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Original poster

birthday party dilemma

64 replies

IamAporcupine · 01/02/2018 21:53

We were extremely disorganised this year so we'll be having DS birthday party almost two months after his real birthday. He was ok with it, so no big deal.

When we were deciding what to do for his party, he had a couple of ideas: a hall or a soft play. I asked him many times if he really thought soft-play would be ok etc etc, and he kept saying he LOVED IT. So we went for that and got a date booked. It is the same place where he had his 4th and 5th party. He is 6 now.

Fast forward a few weeks and he is now saying that this place is 'a bit baby-ish'. I do not think he actually thinks that himself, but a couple of his friends said it, so he is having second thoughts.

He is going through a bad patch in school, there are some bullying issues so I totally understand his need to 'fit in'.

We are really torn. In any other circumstances I'd say I am sorry, I did ask you a lot of times if you were sure and you said yes. I also think that is important that if he likes it, then it does not matter what others think, etc etc, but given the current situation we do not want him to feel more insecure about it all.

What would you do?

a) Cancel it completely (we would lose £20, invitations have not been sent yet) and start looking again, so likely postponing the party another month.
b) Tell him to suck it up
c) Try to 'spice it up' somehow, ie something like a treasure hunt in the soft play maybe? or races? don't know, I've only just come up with this option, so any ideas are welcome!

OP posts:
BigBairyHollocks · 01/02/2018 21:56

Cancel and book again,sure you will only lose twenty quid and you could make him so happy.It matters a lot at that age,if people think they are babies or not.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 01/02/2018 21:57

Cancel it. Book him something else that's really 'cool'. These thing are important at his age.

Thebookswereherfriends · 01/02/2018 22:01

If you can afford to lose the £20 then I would cancel and book something else. Is he sporty at all? You could book one of those sports parties in a local leisure centre.

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6 year olds Events & celebrations
4yoniD · 01/02/2018 22:07

Must admit I'd go somewhere between b/c. Sounds like this is the party HE wants, but not what the loud kids wants and he is generally echoing them.

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 01/02/2018 22:14

Mhm I was hoping people would say c)!
That's what I prefer tbh. Not because of the money, we can afford to lose £20, but because it took ages to decide, we talked loads about it and the soft play option did seem the best option.

We had a few parties at climbing walls etc, and even though he did enjoy them at the time, he didn't want that for his own party as he said just wants to 'play with his friends, not climb up a wall alone!'

OP posts:
Mayhemmumma · 01/02/2018 22:17

A! He's already having a super late party, it'd be much better to have something to really look forward to and get excited about imo.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 01/02/2018 22:26

Could you do some sort of playing in the woods type party and back to yours for hot chocolate and hot dogs (or other food)? It is more interactive than climbing a climbing wall but maybe a bit more grown up than soft play, especially if he had his 4th and 5th birthdays there. It could also be a good reason for having his party late - wait until the spring so even if not dry it isn't bitter cold. He has waited this long for a party why not therefore have a party he wouldn't usually be able to have in winter.

I think that the problem with races etc is that unless it is exclusive hire there will be younger children around and it might be somewhat boisterous in a confined space.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 01/02/2018 22:28

There are places which run bushcraft type parties if you don't want to do it yourself.

Dermymc · 01/02/2018 22:29

Could you do a smaller cool activity with 4/5 friends?

Maybe a film and a meal after?

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 01/02/2018 22:34

Thanks shouldwestayorshouldwego I would love to do something outdoors. We live by the coast so it would be great to have a beach party, but I really do not think he'd be happy to wait that long. He has already started to wish it was 'the day before his party'.

The soft play would be exclusive hire. It is not a huge place though so races might not work. I wish I could come up with a great original idea!

OP posts:
Invisimamma · 01/02/2018 22:34

I think at 6 soft play is starting to get a bit babyish tbh. Also my son is tall for his age so by 6 he wasn’t allowed in our nearest one (130cm limit) so we would have to decline anyway.

What about laser quest or bowling?

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 01/02/2018 22:36

No, film would not work Dermymc. He really just wants to play around with a lot of kids!

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 01/02/2018 22:38

We’re lucky our soft play has a laser quest option from 5 plus. Unfortunately they don’t do adult parties.

How long until the party day?

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 01/02/2018 22:40

oh that sounds good MiddleClassProblem!

It's booked for the 10th March

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 01/02/2018 22:41

Trampoline parks are in (although I know some internet tales of woe but no rl ones and I think most places have that, I mean look at bouncy castles).

As pp said, bowling can work at 6.

Is there anything he’s into? A sport? Science? Acting? etc

BikeRunSki · 01/02/2018 22:44

Can the soft play do a disco party. laser tag etc if you have exclusive hire? (One near us does this for older children). I agree that 6 is a bit olde for soft pay parties. DS is the eldest boy in his class (first week of Sept) and had a soft play 6th birthday. Because his birthday is so early in the school year, I'd send out his invitations in later June. By Sept, soft play was definitely a bit babyish and many guests were Hmm.

HeddaGarbled · 01/02/2018 22:44

I wonder whether he wouldn't prefer to just do something with one or two of his proper friends? Cinema plus meal or day at a theme park for example.

It's easier to get kudos from a fab exclusive event plus he can pick the friends who he will enjoy spending time with and leave out the nasty little sods.

butterfly990 · 01/02/2018 22:45

I did this for my DS's party one year.

He was the coolest kid ever with this party.
go-kartparty.co.uk/about-us/

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 01/02/2018 22:48

He loves magic and circus. I did look into that.

In fact we've been through most of these options the first time around, bouncy castles, trampolines, cars, etc etc and he always ended up saying there was no need for any of that!

We went bowling for his birthday and he really enjoyed it. He was actually saying today that he would like to have the bowling place inside the soft-play!

Argh, I do not know what to do!

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 01/02/2018 22:51

Could you give us a general area or a county to google what’s there for you? Don’t worry if you don’t want to.

If affordable, what about hiring circus skills people either at a hall or home if space?

GreenTulips · 01/02/2018 22:54

Do 6 year olds really want the cinema and a meal? Sounds really boring for them.

Go on a bear hunt in the forest - or find a lollipop tree -

Laser blast is fun - we have an out door one round a forest with a camp fire for hotdogs and got chocolate thrown in at £10 per head

Personally I'd go for D) and not invite the rotten kids who think your party is rubbish - and post lots of pictures on FB if a fav happy day -- but that's just me

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 01/02/2018 22:54

Yes, I have just sent an email to a circus company to see if they would do something like that.

Not sure about giving out location, but many thanks for the offer!

OP posts:
Original poster
IamAporcupine · 01/02/2018 22:58

He was the coolest kid ever with this party.

You see, I do not care if he is the coolest boy, just want him to be happy with his party and his choice.

OP posts:
Torrenueva · 01/02/2018 22:59

Could you use the soft play but throw some nerf guns into the mix? Maybe hide a flag that a team has to capture somewhere?

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 01/02/2018 23:00

HeddaGarbled I know what you mean but he does want a proper party.
Plus, unfortunately, he does not have any very close friends.

OP posts: