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Original poster

Waitress lifted baby without asking

70 replies

cuppatea18 · 04/02/2018 15:50

Name changed...
Was out today at a local cafe that I've been at once before with a friend and my DD 9 months. My DD was in a high hair when one of the waitresses came over, made some baby talk with her and then actually tried to lift her out, she was strapped in obviously so the waitress seemed to give up.

We had our food and my friend had took my DD out and was holding her, the same waitress as before came out and literally lifted my baby from my friends arms and actually walked away with her!! She walked to the other end of the cafe and seemed to want to show my baby to the other customers! I followed her and asked politely for my baby back Hmm
The waitress never asked me if she could do any of this btw.

Is this not totally uncalled for and inappropriate?

OP posts:
missyB1 · 04/02/2018 16:52

why did he ring up? To get her in trouble? When we took ds to Greece the hotel staff were constantly picking him up and kissing him, we soon got used to it.

Regularsizedrudy · 04/02/2018 16:56

I doubt they will give a shit though if she’s the assistant manager. Yeah it’s a bit odd but no harm done.

Crashbangwhatausername · 04/02/2018 16:57

I agree this happens more out of the UK but it used to happen quite regularly to us within the UK, I honestly never found it anything other than normal and was always grateful to have help/pleased that people appreciated how amazing my offspring were and wanted to cuddle them Wink where in the UK are you? Perhaps different places are less friendly?

WallisFrizz · 04/02/2018 17:01

Not sure why some people are giving you a hard time. Who gives a fuck if it is common in Spain or Italy, you’re in the U.K. and perfectly entitled to object about someone picking up your baby and walking off. I wouldn’t like it either. In fact a shop assistant in Sainsburys took my toddlers hand and walked him to the window whilst I was packing my shopping. She was trying to be nice so I didn’t say anything directly but I did go and get him. I don’t want my dc being led off by strangers!

Haffdonga · 04/02/2018 17:03

Another adding to the chorus of it's normal in other countries.

In dh's country I remember being slightly perturbed that the waiter immediately scooped up baby ds and took him off into the restaurant kitchen completely out of sight.

I love cultures that enjoy babies and celebrate them being out and about instead of frowning at children in restaurants.

coffeecoffeemorecoffee · 04/02/2018 17:08

I’m with you on this OP. Completely unacceptable, however I’d have stopped her the minute she tried to take the baby out of the highchair..

foodiefil · 04/02/2018 17:08

Inappropriate to you.

Friendly to someone else.

You've no doubt made her feel dreadful and embarrassed so object achieved I suppose Confused

Original poster
cuppatea18 · 04/02/2018 17:11

@foodiefil my objective was not to make her feel dreadful and embarrassed. But I highly doubt there are many mums who would consider it just "friendly" for someone you've never met before to literally take your baby from your friends arms and walk away with them without saying a word to the mother.

I wouldn't consider that friendly...

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 04/02/2018 17:13

Well even if OP didn’t like it it wasn’t a big deal. She asked for her baby back and got him end of story.
No need for her DH to be a dick about it

Lookatyourwatchnow · 04/02/2018 17:15

For fucks sake, as if your DH called up! Get a grip of yourself!

Applesandpears23 · 04/02/2018 17:15

YANBU when we went to a restaurant in china town the waiter tried to lead my friend’s 2 year old off to show her the kitchen. Fortunately the child refused so we were able to back her up. That is so weird.

NancyJoan · 04/02/2018 17:17

Unless your local cafe is also the motorway services, she was at most a few metres from you. It’s really not a big deal.

Scabetty · 04/02/2018 17:17

I think if you didn’t make your complaint at the time you just have to leave it. No harm was done.

foodiefil · 04/02/2018 17:18

Was your objective to protect other parents from the evil baby lifter? You weren't happy about it and should have said there and then but you didn't and you've festered, posted on here and told your husband who has dealt with it on your behalf. Probably because you were so vocally peeved about it. It's classic of someone who doesn't deal with things there and then to be wrapped up in it for longer than necessary.

You will have made her feel dreadful and embarrassed - you surely can't not have anticipated that

MyBrilliantDisguise · 04/02/2018 17:20

The waitress could easily have said, "Shall I take her for a walk around?" which would give you the option of saying yes or no. My daughter would've loved that, but my son would've screamed blue murder.

Whambarsarentasfizzyastheywere · 04/02/2018 17:24

It's the husband I would be angry with here.

Going behind your back to complain about a situation he wasn't involved in and you dealt with at the time is out of order.

Fwiw I think you're over reacting completely. You asked for your baby and she handed her back. She was just being friendly/trying to help.

IrianOfW · 04/02/2018 17:30

I am not sure I understand the word 'innapropriate' in this situation. It seems to mean that you don't like it so therefore you don't have to justify your reaction. Which of course you don't but it does mean a lot of people won't agree with you.

youngnomore · 04/02/2018 17:31

I cannot believe your dh rang up and complained about this. It’s not ok to pick up other people’s children without permission. But what on Earth do you think she was going to do ? She was in the cafe and right in front of you. She was being helpful /nice/ friendly. Why would this offend you so much Confused.

GetYourRocksOff · 04/02/2018 17:38

You couldn't even complain yourself? Confused

Honestly, no harm intended and I think it's a shame this woman will now get in trouble. You'll be moaning one day that no one pays attention to your baby or helps you when you've got arm's full of toddler and shopping...

It's sad. It's no wonder so many women feel alone and isolated when kind acts are complained about.

Original poster
cuppatea18 · 04/02/2018 17:40

@GetYourRocksOff I'm sorry but what about it was kind?

OP posts:
Original poster
cuppatea18 · 04/02/2018 17:41

I had no intention of complaining, nor did I ask my husband to do it for me.

OP posts:
GetYourRocksOff · 04/02/2018 17:42

I about cried with gratitude once on holiday where dh and I were taking it in turns to eat and bounce the baby. A lovely woman (a Glasgow granny) got up from the table behind us and said 'here hen give me the baby' and took him out my arms. She walked around with him, sang to him, and bounced him for 10 minutes whilst we ate. That kindness stayed with me.

DullAndOld · 04/02/2018 17:42

thre is nothing 'kind' about grabbing a baby without asking and taking it away from its mother, nothing at all.
I daresay the woman's body clock was ticking and she just wanted to use the baby to calm her raging hormones..Grin
Yes I am serious.

Steeley113 · 04/02/2018 17:44

I love it when people do this Grin take the baby, let me eat in peace! I remember taking my colicky second baby into Morrisons cafe once and he was screaming, a lovely lady who works there came over and picked him up and walked him round while I got to drink a hot cup of coffee and compose myself. More people should be like this and be less hostile. She wasn’t far away and there was no malicious intent, just someone who loves children. And as for getting your husband to call up, how wet are you Hmm

areyoufuckingcrazy · 04/02/2018 17:44

You got your husband to call up?

Is it 19-fucking-50?

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