Friends have booked a restaurant we can't afford

[Neonn]

We've been planning to go out with another couple for a joint birthday celebration for a while now. We had discussed a few places and they have just text to say "that's XYZ restaurant booked for Saturday at 6.30."

This would normally be fine.

However, we just cannot afford it. It's not extortionate but it's slightly more expensive than the places we had been discussing.

I don't know what to do? Do we just go and order the cheapest thing/ don't drink?

I really don't want to tell them the real reason as I know they'll just offer to pay for the whole thing and that would make me uncomfortable.

I do think you should say something to them. Tell them how much you're looking forward to catching up, but the current restaurant looks a bit pricey and you'd much rather go to X instead and offer to change the booking.

Am slightly chuckling about Zizzis being seen as the default reasonable restaurant by someone upthread. Yes it is unless your eating companions decide to have the prawns to start, a meat main course, dessert and a liqueur coffee with a few glasses of wine. That's where I am off too tonight for a group meal and I really hope the offender isn't there as I don't want to subsidise his bloody dinner and its too awkward to not split the bill.

My friend texted our group today to say that she can’t afford Fuegos so can we go to Prezzo.

We all said of course we can.

No issues.

How about "that sounds great thank you but it's been such an expensive month with lots of Birthdays and we are feeling the pinch so would you mind if we went to A or B instead this time? Totally understand if you'd rather not and instead we can have a another get together sometime soon" ?

I dropped out of a school mum's meal once. They went somewhere more expensive and further away than usual. I simply couldn't justify the expense..

I simply told them that I am a LP and have to think about the money I spend.

Just tell them it's too expensive. What are you embarrassed about?

MaiaRindell, the other parents were CFs taking the piss. Who in their right mind would expect a LP to afford to split the bill. Stand up for yourself next time.

I know I shouldn't be embarrassed and they are our friends. It's been a tight month and we just don't really talk about money. I'd just feel awkward about it but I know that's my issue.

I have suggested somewhere else on the basis that it's closer to the train station. I know they'll be drinking so hopefully this will swing it. Cop out on my part, I know.

If you do go and eat as cheap as you can, then make sure that you state right at the point of ordering that you are paying for your own and not splitting the bill.

Hope that they go with your suggestion!

I think it's a good idea. I also don't like discussing money even with friends.

Hope they agree.

"I know I shouldn't be embarrassed and they are our friends."

I'm sorry, but I don't understand why you would feel embarrassed. Imagine how embarrassed and awkward your friends are going to feel when you order the cheapest thing on the menu and drink tap water and then ask for a separate bill, all for the sake of not feeling able to be honest with people who are your friends.

FGS, woman up and just tell them.

If they're friends there should be no embarrassment.

Honesty is always the best policy and real friends won't mind x

Good suggestion regarding the station! 🤞they go for it.

Don’t be embarrassed though, I’ve had friends who are really quite well off ask to go to cheap places for dinner because they’ve overspent on their kitchen refurb, just got back from an expensive holiday, are saving up to do a loft conversion etc. Real friends won’t mind! And it’s far better to be honest and insist on somewhere affordable so you can all have fun than to sit somewhere drinking water, only ordering a main course, insisting on a separate tab and generally being a total killjoy.

Just say "I'm really sorry, money is tight right now and we can't really afford that place. I wouldn't feel comfortable about you paying the whole bill either, so please don't suggest that! Could we please go somewhere a bit cheaper - restaurant X, for instance?"

This is perfect IMO.

Why can't you just say that it's out of your price range atm? When they offer to pay tell the truth - you'd be much happier going to a place that is within your budget.

Why not pretend you've already booked somewhere ? Then quickly book somewhere ( cheaper) and hope they cancel theirs?