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Original poster

birthday party dilemma

64 replies

IamAporcupine · 01/02/2018 21:53

We were extremely disorganised this year so we'll be having DS birthday party almost two months after his real birthday. He was ok with it, so no big deal.

When we were deciding what to do for his party, he had a couple of ideas: a hall or a soft play. I asked him many times if he really thought soft-play would be ok etc etc, and he kept saying he LOVED IT. So we went for that and got a date booked. It is the same place where he had his 4th and 5th party. He is 6 now.

Fast forward a few weeks and he is now saying that this place is 'a bit baby-ish'. I do not think he actually thinks that himself, but a couple of his friends said it, so he is having second thoughts.

He is going through a bad patch in school, there are some bullying issues so I totally understand his need to 'fit in'.

We are really torn. In any other circumstances I'd say I am sorry, I did ask you a lot of times if you were sure and you said yes. I also think that is important that if he likes it, then it does not matter what others think, etc etc, but given the current situation we do not want him to feel more insecure about it all.

What would you do?

a) Cancel it completely (we would lose £20, invitations have not been sent yet) and start looking again, so likely postponing the party another month.
b) Tell him to suck it up
c) Try to 'spice it up' somehow, ie something like a treasure hunt in the soft play maybe? or races? don't know, I've only just come up with this option, so any ideas are welcome!

OP posts:
Original poster
IamAporcupine · 01/02/2018 23:14

Torrenueva
Are nerf guns, water guns? I do not think they will let me do that, as there will be another party after ours. But that's the kind of thing that I was thinking of.

I have to say that I find it odd that guests might go Hmm
Surely kids at that age still want to run around and chase each other?

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 01/02/2018 23:15

Nerf guns have foam ammo but collecting them up after would be a bugger if there’s a party after you.

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 01/02/2018 23:54

Can't believe I am going through all this again!

OP posts:

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Original poster
IamAporcupine · 02/02/2018 00:14

PS - thanks everyone for the suggestions!

OP posts:
IsItSummerYet2018 · 02/02/2018 01:44

Bowling?

Jon66 · 02/02/2018 02:28

A farm in tiddington used to do farm parties, included climbing through hay bale mazes and a pony ride altogether. Son loved it, he was 7ish I think.

ArcheryAnnie · 02/02/2018 13:19

I am agog that any six year old would think soft play "babyish"! My DS was pretty miffed when at 11 he was no longer allowed on the soft play equipment to chase his smaller cousins around.

Have you got a trampolining centre near you at all, like Rush or similar? Because those are ace, and ideal to take a small group of friends to, of all ages.

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 02/02/2018 13:41

Thanks ArcherieAnnie

We actually do have a trampoline centre near us, and looked into it at the time, but DS was adamant he wanted to invite 20-25 kids, so we could not afford it. We talked about it and kept saying the soft play was better!

OP posts:
Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 02/02/2018 13:44

I'd rather not throw a child a party at all than force them to "suck up" one they've said they don't want Confused
I'm also very surprised at a six year old considering softplay babyish, though. It's the prime age for those places, isn't it?

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 02/02/2018 14:00

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar
I totally agree. I was listing options, I would never force him to have something he really does not want. But at the same time, if we had already paid £100s and sent the invitations we would not really have a choice?

That's why I still think I'd prefer to go with option c), just not sure how!

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MiddleClassProblem · 02/02/2018 14:15

I mean, a treasure hunt with prizes? Or maybe hide party bags with each child’s name on around the soft play (have a few back ups) and they have to find them all and then can win extra things to go in?

MiddleClassProblem · 02/02/2018 14:16

Just note down where you hid each one so you can give clues or know where to look for missing ones

Tidypidy · 02/02/2018 14:30

We do parties at home. Ds1s birthday party last year we did challenges in the garden despite the fact it was -1! We asked everyone to wear old warm clothes and had a fantastic time. We made bird cakes with lard and bird seed then came inside for hot dogs and hot choc. They enjoyed pass the parcel and silly dancing too! Was his 8th birthday and only cost about £50. This year was an ancient Egypt theme. They made masks and bracelets before turning daddies into mummies with loo roll. Parties at home are great!

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 02/02/2018 14:36

Oh I like that MiddleClassProblem!
Like a personalised treasure hunt!

OP posts:
Original poster
IamAporcupine · 02/02/2018 14:43

Tidypidy I really like parties at home too, and I am hoping we can do one at some point but:
weather is too cold so it will have to be indoors.
he wants 20 (not sure where he gets this number from)
parents still stay during parties....

I will ask him anyway, he might like the idea!

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MiddleClassProblem · 02/02/2018 14:45

Also it stops some kids missing out whilst others get loads and if they have to find them before they can get extra stuff they can help each other find them too.

AnneOfCleavage · 02/02/2018 14:52

I would stick with the original plan of the soft play but spice it up as you say.
Have some treasure hunt questions specifically for that soft play place e.g first one to find a red ball and bring it back....1-2-3 go.

You'll need to get there a bit earlier to hide things or tie things to the netting. If you have under ten children you could get some coloured ribbon and tie them around the place and each child is assigned a colour ribbon to find whilst playing.

You could do fun activities like who can throw a ball the furthest or get it to land in a bucket etc. It could be done in teams if some children don't like being singularly competitive.

I won a soft play party one year and I am sure DD was at least 7 and her friends had a blast. I am sure it's just one boy who is egging on the others. Your son could always quietly say that he doesn't have to come if he'd rather not and watch how he backtracks. No bully likes to be left out.

GreenTulips · 02/02/2018 16:28

There are bird gun 'centers ' I know there's in in Liverpool so may be some somewhere else?

Like laser blast with soft foam bullets -

Ladyaramis98 · 02/02/2018 16:31

I agree that spicing it may be the best option. You could get some inflatable swords for a sword fight. We recently did a party in a village hall for my DD (ferries & pirates) and those were a hit for both boys and girls. Kids took them home afterwards. A paper treasure chest with sweets was another hit - maybe you could hide those for a treasure hunt.

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 02/02/2018 21:39

Update - we talked about this again today and he was very happy with the treasure hunt idea!

Now I really need to think HOW to do it properly

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Lovelyusername · 02/02/2018 21:59

When they get there the kids will have a fab fine, so just keep it v simple.

I would have a treasure box and the children have to find a certain amount of coloured balls to open it. Obviously that one or two colours they can’t find.

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 02/02/2018 22:47

Thanks Lovelyusername I like the coloured balls idea.

You think I should keep it simple? I was starting to plan clues and codes to crack!

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shouldwestayorshouldwego · 03/02/2018 07:34

Has he watched swashbuckle on CBeebies? You could steal some ideas from there. You probably only want 10-15 minutes of activities because most of them will just want to play.

Elpheba · 03/02/2018 07:40

I've done a visual treasure hunt before- you could go and take close up and tricky photos of areas in the soft play and then print and put in envelopes so each person has one to find that's theirs. Don't put the actual party bag/prize there- put a token or laminated bit of treasure that you can tie on (with their name on) then they bring it to you to exchange for their prize.
Means they can all help each other- don't steal prizes that aren't theirs etc.

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 03/02/2018 13:34

shouldwestayorshouldwego Haven't watched swashbuckle, I will have a look, thanks!

Elpheba oooh the close-up picture idea is great, thanks!

So do you all think it should be just one round of clues? I was thinking three or four, with one where they all need to get together to crack the code for the next clue.

I love puzzles and riddles so I might go a bit overboard! My son is the same, he was saying we could have a 'Maths party' Confused

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