What lies at the bottom of the sea, shivering?

A nervous wreck

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What's yellow and dangerous?

Shark infested custard

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What's yellow and swings through the jungle?

Tarzipan
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What do you get if you feed a duck to a cat?

A duck filled fatty puss

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Is it inane joke night?

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Imawurzel · 31/05/2007 21:04

oh yeah bring em on.

Im off now, jordon and peter are on.
bye.

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SenoraPostrophe · 31/05/2007 21:04

omg I can't think of any other fish jokes!

I never run out of cheesy jokes...

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SenoraPostrophe · 31/05/2007 21:05

but other animal jokes...

how do you make a dog drink?

put one in a liquidiser

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RubberDuck · 31/05/2007 21:11

pmsl

How do you get an elephant down from a tree?
Put him on a leaf and wait until autumn.

How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?
Your nose will be pressed against the ceiling.

How do you know if an elephant has been in the fridge?
From the footprints in the butter.

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DontCallMeBaby · 31/05/2007 21:12

The fish one (told correctly ) is my all-time favourite clean joke. My favourite unclean one is about DH Lawrence, it's a bit poncy but has a thoroughly satisfying punchline.

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RubberDuck · 31/05/2007 21:13

Go on... we're all grownups, we can cope with an unclean joke

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whomovedmychocolate · 31/05/2007 21:22

Come of then, let's hear it.

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NikkiBFG · 31/05/2007 21:24

I know a filthy one

Oldish bloke going down on an oldish woman. When he finishes he says
ey luv, bit whiffy down there

I know its my arthritis

you get athritis in your fanjo?

No, its in my elbow and I can't wipe my arse

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whomovedmychocolate · 31/05/2007 21:32

PMSL

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NoNoNoNo · 31/05/2007 21:35

Q: what did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

A: Dam!

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Pesha · 31/05/2007 21:41

PMSL

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2 of course but the light bulb has to be big enough

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NoNoNoNo · 31/05/2007 21:45

How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change ...

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whomovedmychocolate · 31/05/2007 21:48

How many Daily Mail readers does it take to change a lightbulb?

CHANGE - WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO CHANGE ALL THE TIME, I REMEMBER WHEN THINGS STAYED THE SAME. IMMIGRATION, THAT'S WHY, CHEAP FOREIGN LIGHTBULBS, THAT'S THE CAUSE OF IT!