Forced to take polygraph by my husband

[Smithm59]

Well last Friday my husband forced me to take a lie detector test as he is convinced I cheated on him when away on a business trip. I have been with him for 32 years and married for 26. I have never had another sexual partner.
I passed the test and he is now very sorry but I am heartbroken that he could do this to me. I feel like I have been assaulted.
I don't think there is any going back from this.

Youngest that should say

Seriously? Your oh made you have a lie detector test? Bonkers. Why are you with someone who has such serious trust issues?

The polygraph test is almost universally regarded as extremely flawed. As soon as he reads about this he is going to insist on another method of 'testing' you. What will it be? Vaginal swabs as soon as you get in from work to ensure there's no other man's sperm inside you?

He will resort to this. There is no end to what he will do to keep you downtrodden and tiptoeing around him. There honestly is a great life outside this relationship, OP, you don't need to be afraid of the daylight. Your kids will be fine, millions of kids are fine when their parents separate. Don't use them as an excuse for inactivity.

I am broken hearted. My kids are the only thing keeping me going as he walks around as if nothing has happened

I'd highly recommend you take the advice that's been given to you on here. You have choices. All the best OP.

I tried to broach the subject with my littlest one. She is 13. Broke my heart she got so upset. She has been quite sick lately, just had a brain mri yesterday. She does not need this crap.

Its abusive and you should leave him. It will be better for your kids in the long run not to be around a relationship as unhealthy as this.
Im sure it will be hard for your daughter in the short term but do you honestly want her growing up thinking that she should put up with this sort of controlling and jealous behaviour from a man? And she will pick up on it over time. Set her a good example and get the hell away from him.

She is 13. You don't discuss the abusive behaviour with her. You need to protect her from it by leaving.

Talk to your adult children. Get them to help you, but not the one who is still dependent. The way your H has treated you is too complicated to explain to her.

Please think of your youngest. Leave him.

OP, your children will survive and thrive just as well. The difference is, you'll be safer, happier and living a normal life.

Your DH WILL step this up I can assure you. My ex-P resorted to pretending to greet me with a romantic embrace before forcibly checking to see how wet/aroused I was when coming in from work (1st time) and seeing friends (their husbands were present and ex-P thought I fancied one of them *I didn't (2nd time). There wasn't a third time. There's nothing quite like loving someone and being utterly faithful to them, then being treated like a piece of meat that they think they own.

These men exist. Your H is that man. Please get away before he takes away your one chance of independence. Your job sounds like your saviour and should he jeopardise that, you are even more vulnerable to him. Your DC are then more vulnerable too.

Start planning OP. You are worth more than this.

Op . You need to make plans for yourself including legal advice . Then tell the children what is happening.

The uncertainty is unsettling for them . When I left my abusive husband despite me thinking I had protected my ds he instantly relaxed when we left ( he was a baby) it is surprising what you think you protected them from but we aren’t

Your DC don't need to think that this is normal, you'll be protecting them much more if you leave. How would you feel if your dd came to you and described her relationship as you do?

You don't need to put up with this, talk to a domestic violence helpline, you need to get out and away from this man

Lie detector - that would be the end of the marriage and I would file for divorce under unreasonable behaviour. This is not normal. Generally, a husband and wife trust one another and you are a team and a family. You don't need to discuss with your children why you want to leave/divorce. I would contact Women's Aid and ask for help. (If you wanted to cheat on him, it is your body, your decision, he can't stop you)

OP, do not discuss your situation with any of your children. My mother used to confide in my sister and I about her shit relationship with our dad and it messed us up enormously. Do not put this on your 13 year olds shoulders. You are the adult and the parent - you make the decisions about what happens. It will be much better for you and your children to get away from this vile abusive man. His behaviour is foul

Oh poor you that’s pretty harsh behaviour. Why was he so keen on finding out? Or has he always been a bit this way?

Great advice here to shield the children as they are too young. You need to leave. Do you have RL support?

It sounds like he is projecting his guilty conscience onto you. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if he has slept with someone else during your marriage.

If anyone asked me take a polygraph that'd be the end of the relationship as there's no longer any trust there.

If you stay "for the sake of the children" all you are doing is condemning them to the same sick relationships in later life. Don't discuss your abusive relationship with your children. Pick up the phone and make a life-changing phone call = as posted by Weezo earlier, the National DV helpline is free and staffed 24/7, call them on 0800 20002247.