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Original poster

Wedding whilst renting

26 replies

Kay212 · 21/07/2018 20:57

What's people's thoughts on getting married whilst living in a home that isn't your own? Is a mortgage more important than marriage?

OP posts:
CaseStudyResearch · 21/07/2018 21:29

I could easily afford to get married, but could not afford a house.

Not everyone spends 20-25k on a wedding.

Plus I wanted to have the safety net of being married before we enter into a contract where we owe hundreds of thousands of pounds.

Intheprimeoflime · 21/07/2018 21:30

We married while renting. It didn't occur to me not to, we had been trying to buy a house for years but couldn't get a mortgage. We finally bought a house 2 years later!

MyNameIsNotSteven · 21/07/2018 21:32

Might be good to have the financial protection of marriage before buying.

Interested in this thread?

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Weddings
LilKi · 22/07/2018 11:34

Thanks for the messages! Totally agree! Having a lot of snobbery about having a wedding and not having a house! X

Raven88 · 22/07/2018 11:39

I don't ever plan to buy a house so we rented whilst getting married.

MoreProsecco · 22/07/2018 16:27

Nowadays, with average weddings costing so much & home despite being so high, I expect many FTB's are having to choose between these, as together it's unaffordable for both.

My personal view is that a deposit is a better use of money. You have nothing to show for it with a wedding, beyond some photos.

Of course there's the "princess for a day" crew, who will say that a wedding is "making memories" etc, but others (like me) feel it's an obscene waste of money.

YearOfYouRemember · 22/07/2018 16:29

Yes because a wedding is meaningless Hmm.

Legal protection that is banged on about on here …

MoreProsecco · 22/07/2018 16:33

It depends on whether you mean a wedding or a marriage.

A wedding you can do for £200 or £20K.

If you don't have a house deposit, I think it's crazy to spend £20K on a wedding instead of that.

DieAntword · 22/07/2018 17:01

I got married while renting. Even more shocking we had kids while renting. If I waited till I could afford a house I wouldn’t have had many fertile years left (and I wasn’t having kids without getting married first!)

DieAntword · 22/07/2018 17:02

Oh and our wedding and honeymoon was about 7k in total. Not as cheap as some of course but most of that was the honeymoon and it was my first and only expensive holiday in my life.

thedevilinablackdress · 22/07/2018 17:04

I spent about £200 on my wedding, so it depends if you want to be married or if you want to be married and have the big £££ party.

ImAGoofyGoober · 22/07/2018 17:05

I think it would be a ridiculous waste of money to have a fancy wedding instead of putting the deposit down on a house.

LordEmsworth · 22/07/2018 17:10

Really? It's only in the last generation that home owners have outnumbered renters, until about 1970 renters were the majority. People still got married. Even now a third of households live in rented homes, I bet they don't (all) think of it as "a home that isn't their own".

Timeforcalm · 22/07/2018 17:18

I was 13 weeks pregnant with our first when my DH and I got married. It wasn’t a big do - only his family came (mine couldn’t be bothered) and we had a sit down meal afterwards and a few drinks (well, everyone else did! I was designated driver!)
We were saving for a house deposit and managed to buy just less than a year later while I was on maternity leave.

Alwayscommuting · 22/07/2018 17:22

Married in 2014 bought our house in 2016. Worked just fine for us, we actually got married first but that was because we didn't actually think we would ever be able to buy.

happymummy12345 · 22/07/2018 17:25

I lived in a student flat when we got married and conceived our baby. We could not afford a house, still can't. But we are married and have a toddler so.

Racecardriver · 22/07/2018 17:28

I would marry before buying a house. Why make that finacial commitment without a legal Commitment?

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 22/07/2018 17:29

Namechange fail?

We’d need a £150k deposit to buy the house we rent... if we waited to do the house before marrying we’d never marry.

Also I think it’s surely better to marry and then buy a house?

Gettingbackonmyfeet · 22/07/2018 17:33

Another here that married before buying

I find the assumption that the be all and end all I've seen on mumsnet that owning a house is vital really odd

Of course I want to own but no way was I going to put my life on hold until then

But again I had a cheap wedding too...barely hit 5 k

borlottibeans · 22/07/2018 17:40

If you live in it it IS your home, never mind who owns the bricks and mortar.

I think it's really sad that anyone would think marriage is only for the financially comfortable (and in the SE, the outright wealthy!)

If you're saying you have eg £20k and are wondering if that should pay for a massive wedding or a house deposit, I'd say the deposit. But if you're just not at the stage of your life yet where you're able to get a mortgage I don't see why on earth that means you can't be married.

I would say this, of course, because I got married earlier this year from my rented house. We did it cheaply and it hasn't affected our ability to get a mortgage, which we are now doing.

BackforGood · 22/07/2018 17:46

I think you might have to give us more details.
Like many other posters, I think anyone who spent £20k or more on a 'wedding day' when they were struggling to buy their own home was daft had different priorities from me, but that doesn't mean people who can't afford to buy their own home shouldn't get married.
I'd need more info before agreeing or disagreeing with those judging you Wink

MrsICantSayMyName · 22/07/2018 17:46

It doesn't matter.

DBoo · 22/07/2018 17:51

Dp and i are planning our wedding whilst renting but it's a cheap one. I couldn't spend 10k+ on a wedding whilst renting knowing that is a deposit or a hefty chunk towards one.

I am a hypocrite though as i have children and rent but there's more time constraints on that unfortunately.

Rebecca36 · 22/07/2018 18:03

No! It's good to start off married life without having to do house maintenance. Spoken by someone who did buy a house and marry. I hated things being done to the house, or started and abandoned, by husband. Bless him, he was so enthusiastic. That's a long time ago now - but you can be happy without too many responsibilities for a while.

Imchlibob · 22/07/2018 18:33

It's very sensible to get married first. Marriage helps make things clear when you are intertwining your financial futures. There is no more yours and mine, we both put all our efforts into building what is ours.

Marry. Keep a lid on the budget and don't go for meaningless frill. You are just as married if you just spend £3,000 than if you spend £30,000 and can even get away with £300.

Combine all finances so that all funds go into a joint account and you are both equal in spending it.

Save like billy-oh.

Get a mortgage.

when you are able to stop renting and have a mortgage do not allow your lifestyle to expand to fit your new disposable income due to repayments being lower than rent and no longer saving. Keep saving. If have a baby (or even more than one) you will need a savings cushion to get you through maternity leave, and if you are used to putting aside a few hundred each month then childcare costs won't hurt so much.

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