Dirty Looks on public transport

[thirdeyemagic]

Hello,
I travel a lot and tend to use a baby carrier with my little 9 month year old daughter.
It's so fun exploring with her (I am 22 and haven't slowed down with the travelling).

The only issue is that my child tends to chat a lot and sing on trains/buses.
That's not the issue. She looks so happy.
The issue is the immature fellow passengers that turn around and blatantly give us dirty looks.

She never cries or sleeps. Really energetic so I can't exactly cover her mouth and restrain her??

I almost started a fight with one man that kept turning around today.

What do other mums do?

PS
I understand children after a certain age should be taught manners. But still I hate societies attitude.

Babies are human beings too. With wants and desires. She's not going to sit there like a doll.
People act like my child is some annoying parasite. I hate it.

Not sure how to handle this.

Slimthistime
Hahaha I will definetely support the cause! Now I feel a bit sorry for the commuters!
But unfortunately my child and I also have to use public transport !

I should probably get a car as well. Save everyone the trouble !

Coolas you are definitely not alone.

Oh and I'd be judging you for giving a baby a device to watch too - I'd probably accidentally pull a face too - like the people giving you dirty looks. It's not PC to admit to it, but again, I know I'm not alone.

Coolashmula

Nope you aren't alone but at the same time we need to practice patience.
All children are our children since we live on the same flipping planet.
Share streets. Share buses.

Someone mentioned it being a british problem and I think I agree!!

Coolashmoola
Hahah yes! When I was pregnant I used to think, "How could they poison that child's mind so early with an Ipad? ?!!"
Now it's a whole other story !!

I find other people's shrieking and noisy children annoying wherever I am in the world, especially on planes/restaurants/public transport....Don't get me started on children incessantly kicking the back of plane seats... But the level of patience I feel depends on whether I can perceive the parent is making an effort to calm the shrilling down or encouraging it more because either the parent is clearly delighting in the 'chatter' or he/she is engaging in performance parenting.

Ok love.

Well how about you practice some of that patience you keep talking about with your fellow commuters .

Then everyone will be happy.

Are you always this sanctimonious? 'We need to practice patience...' [sic]

I teach 16-19 year old teenagers with behavioural issues. I have vast amounts of patience. That doesn't mean that I have to like listening to other people's babies babbling incessantly. Like it or not, other people just don't find your baby as wonderful as you do. How about you practise patience with them instead of complaining that they looked at your baby.

Nomudlotus

If I knew how to practice patience towards grown men I wouldn't have started this topic.

Coolashmoola
You are right about that.
In a situation where an adult is giving dirty looks at your baby - in comparison to the normal adult that smiles at a baby -
One gets a bit pissed off.

It's a protective thing.

Grow a richer skin. They probably just don't have children a don't realise that a 9 mounts ikd can't be kept quiet.

The op didn't say her baby was shrieking, she said she was talking and singing.

Op, some people are miserable gits who can't smile at babies. It's a shame for them that they can't find pleasure in a wee girl. Ignore them.

Ttbb

"Grow a richer skin" is such a good way to put it!
That's true... I'll try!

Thank you to those people who actually read through the lines and replied in a helpful way.
It will be a lot easier tomorrow when we have a 4 hour journey back home.

Unless the child is a prodigy Lizzie at 9 months it's highly unlikely she is either talking or singing.

Op - it's not a 'protective thing' at all. People allegedly looking at your child holds no threat. It's an indignant response to people being underwhelmed by your perfect offspring. You are not feeling threatened and therefore protective - you are feeling offended by the possibility that people are less than impressed by your dd.

Here's a hint - it's not all about you or her.

Lizzieoak

Yes very true! Although it's understandable from what people have said.

Calling people "immature" for giving you a look is probably not very helpful. There are plenty of reasons why they might find baby noise to be difficult. The thing about public transport is that you're sharing it with strangers. They have to put up with you and your baby, you have to put up with their looks of disapproval. If you can't cope with that then you need to find a private means of transport.

People tend to be more forgiving if you look like you're making some effort to pacify your baby or at least to be apologetic about the noise.

Are you sure the looks you're seeing aren't "aww" or indeed "I am staring into space thinking about nothing, you and your child happen to be in my vague non focused eye line"

I am one or the other, generally speaking

It's because you're a much better mum than any of us OP. Us with our boring 6 pm bedtimes stifling the creative instincts of our 9 month year old babies.

You should go backpacking in wider circles, travel the world, and find a niche where people truly appreciate your 9 month old's chatting.

FFS I'll bet 90% of the people weren't giving your kid dirty looks, but were giving you dirty looks. Because you sound like a precious snowflake who thinks she's the first person to have birthed a baby and continued to have a life and exciting adventures afterwards.

ZaphodBeeblebox

Who said that being grounded and staying at home is boring?
I am envious of people that are.
I tried really hard to do that but it didn't work. I tried to make a nest for my baby and settle with my partner but it fell apart.

We are all different. There's no need for negativity just because I am asking for advice from like minded people.
Since the latter just respond with sarcasm and assumptions.

Get used to it OP because whatever she's doing now will be nothing in comparison to what she gets up to when she's 2, or 3!

I've travelled about with mine (inc London commute when DD was at my office nursery) and would also be a bit put out at someone glaring at a child.
Fine if they give me the stink eye but glaring at a toddler is just weird.

Don't mind me

OP, what did you mean when you mentioned your baby "never cries or sleeps". Do you just mean on public transport? Or never in general?

And why do you have a 4 hour journey ahead of you tomorrow? Are you still back-packing with the baby at the moment?

Anyway. I don't find baby noises (chatting, gurgling, babbling whatever) particularly irritating when I'm on public transport but I've had 2 kids in 3 years and think I just tune it out. Maybe next time you're on the bus you should just focus on your baby and her chatting. Don't look around at the other passengers and then you won't notice the dirty looks.

Turkeyneck
Hahaha oh no :( It's exciting but terrifying. Any tips on getting your child really into colouring books? Lol